1 mo. ago • 90%

What's up with JD Vance and couches??

49 comments

There was a fake story that he wrote about humping a couch in his book, Hillbilly Elegy.

It's been completely debunked, but people still talk about it because it's funny.

47
- Theres more to it. AP published a fact check titled something like "No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch".
  
  Later they took this down because they were unable confirm he did not have sex with a couch, only that he did not say so in his book.
  
  As you can guess, this added a lot of fuel to the fire.
  
  47
- now there's a new one that it was in the first edition and removed from later editions. also made up as far as I can tell
  
  2
- because they are stupid
  
  Fixed that for you.
  
  -77
  
  It's because JD vance is a fucking weirdo. I didn't like pushing false stories about people, but he's just such a smarmy motherfucker it fits so well. He is a detestable person with detestable views.
  
  42
  
  It's not at all that. It's to reflect what the republicans have done for years now. But this story is funny and obviously fake so it's even more funny when you can see it actually getting under the skin of vance and other republicans. That's why it gets repeated so often. I understand this and I'm not even America
  
  Edit: too -> to (autocorrect)
  
  22
  
  Someone's mad that Trump has lost the mandate of heaven (shitposters)
  
  11
  
  The couch is a metaphor for American political discourse. JD, the crude white “Everyman” that has been rawdogging it a la Gingrich for the past several decades. This went over your head?
  
  5
  
  People would want to have a beer with me because I really like beer.
  
  4
I'd suggest reading this: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/jd-vance-couch-cushion-story-hoax

TL:DR Some Twitter user posted a made up story about JD Vance having sexual with a couch, "which led to news publications uncritically repeating the hoax story as fact."

27
- It's a bit more nuanced than that. Essentially AP fact checked it and instead of saying "Hillbilly Eulegy doesn't contain a story about Vance getting freaky with a couch" they used the headline "Vance never had relations with a couch"
  
  That's not something anyone could actually know for sure though, and they were called on it... and had to retract it...
  
  Which of course lead to people wondering why it was retracted, and it kinda snowballed. I don't think anybody seriously believes it, but as the story goes, there's no evidence he DIDN'T fuck a couch lol
  
  19
  
  Haha that's even better than if it were real 😆
  
  3
  
  akshually he fucked a glove stuck in the couch and technically speaking he fucked the glove and not the couch /s
  
  3
Here's a good write-up of it. It's pretty hilarious.

13
- Now we’ve reached the point where you have a faction of the internet believing Vance actually had sectional relations...
  
  Lol
  
  10
He pumps his dirty little dangler between the cushions.

10
Didn't Vance respond with something like "I've never had sex to completion with a couch" - or was that bullshit?

6
- To completion? What a coward, a real man would have stayed there and finished the job
  
  7
If the dude has any balls he'll release a home porn movie of him fucking a couch, just for the memes.

4
- I suppose it would be pretty on-brand for the party that's trying to completely outlaw porn to start producing their own super-weird porn.
  
  4
  
  Super on brand for them to do things they are trying to stop everyone else from doing.
  
  3
- Unfortunately, like, it would be so ballsy it would also get him in the joke. We would still call him a couch fucker, but it doesn't have the same amount of funny if he embraces it.
  
  What the fuck am I saying id lose my shit
  
  4
Dude is more satisfied by a couch than a woman, allegedly

2
- It was definitely alleged that Vance had frequent sexual contact with a couch using a rubber glove to collect and dispose of the evidence, yes.
  
  AP initially fact checked it as false, but had to retract the fact check because it broke their own rule that fact checks have to be known to be correct.
  
  2
The dude fucked a couch one time, that we heard about. You know it must be true since Jorkin Peanuts Vance denied it.

0
Are you American? If no, then you are dreadfully fortunate enough to not have to deal with it. Every election year is a bunch of apes flinging shit and this is just another turd in flight.

But if you still want the rundown it is "HA HA MAN FUK COUCH LELELELELELELELELE" and apparently it isn't even true. Credible, though, I know.

0

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