Men Need a New Narrative. The Future of U.S. Democracy Depends on It
Men Need a New Narrative. The Future of U.S. Democracy Depends on It
Regressive ideas about manhood underlie the anti-democracy movement plaguing the U.S. Men need feminist models of masculinity.
Damn, the author really hit the nail on the head with this one.
On the other side are progressives and liberals, who, according to Emba, are hesitant to say much of anything about men, especially white men, much less speak empathetically about their struggles
Being raised in the 00s when this sort of thing was on the rise, my mother was especially defensive about boys being left out. From a young kid's perspective, I just assumed many teachers didn't like boys, but it still kind of hurt to be treated like a fuckup. Years later, I understood why she was so annoyed at the anti-male behavior of the 00s and 10s.
Unfortunately, this sort of thing continued throughout highschool and college, with community meetings in highschool that essentially blamed rape on men, or special trips that female students were allowed to go on, but male students were not (science conventions, etc).
While I never felt the corrupting force of the Jorden Petersens and Andrew Tates of the world, I completely understand why men in different situations might feel this way. Some friends were swayed by those types for years, and turned over a new leaf when shown empathy and kindness. But that was not an overnight change. It takes awhile to undo that hurt.
The only place where boys were consistently not told they were fuckups was Boyscouts. Boys made mistakes there. They learned there. And it helped them get through tough times or work through shitty personalities. The ones that looked the least redeemable actually became incredible leaders, empathetic people, and people who now give back to society in surprising ways.
There are probably other avenues for boys and men, such as having boys start school a year later than girls. Having spaces where they can make mistakes in a fairly controlled environment, and express emotions would help. Recently, I posted a thread asking about physical affection between men and got some surprisingly good answers. So I think we will get there. At the end of the day, the vast majority of people are normal. Most just want to be treated warmly and will reciprocate that :)
28It's about goddamned time.
This has been what's happened for the last 20 years or so:
The left: "The patriarchy and toxic masculinity are evil and destructive!"
Young men: "Okay. What should I do instead then?"
The left: "Fuck off!"
So, entirely predictably, they've fucked off. Right into the welcoming embrace of the toxically masculine and patriarchal right.
25Call someone the devil enough and eventually they might believe you.
15What the fuck do you mean by "the left"? I don't remember any leftist political party in my country adopting any such program. Or for you "the left" is random people on tumblr or something?
6The left is far less monolithic than the right. It was a sub-subset of the left, a percentage of feminists were/are anti male. Unfortunately, they were not called out for this, and so got very loud about it. This coloured the message from general left leaning sources.
Growing up, there was a lot of "men are bad/evil" and that we needed to make it up to women. A lot of this pressure came from left leaning sources.
Thankfully, I managed to avoid getting drawn into the right leaning backlash to this.
9
I don't understand this comment. Why do you need to ask "The Left" what to do instead of not being misogynistic or promoting toxic masculinity?
Implies it's someone elses responsibility to provide you with alternatives to being a POS rather then just doing anything else.
-1This is going to be counter intuitive: being a POS is something some people want. They especially want it if it promises them comfort, luxury, or status.
I mean, look at all the trash people consume everyday despite how bad it is for them. We all know it's bad. Still, we gotta have it.
Being a POS is like drinking soda with no one to tout the benefits of drinking straight H2O. The left needs to make drinking water sexy!
1It boggles the mind doesn't it? The left tells them what behavior is unacceptable. So they ask how they're supposed to behave. But the left already told them what was unacceptable. Then they get upset when the people who told them how to behave react to negatively to them acting ignorant.
If men really need to be told how to behave at all. There's no hope for men's liberation. If you don't know what patriarchy and misogyny is. You shouldn't be taking part in any debates activism or discourse on the subject. At least not until you've gone and educated yourself.
And to those who really don't know or would actually like to understand. Asking how you're supposed to behave is the wrong way to go about it. You can behave however you like as long as you don't act misogynist and patriarchal. Don't imply someone must be a certain way or can't do a certain thing because of who they are. For example I think most guys would get a little upset if someone assumed that they were an ignorant caveman incapable of learning.
If you really have to ask. The best way to ask is to be genuine. To tell anyone acting offended that you're aware some of the behaviors Etc that you've been raised with are problematic. And that you are doing your best to understand when they are and learn to not do that. And then ask the person to help you understand what Behavior it was that upset them. You'll have infinitely more success and much better answers that way. Just by being sincere.
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Lol no we don't need a new narrative. We need healthy father figures who don't push toxic boomer shit on us.
3So they can stop receiving that toxic narrative and start receiving a new, positive narrative?
9Nah, fuck that positive narrative shit!
We need some kind of affirmative story telling that's different from previous ways things have been told.
/s.
I do think things are getting better for younger men and boys but still has a way to go. Just got to keep moving forward one step at a time.
5