Headscale might be a solution to that, but for something designed to essentially punch through most of my security I would rather prefer something well-supported by a larger player, tbh.

Firstly, why do you want something from a larger player? The whole idea of self-hosting is to avoid relying on the work of large players.

Secondly, Tailscale isn't a large player. If you look at how many people it has on its GitHub page, it's got 20 people able to make commits. This isn't a large organisation, it's a small company:

https://github.com/orgs/tailscale/people

Thirdly, Tailscale uses Wireguard at its core, which isn't something from a "larger player". If you can't trust Wireguard, how are you going to trust Tailscale?