2y ago

Autistic Literal Speech vs. NT seeking hidden meaning

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Alyssa on Instagram: "Literally what even are the neurotypicals doing - good communication seems to me like saying what you mean, right? 😅 Original: @venusfrogtrap Transcript below for second half of video (I'm sorry I forgot to add captions!!) So the other day at work at one of my many jobs (#adhd) I had a feedback session, and they told me my communication wasn’t clear (which I don’t think I’ve ever been told before). And the example they used was that I asked “what is so-and-so’s job?”. And she said, “I knew exactly what you meant — I knew that you meant she’s not pulling her weight, why is she on the team, and why hadn’t we fired her yet.” And I was like, hold up! I asked what her job was because I didn’t know what her job was. And I wanted you to tell me what her job was. And she said, that wasn’t clear, and you should give more context when you ask a question. So I was like, ok — I don’t know what her job is… What is her job? #audhd #actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #feedback #adhdwork #healthycommunication"

Instagram reel transcript: "So you know how autistic people just talk and we literally mean like exactly what we say?"

"So like I realized that when I'm talking to a neurotypical person, even when I'm saying exactly what I'm saying, they're looking for like, the meeting underneath it, which is nothing."

"So the other day at work...I had a feedback session and one of the things they told me was that my communication wasn't clear... And their example was I asked 'What is so-and-so's job?' And she said, 'I knew exactly what you meant. I knew that you meant, 'She's not pulling her weight. Why is she on the team? Why haven't you fired her yet?"

"And I was like, hold up. I asked about her job was because I didn't know what her job was and I wanted you to tell me what her job was. And she was like, 'Oh. Well, that wasn't clear and you should really give more context when you ask a question.' And I was like, 'Okay..?? so...'I don't know what her job is...What is.. her.. job?"

4 comments

“Say what you mean and mean what you say”. Why is that so difficult for normies to understand?
While more manageable by NT people, I think this is clearly a toxic workplace where people are taught to fear their work can't stand up to scrutiny. So anything that even counts as looking directly at their work is a threat, and any communication must be scrutinized for hidden threats.
Literally what even are the neurotypicals doing
Conversational implicatures. It's basically the reason why plenty people say something, when they mean something else.
However what that coworker is doing is a bit beyond conversational implicatures, she's reading too much into what Alyssa said. That's clear because she then complained that Alyssa didn't give her enough context - in other words, there was no context to implicate anything, and yet she still saw an implicature there. I call this a "ghost" implicature, dunno if there's some actual name for that. But to keep it short, the coworker is likely the one to blame for the miscommunication, not Alyssa herself.
- Excellent and clearly stated. Thank you for this new terminology and reference point about conversations!