12mo ago

If you could design your own body and hit a button and have it immediately implemented, would you keep your natural self or would you make changes?

We'll just all assume that every person who gets this would make themselves early twenties with flawless skin, perfect organs, appendages and functionality, and no excess weight.

My question is, would you change yourself from your genetic baseline, and if so, how?

242 comments

I'm trans so yes, I've been trying to do that for over a decade

I’d get a new bum. Mine’s cracked.
- That's nothing, mine has a hole that goes all the way through!
  
  If you really think about it, people are just donuts with anxiety
  
  Hold on, just a thought. If a straw only has one hole because it goes all the way through, then anus and mouth are both the same hole.
- You could become the unibummer.
- MEND BUTTCRACK

Do I have to have a biological body? I don't want to be carbon based anymore.
- From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel.
  -MisterNeon
  
  That quote gets thrown around at me alot. Which is weird since I paint Orks.
- I mean I've heard that arsenic-based life forms are plausible but I think you have to live in a methane Rich environment to survive so you would basically like collapse into a puddle of toxic goo
  
  I was hoping for something more mechanical or digital. If I'm going through all the hassle of getting a new body then I don't want to bother with the habits of the old one ( eating, sleeping, etc).
  
  TIL Alex Mack probably smelled like a fart.
- Good news! You are now water based! Nothing changed, enjoy your wish!
  
  Awww c'mon this ain't monkey paw.

I would absolutely:
Get rid of anxiety (assuming there's some genetic component to this - seems like all the women in my family have it)
Change my eye color from hazel (mixed green & brown) to full green
Add about 5 inches of height (I'm only 5'0")
Add gills to my sides that deploy at will when under water, but otherwise are hidden
Fix that annoying "it went down the wrong pipe" design flaw
Add a nictitating membrane to help fix my dry eyes
Wings? Maybe!
- Definitely wings. First thing I thought of. Unfortunately that would require a massive redesign. Firstly, you'd need hollow bones, as well as a very low body fat percentage. Decent chance boobs and butt don't grow hardly at all. Secondly, you'd need extremely strong chest muscles, which also still have to be light. And in order to provide enough energy for that, you'd need a larger and stronger heart with wider blood vessels. You'd also need to most likely quintuple your daily calorie intake. Possibly more depending on how often/when/ where you are flying. You would also want lungs with more surface area to absorb oxygen better, even at low altitudes. Especially at higher altitudes. That would likely mean a stronger diaphram. Stronger leg muscles for takeoff/landing. Better eyes for scoping out landing points and avoiding hazards. Most birds don't fly at night, so you may consider something akin to a cats eyes, or go the bat route with echolocation. And you're going to need a neutral remapping unless you just plan to replace your arms with the wings. Fortunately, outside of a higher energy cost, that last one might happen automatically, our brains are very plastic.
  
  Congratulations, you're a Harpy
  
  What a thorough breakdown haha
  Hmm... hollow bones might negate the need for gills.

I’d completely change everything and end up being a perpetually horny sex doll
- Mood

Smaller penis.
- Trade?
  
  I wouldn't wish this burden on anyone.
  
  It's not worth it my dude. Having a big ass dick is such a hassle.

No more garbage genetics please. EDS, pots, ADHD, probably autism (on the waiting list for testing), chronic stomach troubles, depression, anxiety, hormone imbalances, PCOS, chronic pain, inflammation, weak loose skin. All that can go fuck right off forever and die. Once my body actually worked, and looked like it wasn't cursed from the get go, I think I might actually like it. Mostly. Might like an androgynous unit for daily living and a feminine one for sexy times. Both thoroughly muscular of course. Gotta get that muscle tone. If we went for non human stuff on top of that, wings. Huge fuck off dragon wings. None of that Superman flying shit, I wanna FEEL the flight. Hell, I'd probably actually be able to enjoy doing any physical activity if my fucking body wasn't so, so breakable. Really I just wish I wasn't in so much pain.
- i was gonna say the same. just wanna be pain free😭
- Same, EDS and MCAS here. It's fairly well controlled nowadays but I'd love not having to adhere to huge life changes and needing to down 30 pills a day.

I’d get rid of the daily headaches that started around 12, all the random aches and pains I’ve had since my early 20s, and give myself better dental/oral genes so I didn’t end up with a cavity every damned year.
But the thing is those are changes I’d make with CRISPR, too, if we knew enough about genes to actually implement them. I’d do it in a heartbeat.
The aesthetics aren’t that important, tho I wouldn’t mind having thicker hair. My mom got a nose job and told me I have her old nose, and even that I’d keep.
I’d keep my adhd/autism/personality/appearance stuff, just want the rogue pain/deterioration genes fixed.
- https://shop.zollipops.com/products/new-zolli-gum-popz-40ct-display?variant=44151760158976
  Might help with the cavities, gl

Trans people have entered the chat 🙂

add tail
make cell cloning perfect
better error correction
add error messages other than "pain here figure it out"
do away with blood types
all colors are now customizable
- better error correction
  ECC is finally supported on the human platform lets go
- okay but have you considered that a tail would make most chairs incredibly uncomfortable for you? also do you really want to be able to fall on your ass and break your tail?
  I think we lost the tail for a reason.
  
  small price to pay for tail

As I'm trans I would change my body to align it with my gender identity. But I would love to start at an earlier age, I want the whole experience.

Never change a running system. Even small changes may have unexpected consequences, if the machine is as complex as our bodies...
- Counterpoint: the cable management of the human body is fucked
  
  90 millions years of evolution, or you: who knows better?
  It looks funny on pictures, but i bet everything would go south if you would straighten it out or reorganize it.
  If you don't know the intend why it looks as it currently looks i would not touch it. even if you know why it looks like that and you can somehow compensate those effects, i would not do this on my own body for the first time...
- Found the robot!
- How do you "reboot", medically-induced coma?
  
  you can not.
  just think about it: 80 to 100 years uptime, no reboot, no fall back system, not even a cold spare. and you want to change something while its running? madness! maybe if you are very lucky you may be able to replace some of the internal components.. but not to upgrade, only if your on the risk to loose the whole system...

Let's see here, I think I would implement...
better cable management for more efficient routing
A settings menu to enable things like "abundant food" mode, set body hair preferences, etc.
3 sets of teeth, make baby teeth last a little longer like my first one fell out when I was about 5 or 6, I'd start replacing them at like age 8, then the middle set would last until about 35 and then you get your last set.
Sperm valve with 2FA.
There's probably some upgrades we can make to the eyes.
Maybe some kind of heat pump system for urine, so if its very hot you can take a 150 degree piss and save some sweat, or if its very cold you can piss ice water to retain more heat.
build caliper functionality into my hands, so I can know the size of something just by holding it.
- 3 sets? I'll take a shark-like conveyor belt mouth of infinite teeth thank you
  
  I would settle for exchanging baby teeth a part of puberty. Just that extra few years of wear transferred from the second set to the first set I think would make a load of difference.
- I heard they recently developed a meta material that can passively convert approximately 1500 mm wavelengths down to 500 mm wavelengths.
  Incorporated into sunglasses they purport themselves as being non-powered night vision goggles.
  If they could incorporate that into contacts that would be fucking stellar.
  
  2FA HAHAHAHAHA

I would change everything in a heartbeat. You wouldn't even be able to finish explaining what the button did before I pressed it like 7 times lol
I absolutely loath who I am, physically and mentally.

Ever since I saw Ghost in the Shell, I've wanted a full on robotic body. I'd have a few different ones to suit my mood, too. Assuming I could afford it, anyway. Which since it's a dystopian nightmare, means I probably wouldn't be able to get anything other than the shitty tank-like body and only if my insurance covered it. 😮‍💨
Ever since I knew the weakness of my flesh, it has disgusted me...
- Unfortunately, your need for a new body is a pre-existing condition...

I’d keep my natural self.
I’ve been a software developer before. I know exactly how well my self-designed body would work.
- Makes me think of the book series Magic 2.0

Everyone would make changes you fucking snowflakes

become dragon
- derg

Well I'm beginning to bald... I want that full head of hair

I doubt I'd do anything major. Tweak my hair and eye color a bit. Predispose myself to a higher metabolism. Crab claw. Maybe add an inch, though I'm already pretty tall. Just simple confidence things, ya know?
- I can understand the rest but.. hair colour? You can just dye it, no need for genetics smh.
  
  Then you're always touching up the roots. I don't wanna completely change much, I wanna still be me.

My body's fucking terrible in a bunch of both objective and subjective ways that I can't do anything about, so yes, without a shadow of a doubt
- Have you tried drinking more water? Everybody says we're not drinking enough water. You're supposed to drink 42 gallons a day.
  
  I only drink 41 gallons a day and I died because of it, 42 is the bare minimum.

I don’t want to be human. I want to see gamma rays, I want to hear X-rays, and I want to smell dark matter. Do you see the absurdity of what I am? I can’t even express these things properly, because I have to — I have to conceptualize complex ideas in this stupid, limiting spoken language, but I know I want to reach out with something other than these prehensile paws, and feel the solar wind of a supernova flowing over me. I’m a machine, and I can know much more, I could experience so much more, but I’m trapped in this absurd body.
- Fracking toaster.
  
  Would you like any toast?

Some basic QOL-fixes such as asthma, eyesight and allergies. Fix the propensity for alzheimers and heart disease. After that, probably not much.

I'm not trans but It would be cool to have the body of the opposite sex.
Other then that, hell yeah, my genes suck and I would rather change them, fuck my soft shitty teeth and their slow agonizing journey to replacement

I'd give myself long curly hair (I'm bald), an 11 inch penis (currently only 10.5), and huge-ass angel wings (anyone that doesn't say huge-ass angel wings is a fuckin liar)
- You misspelled centimeters.
- I just need the angel wings, I already have a huge ass.
- That's way too much penis.
  
  Sometimes I fold mine in half to make it a more manageable 7 inches.
  
  I’m trying to remember what sci fi story that was, set in a future where genetic modifications were common and easy. The protagonist chose a “small” penis that was only 11-12”, as the biggest size that was fully functional and useable. It was kind of amusing the number of characters represented having vanity penises for appearance, even if they were too big to be fully functional or that a person they were attracted to might enjoy.
- If we're gonna go for full on fantasy bodies I'll take a dragon and we can have an epic battle in storm-rent skies as a metaphor for the struggle between good and evil.
  Then back to my place to calm down with some orange slices and some foetal spooning.

Get rid of hair on my: chest, shoulder, back, belly, ass, pubic region and armpit.
Add 7 cm in height.
Get rid of whatever genetic code is making me bald.
Sightly bigger ass.
Make both my eyes be the same height, instead of one slight above the other.
Get rid of my asthma.
Better eyesight.
Other than that it's pretty good.

I'd be a head shorter and make myself a cutie lol
I'd also want to get rid of my mental illnesses, and reset my weed tolerance. And, if possible, give myself an eye for art. I love to draw, but I sssuuucccckkkkk. And be smarter. Cause I have a severe case of the dumb.
I also would ask to not be asexual since it seems like everyone else is having a good time and I wanna be involved lol
- Weed tolerance varies over time and isn't something genetics couldn't change. Overall sensitivity maybe, but not tolerance.
  
  A girl can dream 😤
- Assuming you are in a position to do so safely (given the mental illness stuff), stop smoking/vaping/eating weed for 3 to 6 months and I can almost guarantee your tolerance will reset.
  
  But then I have to deal with the world sober for 3 6 months and I'm weak 😩
- I also would ask to not be asexual since it seems like everyone else is having a good time and I wanna be involved lol
  honestly, idk about you, i'm having a great time myself (though im also asexual) so that's probably the autism speaking lmao.
  
  Oh, I don't think being Ace equals a bad time, but I don't understand the concept of romance or sexual attraction on a personal level (I understand it in media). I feel like I'm missing out on that sort of stuff. But I'm otherwise happy with my cat 🙌🏾
  ~~I'm also gross and I think if I can't put out, no one is willing to hang out with me. I feel like if I at least put out I'd have something to offer~~

Endogenous vitamins.
- I'm not sure I understand.
  What would this do and how would it work?
  
  There are things like vitamin C and D your body has to get from somewhere else. Food, sunlight. Other animals don't have this issue. Every creature is built different, i just wish we were a little lower maintenance - or failing that, a good answer why it has to be this way.
  
  Infodump incoming:
  Amino acids are the basic building blocks of life. DNA encodes which animo acids to put together in which order, and when. Ribosomes read bits of RNA that was copied from DNA and match up amino acids. The different animo acids correspond to different three nucleotides combinations (the As, Cs, Gs, and Ts of DNA). The ribosome attaches each animo acid in a chain.
  When the amino acid chain detaches from the ribosome it folds into a protein. Different amino acids in different orders affect how the protein folds and what it becomes. Proteins are the structures and machinery of our cells.
  There are 20 amino acids we need to make the proteins we rely on. Our bodies can make some of them and some of them we can't. The ones our bodies can't make we have to get from our diet. Those ones are called vital amines, or vitamins for short.

estrogen from the get go, the rest can do whatever

I would dial the clock back 35 years and fix my teeth. A tail would be nice too and a sot pelt and maybe cat ears to go with the tail.
- Honestly, just go the full 9 lives and become a cat.

Nightmares beyond human comprehension like something out of a video game character creator with lots of liberty but even weirder and then probably the default settings again.

I'd remove my personal need for sleep, making it completely voluntary. But I wouldn't tell anyone about it. I could use an extra eight hours of free time every day.
- Ooh, I've always wanted this. I'm basically useless if I can't get 10 hours sleep

I'm in the process of getting all my teeth pulled for dentures.
I would make changes.

Besides the common stuff, I would add an extra set of arms. Who couldn't use 4 arms?
- GENERAL KENOBI!!
- Hell, might as well throw in a prehensile tail while we're at it

I'm honestly fine just being a brain in a jar. Give me access to books and film and video games and I don't think I need a body. Is there a name for what's wrong with me?
- IMO, there's nothing wrong with that. We ARE brains in a meat suit, with bits and pieces to support ourselves and increase chances of making new brains in meat suits.
  I do think that the inability to interact with anything tangible could get problematic, if unable to achieve similar simulation.

No body hair, and a higher pitch voice (because my singing is GOD AWFUL). That's all.
- Higher pitch is a short sighted adjustment. Wider range, so you can keep your lower registers.
  
  Why didn't I consider that? This is way better.
- I'm one of two women in my extended family that I know of who don't have any hair in our armpits, something I'm very thankful for.
  
  Unfortunately I do have armpit hair, and it's especially disgusting when I put deodorant. I want it gone for good.
  My family won't let me even though I'm an adult, they'll say "body hair is one of the qualities of men" even though I'm not gender conforming so I DON'T CARE.

Flesh is weak and biology sucks. I'm going to look like Atom Smasher.

I would have 4 arms
- Found Goro
  
  No no, Goro already has 4 arms
  
  Imagine goro giving handjobs to scorpian, sub-zero, liu kang, and johney cage at once!
  Just.....just put that mental image into your brain!

A past me would have 100% answered in the affirmative to change myself, but I've since then, I've gained some confidence and realized I'm not as horrifically ugly as I thought I was when I was younger. I just need to take care of myself. So other than the improvements you mentioned, I think I'd keep my natural self.
Actually, maybe make myself a little taller lol. That is a huge benefit both in personal lives and in business. So mostly natural self, but optimized and some increased height.

I wouldn’t mind a more tumor resistant body, this one is my ear canal is getting old.

Straighten my spine, make my chest muscles more symmetrical, straighten my hooked nose, make my beard not grow so far down my neck, correct my nearsightedness, fix my teeth.
If adding muscle is an option, I'll take a tight 6-pack, bigger biceps etc.
- So you want to transition from male to alpha male?
  
  I don't need other men to fear me, if that's what you mean.

would you change yourself from your genetic baseline
Yeah, I'd get rid of Celiac's for one. There are other potential inherited conditions that I'd enjoy not having as well (colorblindness, etc.).
I think I'd keep aphantasia since the opposite (and the inner monologue that is actually heard) seems like it would be hell.
The neurodivergence I'm not sure. I would probably want to keep it even though it does sometimes (often?) cause pain.
Physically, I'd repair a lot of damage done to my body (metal rods and plates hold together parts of me, among other things).

No body hair, straight hair, no scalp issues, and more feminine face.
If I can extend it to the brain, no family history of schizophrenia (I don't have it myself but it's the reason I intend to abstain from psychedelic drugs.)

I'd fix my kidney

I would flip my gender to female and ensure that my hair would match my Dad's hair color. Fix my chronic pain and IBS if I can, assuming those are genetic. Fix my singing voice. I ended up the shortest of my siblings, so double down on that and drop a few more inches off my height. I'm 5'8" now, so 5' even to 5'4" seem nice. My grandma's that height, so the code is in there somewhere.

I mean, is this easily repeatable? I can think of lots of things I would try out, but a much smaller number of viable options if it was a once in a lifetime thing.
- When I was considering this concept as part of a story I was working on I did consider the possibility that people would start out with having their ideal body but undoubtedly there would quickly grow a subculture of people who go for increasingly wild and interesting alterations, assuming that there are no side effects.
  So in my story world, I came up with the idea that you would be molecularly unstable for several years after a change and therefore not eligible to change yourself more than once every 7 years.

It would be foolish to not doing improvements. Unless you wanna die faster

I'd get rid of my chronic depression, genetically high cholesterol and bony hip impingement.
- I've got 2/3 of those (my cholesterol is fine). I just had the impingement fixed in March along with the labral tear it caused, and recovery has been annoying but worth it. I'm back to all my regular activities! If you're interested, I really recommend looking into surgery.
  
  I talked to a Dr about ten years ago and he seemed like I was wasting his time. He sent me to physical therapy and told me not to do the activities that cause pain (ok champ, I won't internally rotate my leg ever). So I was kinda jaded about it.
  I have an X-ray and an appointment with an Ortho on Monday! I am so excited. Ready to get my hips ground.
  What was the recovery like? I live in a 3rd story attic so I am a little worried I won't be able to walk

I'd rather have a dedicated, hidden tube for breathing so I can't choke on food. maybe have it filter pathogens and stuff too.
and the for plumbing, I'd like an extra pee hole dedicated for cumming and/or designer pee fighting.
- Yeah... Food is definitely what I'm worried about choking on the most...

I would like to have the enzymes that would allow me to drink alcohol. :(
- Alcohol sucks and makes people feel bad, you're not missing anything
  
  I agree. Everything people think it improves, it does not. Its an illusion

I would change. I've always loved character creation so I'd spend a good chunk of time designing just looks alone. Then, I'd focus on attributes and stats. What sort of person would I like to be? What do I want to be good at? What's the best build for the life I'm about to lead? Artist? Philanthropist? Genius? Smooth talker? Or a jack of all trades? Would I have perks that I can implement? Perfect pitch? Ambidextrous? Perfect eyesight? Double jointed? Heterochromia? A dude with a big penis? A chick with a large set of boobs? That's not to mention if I can include fictional things like super strength, the ability to fly, stretchiness, elf ears, cat ears, bunny ears, claws etc. So, to answer the question, yeah I'd change myself

242 comments