weird_alt @ weird_alt @lemmynsfw.com

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2 yr. ago

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I've always been into a lot of kinks. To me, Vanilla isn't boring per se, but I do want to live out my kinks whenever possible. Some of the stuff I'm into is extreme, but I don't feel like it's escalating over time. I still have vanilla sex sometimes, it's not bad

No problem.

Regarding the polycule: I'm super happy to have found a bunch of people that are able to treat relationships in a very adult way. Never had drama in 2 years but am in 4 very loving relationships.

Now, I'm also lucky to be in a situation where I can be openly trans very safely. I have a lot of people that are supportive and was never in any dangerous situation because of it.

Funnily enough, it never occurred to me that I have a high sex drive until I got into my first relationships by the age of 20. I always thought "Hey, many people I know masturbate 3-4 times a day, once a day seems pretty normal". What I didn't consider was that they did it 10 minutes each time, while I did so for 4-6 hours. It's good that this is reduced now by testosterone blockers. But now all my physical need has fully transformed in a need for sex, which can make it a bit more difficult.

I don't ever actually cum during sex (difficult because of past trauma), only through masturbation. But I don't actually feel like I need it, the sex alone feels way nicer than an orgasm ever did

Thanks. Really sucks that cloudflare is basically holding our data hostage :c

Hi, is there any update on this?

Probably going commando an entire day while wearing a short skirt and masturbating at work. Otherwise freezing cum for an entire month and doing anything from swallow, creampies to facials with it on one evening

Damn, I'm sorry for getting denied a diagnosis, that sucks :/

How has this affected your life, work, relationships and friendships?

Life is good, despite everything. Work is surprisingly unaffected (more detail later). I'm exclusively in open/poly relationships now, as anything else would make me feel hugely unsatisfied. I'm so fucking lucky that the first girlfriend of my now polycule was poly (never thought about it before), because so much good came from it, I'll never look back to my mono life. Friendships are good, although weird. I recently noticed that I don't have a single friend whom I didn't have sex with. Either because I took the chance of sex with them all or because I lost interest in the friendships without. It's not that I have regular sex with them, it's more that I don't feel that close to them if we never had sex.

Which compulsive behaviors do you experience?

Don't know if all of them are specifically compulsive, but: Cannot say no to sex, want more sex after sex unless I'm so exhausted that I cannot move, intense need to kiss somebody if they have their head very close to mine (super awkward at work, when people are looking over my shoulder to help me with stuff or look over my work. I had situations where I had to pinch myself so hard you could see the mark for weeks as to not actually kiss some random coworker), same thing again but with crotches (luckily that's rarer) and a few more that I'm not remembering right now

Any hobbies that haven't been absorbed by more sexy time?

Damn, what a callout 😅 I just realized that I haven't played any roleplaying/pen&paper games in a while, so that's also dead now. Stopped playing any video games 2 year ago. Didn't do any of my creative hobbies in over 5. Nowadays when I'm alone and have some time on my hands I usually only watch YouTube and stuff like that, which I feel awful about because it feels like I'm wasting my time when I could be creating something. Sad to realize that I don't really do any hobbies anymore

What is your job and how do you get through the day?

IT job, very chill. I get by quite good, although I'm often distracted. Coding is quite nice, because it distracts me from everything else. I used to do it as a hobby, but stopped when I started it as work. I'm actually surprised (and quite happy) that the one compulsive behavior from before never happened, it would probably ruin it all.

How often do you have sex? How often do you masturbate?

Sex around twice a week, although 5 times would be my preferred amount. One circle of people I had regular sex with kinda imploded on me (nothing actually happened, I just don't really see them anymore for different, non-dramatic reasons) and now I'm currently struggling on getting my sex frequency back up. Masturbation I also do twice a week, but more because I should to prevent penile athropy as a trans women, not because I enjoy it. Masturbation has been boring for while now and I wouldn't be doing it at all if had more sex again. Due to my testosterone blockers (basically the strongest anti-aphrodisiac one could take) I should loose my sex drive completely, but it's more like it was separated into physical and mental horny-ness. I feel zero need to masturbate, but my mental need for sex is stronger than ever. I only once went over a month without sex or masturbation and I got continuingly more horny until I was actually drunk from it. I was so out of it that friends were worried and approached me about it because they thought I was abusing drugs (I never do, just was that horny)

What's the craziest place you had sex at?

Probably my dad's living room while he was asleep. Or my girlfriends room while multiple people were in the room doing other stuff. While I would definitely be up for doing something in public, I'd never go through with it as the legal consequences here are too high.

What's the biggest trouble you have gotten in because of hypersexuality?

Don't want to get into details because of trauma, but there is this one thing that I cannot talk to anyone about and will probably take to my grave if nothing extraordinary happens, as otherwise it will nuke an entire friend group and ruin the lives of multiple people that mean a lot to me.

Do you enjoy sex still or does it more feel like satisfying a basic need? Or both?

Depends on the sex. Quick sex or masturbation in general does nothing for me in terms of reducing my needs. I love having very intense, long and exhausting sex. Sometimes with multiple people. It's perfect when I can barely move afterwards

I think ruined orgasms are quite good for that, as you can keep going directly afterwards. You'll still be horny and don't have that "post nut clarity". With time you'll learn to do it anyways if you do it more. I recommend not just eating it pure the first times, as the taste might put you off

Also, you should know that cum goes bad really fast, like in less than 5 minutes. It gets really disgusting, so you should eat it fast. Some people recommend freezing it, but as a person with experience on that, if you don't immediately freeze it (basically standing next to the freezer while you cum) you just freeze bad cum that might include bacteria. The thawing process also sucks because it keeps getting bad during it. I don't recommend freezing, fresh cum is always the best

Very happy for you ☺️ Pain can be such a nice thing, especially when your play partner has a good sense of how much you can take and knows what they are doing. Really sounds like you had an amazing time.

I always love the aftermath and the marks it leaves, reminding one self of that good time. We're you left with any nice marks or bruises?

In terms of a pain scale, I don't think there is a universal method. In medical settings you sometimes get asked to rate your pain on 0 to 10 (NRS: Numerical Rating Scale), but that is very subjective. In my personal experiences, there is no upper limit to pain. You can always go harder and more extreme. It's way more important to discover what your personal upper limits are and define your scale from 0-10. That's why it's very good to do pain play with the same people that you did it with before, as they will learn what you can take and adjust the session accordingly, without going to far.

Do pre-op trans-women stop having morning erections

They do. Without enough testosterone, the body will stop doing this. More interestingly, (and somehow no man in the world knows this) men get erections at night when they sleep to keep their penile tissue maneuverable and stop damage to the erectile tissue even if they don't have sex or masturbate. With testosterone blockers, this stops and you need to do it manually otherwise you risk permanent damage (which is guaranteed otherwise). This is called penile atrophy, which makes any form of erection very uncomfortable and painful. As fitting as that sounds, kink should never play with lasting damage like that.

I'm not sure how it could be properly framed in the IMs masturbatory fantasies

I don't see it very differently from using a dildo, which was kind of already framed as feminine, not manly form of stimulation. It also opens the possibility of the vibrator being fixated to a chastity cage and "forgotten" to be take of. I see lot's of potential for humiliation with it

I explicitly cheated for trans-folks and just said they can just self-identify - but maybe I shouldn't have done that?

I think it's the perfect approach and doesn't really need changing. It's just nice to see someone considered trans people so well in a kink writing

I actually think your approach is the ideal one to cover trans people in this. You don't treat them in any bad way but still give the ability to participate if they are into it. I find your argumentation for that also very well put and I don't think it'll need to be changed. My additions about trans women anatomy where just interesting things to consider if ever doing this with a trans woman, it doesn't need that to be included.

In the end, nothing is ever really written into stone. This can serve as good inspiration for someone, but might need some adjusting for the specific person, as is the way with kink. Your text is actually perfect for considering trans people in this and if they want to participate, you adjust the little details to them.

If 2 consenting people want to try this out, the length measurement can be arbitrarily set to any amount that will result in the desired outcome. I think it works well and trans people can still easily fall into your 12cm measurement (especially with the way it's written, they don't necessarily need to be erect for measurement, which can be harder for trans women and would serve as a new angle of humiliation)

Very good read! Thanks for contributing to the community in such a creative way

As for feedback:

I loved the consideration for trans people and your argumentation. It boiling down to "if they are into it" is kind of funny.

It should be noted that in case of being a caretaker of a trans women without bottom surgery, their vestige will still require regular erection, otherwise you risk guaranteed permanent damage to the tissue, which should always be avoided in kink. This doesn't mean they will need pleasure or ejaculation, just the erection itself is enough.

The thought of a post-op trans IM is super funny to me, because I am pretty sure they can choose size when they have their bottom surgery. Purposefully choosing to get a vestige for kink purposes is an interesting thought.

Suggestion for the masturbation section: a vibrator or vibrating wand can be used to reach ejaculation, even if in chastity. This would not give the IM any wrong thoughts of sexual penetration and also prevent them from needing to touch themselves when anal doesn't work.

Damn this sucks, I'm so sorry. Abuse like this really messes one up.

I personally think kink should never be used in a way where it negatively affects somebody's career or relationships. That's something that need agreement on. Is there any way to reconcile with you family (if you even want that)? A career can always be build back up but personal connections are a bit harder.

For me personally (I know it's not quite the same dynamic) all my D/S or Owner/Pet relationships have been build on top of very strong relationships in the first place. Those are people that I am sure I can trust with my body and life. I know for sure that if they hurt me, it's because they love me. Build you safety and trust with somebody first before you enter a relationship where this trust is so important.

For me also, someone once outright rejected my proposal of a freeuse relationship, because they didn't think they would be able to take full responsibility for me like that. This was a huge sign of respect and showed me that this person has my safety higher than their enjoyment, which is a trait you need for these extreme types of relationships.

I hope you're doing well and will get back out there with time, just always keep your safety in mind first

Last week I got to try such a cane and damn it was painful XD

The picture was taken a few days after, I love how you can see a bruise for ever single hit (also the two parallel lines are pretty ^^). My lower leg had even more, but I sadly don't have a good picture of it. I definitely like it and will use it again soon, hopefully with some good pictures

Damn, the metal rings look mean 😅

For me it was when I was crashing at a friend's place and we were both bored. A mutual friend (with lots of bondage experience) had taught him a simple rope handcuff and we tried to do it. Afterwards we wanted to do more and over the span of a weekend we got kinda good at it.

I loved getting restrained, feeling the rope and being unable to move. I never learned any rigging myself and became a full on ropebunny instead LOL

Also, turns out I'm really into pain, impact play and bondage mix very well. From there on out I started getting into more and more other kink topics and I keep on discovering more things I like

LOL

So apparently the plant which is called "Raps" in german is called Rapeseed in English. You learn something new every day XD

My personal recommendations: get the big candles, not the thin ones. They produce way more wax and don't fall over as easily. I also had a problem with them where they would melt a channel on the side and just leak out most wax. Also, as said before, colors similar to your skin tone might not show as well on camera

The producer is named Flame Marked Candles, but their website is in german

Thanks ^^ I should have known beforehand that white wouldn't really be visible on my skin, but now I know better for the next time I'm buying candles

The entire rope structure doesn't seem safe. I'm unsure if I should remove this post for showing potential bodily harm

Nice ^^ looks really good on you

I also really love the color :o