Just had breakfast. Not feeling dizzy anymore after 2 days of rest and drinking lots of water. Thank you fellow lemmings for providing me suggestions in the last post!
I am ready for work now. Hope to get a big task done today!
I wish I was better at conflict, especially with my partner. It gnaws at me constantly if unresolved, gives me horrible anxiety (I'm normally not an anxious person) to the point where I can't eat or sleep. So, I tend to hold back from conflicts altogether. Not a useful solution. I wish I had better advice to offer but in place of that, please accept my commiseration. Hopefully some time to reflect and cool down will prove useful and perhaps your partner will have fresh ideas for resolution when you readdress it.
That sounds like you are taking the conflicts all alone, and trying to avoid them. Eventually you might not be able to take more of those and you will have a emotional breakdown.
I think it might be better to sit down with your partner to come up with a solution together. Maybe just to dicuss the one that bothers you the most first, and eventually the others.
It is unhealthy to keep all the unhappy things on one side and not discuss about it. Hope you can get the issues solved soon! Good luck!
Mother just left after 2 weeks together, was quite scared about it, we don't have the same rhytme of life. Well it went really well, I changed to accommodate with her plans and I saw she did the same without saying anything. Impatient to see her in December again not as stressed about it as usual
I took Friday off to celebrate the release of Baldur's Gate 3 on PS5 and played extensively all weekend. Now it's Monday and I'm sitting in the dark drinking my coffee and trying to ready my mind to go back to work and not play video games all day. While I like my job, I would like another weekend now please.
When you're a conventionally attractive trans woman, your week can be a combo move that goes transphobic harassment>sexual harassment>transphobic harassment. When you're a dedicated person doing things that are important to you and the world, you don't always react to those experiences immediately. You delay the inevitable emotional responses in favor of continued action and productivity. Today I am off work, and those emotional responses have to be had. They're not going anywhere, and they need to be felt before they start affecting my performance in the important parts of my life. So today I'm sad and tired and a little scared. I need to pick up injection supplies from the pharmacy, but I'm just laying in bed crying intermittently. Mostly my life has never been better. I have real friends. I'm essential to a job that is genuinely important. There are people who are properly medicated and living better lives because of my guidance and consultation. There are people who aren't on opiods, who are shaking their addictions to alcohol and harder drugs, because of my knowledge and advice. These are the important aspects of my life. But they don't remove the necessity of these terrible feelings. They're just strong enough to displace them until it's convenient. Which is today. So today I'm sad and tired and a little scared.
It was very busy and stressful. I think I've taken on more than I'm capable of handling and I'm doing a poor job at all of it and I feel inadequate and stressed and like my mental health is balancing precariously. The good news is I should get a break in a few months. I just need to keep juggling these knives until then and hope I don't hit an artery. Like so much of humanity, I just wish the world would stop spinning for a little bit.