Sadly, this is not the Onion. !nottheonion@zerobytes.monster

For true stories that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

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Germany: Tesla factory missing 65,000 coffee mugs

Man caught smuggling 100 live snakes in his pants, Chinese officials say

Burkina Faso's military junta to ban homosexual acts

Abbott in East Asia during entirety of Hurricane Beryl for economic trip

North Korea denounces NATO, US as 'most serious threat' to global peace

Rideshare driver robbed by panhandler after giving the man money, DC police say

The gods must be angry: Mexico 'cancels' statue of Greek god Poseidon after dispute with local deity

Angela Merkel detective series premieres in Italy

DOJ rejects QAnon Shaman's request to get his Jan. 6 helmet and spear back

The gods must be angry: Mexico 'cancels' statue of Greek god Poseidon after dispute with local deity

Dublin Airport: Woman asked to remove breast prosthesis at security

Rotisserie mystery: Yukoner's dog finds pile of cooked chickens dumped in woods

White sharks lurking in Massachusetts waters, New England Aquarium warns ahead of Memorial Day weekend

Public defecation creating a stink in Courtenay, B.C.

UP Man, Father Of 5 Girls, Cuts Open Wife's Stomach To Check Baby's Gender

Cate Blanchett Claims She's 'Middle Class' During U.N. Event At Cannes Film Festival

Nearly 80% of Americans now consider fast food a 'luxury' due to high prices

Utah man declined $100K offer to travel to Congo on 'security job' that was covert coup attempt

Pastor claims to be able to talk to God on his cellphone

Pronouns and tribal affiliations are now forbidden in South Dakota public university employee emails