You don’t have to be suicidal to jump on a grenade

With severe burns, that won’t be true for likely several years, maybe never.

I don’t know how many 28+ year old virgins you’ve met, but I know like 5-6, none of whom are completely socially inept(I have really nerdy hobbies? I don’t know why I know so many), and only one would be at all cool with another person making a joke about it, but still probably not a random aunt.

The one other exception I can think of is the religiously celibate, who might be a-okay with it from their aunt to cheer up a cousin, but I’m sure not doing it.

You cheer them up by telling them that at least they don’t have to deal with [insert bad present from an ex here] and she doesn’t have to buy any extra presents this year.

If that doesn’t work, you base it off of their exes’ behavior: for example if they got sloppy drunk, you say that at least she doesn’t need to DD/babysit this year. If they were loud, you say that at least she’s not going to suffer permanent hearing damage.

We’ve been seeing these signs for years, but what can we do about it? A world war could never be a surprise, because it requires significant worldwide tension.

There’s also no evidence that horseshoe crabs have individual names and understand the concept of evolution.

I sometimes have medium length nails (3-5 mm past the fingertip), though I tend to just grow my own out, and I do it entirely for myself. I have a bunch of different kinds of nail polish and stencils for making cool patterns and it satisfies my inner elementary school librarian urge to dress up for even very minor holidays.

People have come up to me and told me that my nails are too long for them to find attractive, which is a bizarre non sequitur imo. I don’t know why the assumption is that any self-decoration is intended as a sexual signal: my ideal nail-based interaction is that a little kid asks about them and I get to tell them about Arbor Day or national soup day or something.

Sometimes they make life more difficult, and then I either find workarounds (opening pull tabs with a spoon, for example) or cut them, depending on how much time I have and how much I like my current nails.

I get that they’re not for everyone, but I like them, so I wear them. It’s okay if others don’t like them, they don’t have to wear them.

Deadass basically means “really”

My dad leaves the shell fully on as a stand-alone appetizer of grilled shrimp, so the shrimp is entirely covered in shell. It took until the third time my ex had dinner there for him to ask why the shrimp was so crunchy and for me to realize I’d forgotten to warn him.

Thank you for this. I just stumbled here from all, and I know nothing about gaming or any other context, except for news stories about blizzard, for example. When I read the name, my first thought was wondering if they’re cool with a woman as a boss (I’m not trying to be shitty, just with the blizzard fiasco, that’s where my mind went). I’m really glad I’m not leaving this story with that assumption in place

I said Schmierkampagne in real life yesterday.

I’m a native English speaker and Zangendeutsch is ruining me.

You could just replace the mirror, it’s not normally that difficult to swap out

I wish it were different, but the Green Party sucks in the two countries I’ve lived in. I want to vote for environmentalists, but they seem to be Russian shills in the US, and they’ve had literal stasi members in Germany, where they were so opposed to nuclear, that the country still uses mostly coal.

I interpreted it as “vote only for those democrats who support voting reform,” but it could also be sarcasm.

My only act of physical coordination was getting a bucket into my lap while sitting on the toilet.

Truly a terrible end to date night.

I’ve had food poisoning. How the fuck was he having sex? That’s dedication.

Dollar store philosopher king

Didn’t trump rape a child? And shut down a bill to fund ICE? It must be tough to keep straight when you’re supposed to care about child rape and border security.

That’s… sad.

The words “I have concepts of a plan” are still ringing in my head. I cannot conceive of intentionally saying something so profoundly useless. I found that shocking, but I try to watch him speak as little as I can. They work with him every day and should not be shocked by this.