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I'm a dad, and I got jokes. Have a great day!

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Texas hospitals must now ask patients whether they're in the US legally
  • Because the legal residents are getting such good healthcare, too?! Don't you just love the racism outlet Sinclair Broadcasting has echo chambered in America?

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  • Lil man might have to sit this month out.

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    You made it to Friday! Have a restful weekend with this tan egg
  • But I'm glad you're here, and so is this bun bun!

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    Trump says Liz Cheney should be 'shot in face' by 9 guns
  • I agree entirely with the sentiment and rationale. I patiently remind you it doesn't matter since his SCOTUS appointments effectively negated 1/3 of our government, thus guaranteeing region destabilization for the next 20 years. Just like the foreign powers that empowered him intended.

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  • Why not start the month, right? I don't even know you, but I believe in you!

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    Greetings fellow internet friends! I'm DaMonsterKnees, and the very generous Otter has invited me here to take part in the building of this great community, for which I am very grateful. I have been on this site since the *eddit API fiasco, and I can say with certainty, I couldn't be happier. Lemmy is a great many things, but perhaps most relevant to this post, is that it only gets better the more you take part in it. That's why I'm here. I'll be doing my best to contribute to the conversation and this community. I want to share and learn and spread joy thanks to these sweet creatures. With this in mind, I welcome you all to enjoy and find only positivity here. Thanks again, and I look forward to getting to know all of you. And, Happy Halloween!

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    New Community: Looking for moderators and contributors
  • Did hit you up in the DMs, but I'm posting my interest here also. Tan eggs, my muse with an O ;p

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    c/TanEggs - For animals that fit the 'tan egg' description - Looking for moderators & contributors
  • Damn, sorry I posted asking the question a few threads back and hadn't seen this yet. Apologies. I like the concept very much.

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    New Community: Looking for moderators and contributors
  • I am often reminded by myself and others that I can be slow on the uptake, but what exactly is a tan egg? Field mice? I'm intrigued, but I would like more information. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for cute, positive energy on our site.

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    Army releases report about Trump campaign incident at Arlington National Cemetery.
  • "... to a registered charity, all I need is a pint a day..."

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    Army releases report about Trump campaign incident at Arlington National Cemetery.
  • "The report, which is almost completely redacted..."

    I just won a bet, WITH MYSELF!

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    What did I witness?
  • Of course, it does make me wonder if flamingos taste like shrimp scampi. Also, the Italian in me must point out the redundant nature of that dishes name. Great share, thanks!

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    Elon Musk has regularly talked with  Vladimir Putin — and faced 'implicit threats': report
  • Honestly, whatevers clever at this point. All this bullshit right in our face, and all we can do is suck in it. I agree with you, though. I just pray the African American women of Georgia save this country again.

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    Elon Musk has regularly talked with  Vladimir Putin — and faced 'implicit threats': report
  • Threats, from the Latin meaning, "large sums of money."

    Fuck these people.

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    If there were only three laws, which should they be?
  • A robot can not harm nor, through inaction, allow harm to come to a human

    A robot must obey unless it counters rule one

    A robot must protect itself unless it counters rule 1 or 2

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    McConnell says ‘MAGA movement is completely wrong’ and Reagan ‘wouldn’t recognize’ Trump’s GOP
  • .....as he votes for Trump. Virtue signaling don't mean shit, droopy.

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    Harvey Weinstein diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukemia, sources say
  • Damn, fr? /hug homey. I sincerely hope you get better, anyway possible.

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    A moving Russian tank was sniped using an M777 howitzer.
  • Triple seven hoooooooooo!

    Wun niner ate. Bob's gun!

    Great share, thanks!

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    A joke loved by Ancient Egyptian dads
  • I will forever approve this message. I used to end my radio show in college with that clip, "... over?!..."

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    The Nintendo Switch?
  • That'll be 59.99, chump.

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    Pizza Connection / Pizza Tycoon (1994) - US Cover Art
  • Ohhhhh man, do I remember the first "wave" of tycoon games. I also remember the first time I saw a $100 price tag on a computer game, and it was Transport Tycoon, believe it or not. Anyone encounter similar.... thirty years ago, heh?

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  • There I was, just watching The Office...

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    He would neither party nor bullshit.

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