What, cops do useful work? Don't be absurd.
Invasive species, spider, kill on sight, got it.
Steve Gibson recently created a small utility to test USB drives to see if they work and actually give you the store space they claim.
Sounds like a great way to make an insurance claim on a bunch of NFTs worth "millions" that you could not convince anyone to buy.
It does have a micro SD card slot. It is also possible to replace the main M.2 drive with a larger one, I have 2TB in my Steam Deck.
I regularly take nail polish and paint over these infernal LEDs in layers until they are at a brightness that I find acceptable. Red are not so bad, but blue LEDs area nightmare. I have a cheap Chinese headlamp were the blue battery indicator is brighter than the red led for illumination, and the blue reflects off my glasses into my eyes.

I didn't know urine deflectors were a thing.

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I have seen some of these objects before and it never occurred to me what they where.