First time since I moved in I don't have to go tearing off anywhere and can really dig into sorting out the bags and boxes, and hopefully start unpacking the books and putting them on the shelves.
Naturally, I have bugger-all motivation.
because I am complaining about spending money and that's kinda privileged....
I am usually frugal but I when I have to buy things I just put my head down and do it all at once..so this week I have purchased new prescription sunnies, new backpack (good bellroy one that will last forever), bulk foods (cleaning things and flours etc) and then a couple of pretty and good work tops from my fav little shop. And a nice combo card holder and pencil case so I can keep my things together and not forget them (geeky but I ADORE IT).
Feeling a nice dopamine rush and slight panic (I had money aside but still). I am having a beer at hopheads and might buy dinner tonight to cap off a day of running around shopping. I am not going away for long weekend so this so this is kinda my holiday...yeah?
I am very good with money and on top of bills and fortunate in my current job and but I still struggle with buy good stuff that will last forever (or worse buying something new because the forever thing I own actually doesn't do the job anymore) versus make do with nothing. Oh to have a brain that could be happy.
I'm feeling so ugh. The new kid moving in and the mentor moving out is all weighing on my mind. So many conflicting feelings. Anger + sadness + disappointment + resentment + guilt + pity + somehow partial apathy +feeling bad for all of the above + whatever the negative version of nostalgia is is a potent combo. I typed out my feelings before ultimately deleting because it was too long, but it didn't help. Also went for a walk and tried to distract myself with YouTube and other things but that didn't work either
I've made the commitment this week. Before I can think my way out of it, I've booked and paid for a room up in Echuca/Moama. This means I get to stop in at my favourite bakery in Kyneton on the way for lunch and continue listening to the audiobook I'm getting into (11/22/63). Should be a lovely weekend.
It's been a sluggish day after a poor sleep last night thanks to too much sake and no food. But I managed to squeeze in some glorious time at one of the best Japanese gardens around and laid down on the turf in a secluded area near closing time with my shoes off and eyes closed. Got a wonderful 30 minutes in. Honestly, lying on grass barefoot does wonders for the body and soul...
Having a lovely treat of vegan Japanese style food for dinner (mainly so I can get some vegetables) at a wonderful, quiet little oasis amongst the concrete, decked out in wood and plants and gentle music. Calming vibes all around.
Tomorrow, I might try to squeeze in a bit more garden time and get some things posted before I schlep it for 5 hours on various trains to get myself to Tokyo. No idea what I'll be doing there for 4 days aside from going to two specific shops. Maybe just wander around with my notebook. Check out a teamLab exhibit maybe, they do some banging shows.
It may be winter, a state of affairs I don't really approve of, but I stewed some rhubarb yesterday and I'm now having it for breakfast with muesli and yoghurt. And tea. And the sun's out.
I might just make it through another few months of this bleakness.
I've tentatively booked Miss Meow in for the vet on Monday. I'm not sure if I can get a lift and am a bit stressed because of the automatic prompt shit with the taxi booking system... I need to speak to a human operator to make double sure they know a cat will be riding as that's caused issues in the past, but the last time I did that it kicked me in circles with the bot ๐ Normal Uber has consistently refused to take pets.
I've downloaded the taxi app and seen that you can add notes for the driver so if I can't sort a lift I can do that. And the last resort is Pet Uber. (Being as surge pricing can unexpectedly get exorbitant.) If I'm truly fucked we can submit to the ordeal of the bus.
Fuck I wish I had an electric quadbike or something just for things like this.
So conclusion to yesterdayโs mystery. At least shit, I HOPE it is! And again, Iโll throw this behind a nsfw
spoiler
So I couldnโt figure out a polite way to say โhey, Iโm sure my brains fucked with anxiety, but you werenโt trying to get me to finish inside the other night, right?โ
I feel like German might have the words for that, but English entirely fails. So I came up with a better idea: propose we go again and offer to wear one and see if there are any objections. Genius right? There were no objections. Also no ones yelled in like 48 hours so we might be onto something here.
Alright. I think Iโve shared enough about my bedroom to last us all a life time.
But the reason I stayed up was to share this:
babymetal x electric call boy - ratatata
I only knew one electric callboy song (pump it) and Iโve only vaguely heard of babymetal. And Iโm really not into metal, but this song is freaking incredible!!! Do yourself a favour and give it a go even if it doesnโt sound like your thing.
I have a lot of free time currently and have gotten so addicted to this silly mobile game called Lumber Inc (it's essentially a lumber factory simulator). Somebody save me!
We've got tickets for Stephen K Amos tonight, he's at the Kingston Arts Centre in Moorabbin. Should be good. Food and drinks somewhere before, maybe the new American BBQ and burger joint Third Wave Cafe if we can get in.
I was not feeling well yesterday so spent the day binge watching a couple of seasons of a French series, UFOs. It was ejoyable, but a bit odd. A giant mount of super-powered extraterrestial fairy floss is not a plot device you see every day.
I've brought work's iPad away with me to try and get used to it. I kinda wish the OS they run on it wasn't so basic but it has a nice screen and good speakers!
Has anyone been with Bank of Melb for a fixed term before? I want to open one, and out of the banks that offer fixed terms to under 18s, BoM seem to have the highest interest rates. But I've never opened a fixed term account before, so opinions appreciated
Edit: I just realised I'm using the wrong terminology. I mean a fixed term deposit, not a loan