How do I install anti-virus on my shoes?

I have a pair of Linux ones, but I had to make them myself, and then everyone told me I was wearing the wrong brand, and that theirs is better. The Apple ones were even worse, though. I had to buy proprietary feet just to wear them, and when I broke my foot my doctor told me that he wasn't certified to repair it.

please say these aren't real

Infected with Windows.

I know dr sholes makes anti bacterial, maybe start there

You're right, it's too late now.

Don't mind the virus have you installed Microsoft edge? Microsoft edge has great features such as Microsoft syponing more data from your pc etc. Microsoft bullshit

Nice, Blue shoes.

Sanitizer

Simple, just visit shoebuntu.com

It’s already endpoint protection.

They already do. But every now and then when you try to put them on they won't lift off the floor because they're installing that update you've been putting off.