My sleep pattern is very similar. Waking up consistently for work is a constant struggle and makes me long for the 10 months I took off a few years ago when I quit my job.
I know what you mean, starting earlier would have saved me from so many horrible years, but I also wouldn't be who I am now without going through what I did.
Too many things to list them all, but there's a few big ones.
Fear kept me in the closet for like 15 years past when I began to figure out I was trans. It lead to years of depression, dropping out of college, suicide ideation, and countless missed opportunities. I did get an associates degree when I was 26, and eventually came out at 28. 6 years later and that first phone call to come out to my sister was the scariest, and best thing I've ever done.
Fear has stopped me from opening up to pretty much everyone, though I'm working on that in therapy, and have been for a few years now.
Fear keeps me from dealing with conflicts, I'd prefer to suffer in silence than deal with the overwhelming fear that comes with conflict. I'm working on this one too!
Managing fear is a constant battle, but I'm slowly winning.
Would the firewall replace her mold wall?