Jumpscare Headlines Rule
Jumpscare Headlines Rule
This man is old enough to have voted for Roosevelt in 1944! (I assume he voted Democrat)
We need to standardise the headline nomenclature from:
Jimmy Carter turns 100
to:
Happy Birthday Jimmy Carter; president turns 100
53Former US President Jimmy Carter d..oes turn 100 today
14Former US President Jimmy Carter peacefully passed gas in his home last night
11
Gotta get those panic clicks.
13
I can't believe he's still going! They put him in hospice 19 months ago and he's still ticking! Normally, they kick you out of hospice after a month or so if you haven't passed away yet, but he's a former president so I'm sure they're letting him stay as long as he needs.
31Pretty sure he’s sticking around out of pure spite to vote for Harris at this point
41He effectively said as much not too long ago, that he hopes to stay alive long enough to vote for her
19Pure spite is a hell of a drug
11
I feel like the reaper is really dragging his feet with this one.
Grim reaper looking at list in the morning whilst holding skull mug, wearing a death bathrobe, and sporting pink fuzzy slippers
"Okay let's just take a- AWWWW MAN. Really? Jimmy Carter? Uuuuugh this is gonna suck so much."
Procedes to pull out his iBone15 to call God
"Hey cough um god I think I got plague so I need to take take the next... 5 years off yea 5 years... No yea I tested positive. Yes I can send you a picture... No no don't worry I'm way ahead of schedule- get it, ahead? Baha yea I'll never forget Louis, what a laugh. Oh, no we don't need to send in a sub... No really... No, ESPECIALLY not Reagan. Sure. Yep I'll give a call to HR. Thanks. Bet."
Hangs up, calls HR
"Hey Lucifer I need to call out..."
19
Lmao exactly how I read it
5