I hear this one too and honestly, it does negatively effect them, they just don't see it because it feels like it's always been there. But give them ad-block for a week and then take it away...

Yeah that is annoying as hell. Like I get it if it's just like "my files are private, I'll open them if you have shares" but that whole "I need X album FLAC and a $50 baskin robbins gift card and then I might share with you" shit is the lamest thing I've ever seen.

XMPP (with omemeo) is the classic (and also what FB messenger uses behind the scenes, without omemo), Matrix is the new kid on the block taking over. Both are decentralized sorta like the fediverse (but separate from said fediverse.)

Used to use Signal, but they're removing SMS support so everyone might as well switch to matrix. Wickr was bought by amazon (and they say they won't ruin it, riiiight), so that's out. Idk enough about briar or session, and telegram isn't as secure as people seem to think.

Not contributing to the debate necessarily, I'd just like to take a moment to say:

Tbf, if you don't like "Those openly avocating violence and cruelty towards others who are being neither violent or cruel," then you'll want to be on an instance that defederates lemmygrad and lemmy.ml. Before the reddit exodus this place was almost entirely genocide denialiasts who support Cuba, China, Russia (incl. the current invasion and simping for the USSR), and who want to literally murder all small business owners and landlords even if they only rent out their spare room or an old townhouse from before they got married for some extra income to help pay for meds in retirement, but no matter, "bourgeoisie."

The only reason they aren't so prominent today is the flood drowned them out a bit, they're still very much here, and they're no better than the Nazis, and the kicker is they both think they're the good guys lol.

Edit: Hehe downvotes mean nothing here, but I can see I upset a few of those genocide denialists and that makes me happy.