What is the most important lesson you've learned from a difficult experience?

Always check for toilet paper before you shit

39

It's possible to make no errors and still lose.
Some people are dealt a worse hand in life than others and some people are better at playing their hand than others, so don't assume you know why people are the way they are.
Patient compassion will never make you look like a jerk, but snap judgements will.

36

Be comfortable in your own skin.
Know why you have boundaries, and keep the good ones.
They either want you to listen, or to help. They rarely want both.
It’s only a “Teaching Moment” if they want to be taught. Otherwise you’re just annoying.
Try not to confuse politeness for friendship.
Chew each bite of food into a paste before swallowing, with your eating utensil on the table or the hand meal out of your hand.
The true you is the you that you do when no one’s watching. (See #1…)
A happy life is 51% happy. Settle for nothing less, strive for something sustainably more.
If you’re feeling depressed take a step back and make sure you haven’t accidentally surrounded yourself with assholes.
Only ever brush and floss the teeth you want in your head when you’re old.

29

Nothing matters but family and friends. The rest will pass sooner or later, there is no need to cling to it when it is time to let go.

22

Including family and friends.

19
- Stoic/Buddhist wisdom
  
  4

Sheer spite is a perfectly valid reason to continue to get out of bed in the morning.

Nobody on their deathbed has ever said, "I wish I spent more time in the office."

A battle you don't have to fight is a battle won. But if you do have to hurt somebody, hurt them bad enough that they won't get back up. Otherwise, they're very likely to come right back at you.

19

okay those are three different things, took me time to realize that you don't need to fist fight your boss in your bed

7
- I mean, be the change you want to see in the world...
  
  4
That last one is straight up Ender Wiggin

3

When you feel the burnout building up, you really should not try to stick it out "just until this project is done and I can get some rest"...

18

Would you mind elaborating on this? I just recently have been struggling with massive burnout at my job, amplified by being stuck on the same project by myself for 1 year+, team being understaffed, and inconsistent expectations from stakeholders.

6
- I was in a very similar position during 2022. It's a perfect burnout recipe, chronic stressors everywhere and no power to change them. I could feel it building, but was still able to work and the personal stakes were high, so I wanted to make it to the end (which would have been in early 2023). I didn't. I had a break-down in fall, I couldn't do anything anymore (no focus, no energy, really bad memory, lots of mistakes at work). I took sick leave and have been in recovery since, and still don't feel really alright. I have met people who went further than me and have done themselves really bad, and even physical damage doing so - psyche and body feel different, but they are parts of the same organism, and to overtax one is to overtax the other.
  
  In no way was it worth it. I would have chosen differently if I had known what the later stages of burnout felt like.
  
  I really mean it - if it's in any way feasible and you've exhausted other pathways to change inside your role, quit before your body does it for you.
  
  1

Drugs and alcohol don't make things better.

15

But they do make things less boring

12
- Only accurate if it's Bailey's, from a shoe.
  
  6

Nobody is coming to save you. Nobody. If you want help, ask. If you don't want to ask, learn to save yourself.

15

Don’t waste your time keeping toxic “friends” around. People who exhibit behaviors that demonstrate a low maturity level at an age where they could/should have grown out of it twice aren’t going to by the time they drive you insane.

13

The only constant is change

13

It's such a simple phrase, but this got me through a really tough time in my life when I was sort of bordering suicidal. I just wanted it to all stop. But I knew that if I waited long enough things would change. Maybe they would change for the better and maybe they would change for the worse, but they would change. Things always change and ebb and flow and there are always good and bad. So I held out long enough and things changed. And I'm still here today. I'm also in significantly better place than I was back then!

8

Trust no one absolutely.

12

Drink more liquids.

11

cheese can sometimes be a liquid

9
- Just because it goes in as a solid and comes out as a liquid does not mean it’s a liquid!
  
  I probably means you’re lactose intolerant.
  
  5
Cheers, I'll drink to that!

2

Selfishness within reason is good.

10

No one has to care about you. No one has to be nice to you. No one has to be fair to you. Expecting otherwise is just going to leave you open to getting fucked over. People are only out for themselves and if you don't want to be taken advantage of you have to watch your own ass.

10

When life brings you to the point where you cannot sweat the small stuff anymore, it's liberating and you better keep it as a habit. I did.

9

I'll never forget the day I realized I was just exhausted at being angry all the time. I was holding onto so many grudges, something my mom does.

It took me down a path or learning why I was so mad at everything and what to do to fix that.

3

Lean in to arguments that piss you off but that you have trouble verbalizing your position in. 9 times out of 10, you walk away able to better articulate your position, 1 time in 10 you end up changing it.

7

If you don't fit the typical mold of "perfect" you have to step outside your comfort zone and take some risks if you really intend to pursue your goals in spite of arbitrary rejection.

7

This is niche but

Switchport trunk allowed vlan # add

Stupid add being optional.

7

Cisco?

3
- You know it mate.
  
  2

Just because someone love you doesn’t mean they will treat you even close to civil.

Some people truly are that bad. They can look like a normal person but in reality can not be redeemed. It’s not a communication issue,you don’t need to work harder. These people ARE the problem. When you live with normal people for your life , you can’t even comprehend that people like that are real.

7

In north America we have a legal system not a justice system.

Cost me over 4000$ and 10 years of my time.

7

If you really think that you can’t continue anymore, you can keep going about 3 times as much before real failure.

7

This doesn't apply to cliffs.

10
- Yes, you're right, there are exceptions to this rule.
  
  6
- This guy
  
  3
- Wile E Coyote begs to differ
  
  2

Work friends very rarely turn into real friends, learnt this after covering, changing many shifts only to be left out of staff nights out etc, and when I put my foot down and stopped being a doormat for them found myself jobless and friendless, never let it happen since though and much happier.

5