"Damn, Supreme Leader wasn't lying. Compared to this, North Korea is truly the greatest country in the world"

God: "Lucy, old buddy? I need you to invent something for me"

Haie sind tatsächlich extrem glatt. Ich sitze gerade auf einem Hai und kann mich kaum auf seinem glatten Rücken festhalten

Ok Jack, I'm gonna need some explanation for this meme

It feels like one of those tools almost all of the population would never even see, but for one very specific niche it's extremely invaluable

Why are you guys talking about nuclear weapons? She's referring to the "dirty bomb" that she dropped in a Nando's bathroom in London 2014

I've recently had a similar discussion on why orange ice cream isn't that popular, but exists in form of water ice

Our conclusion was that acidic flavors, like orange and apple just aren't good combined with cream, instead being better served as a sorbet

But he did have two sisters, which makes this post a lot weirder

Nah, they launched an expedition there in '04 and found out that Mexico is, in fact, a real place

Somewhat related, there's a notable decrease in gang violence un Mexico whenever a new Dragon Ball movie gets released

You can tell that this joke is old because they think that $1000 is be a lot. Nowadays, with how much inflation we've had, I would want at least $500

Do you want V'Ger? Cause that's how you get V'Ger

Taking the piss out of beans on toast has always been so weird to me because there's nothing more pan-humanity that eating legumes on a starch

It might be bread and beans, rice and lentils, peanuts and potatoes, but sooner or later, everyone will come up with their own version of "Bean on toast"

Quick question, is this a tax deductible donation? The IRS won't answer my emails on this

https://xkcd.com/2650/

I did this and now my son is crying. Are you sure that's good advice?

Edit: I might have misunderstood something

Because living people usually don't get buried. Only dead ones

Unfortunately, neither vanilla nor coffee beans are actual beans

Not just math but actual maths

That's like math^2