CENTCOM are the HQ for the madlads that made "proportional response" a meme. They were supposed to sink a couple ships and disable a few oil platforms and instead pretty much obliterated half of the Iranian navy in the process.
Yeah we need to resolve that first. Aunts are cool and take you to a theme park on summer break, whereas aunts don't let you sit on the good furniture and the only candy they have are those lozenges with the wrapper that looks like a strawberry
Or an elevator stuck between floors for two hours