cross-posted from: https://lemmy.autism.place/post/206166

> As you may know we have launched our own community space dedicated to providing a safe and welcoming environment for autistic individuals. After a long journey of searching for a place to truly belong, I believe we have the opportunity to create something special together. Let's work towards building a community that is as inclusive and horizontally organized as possible, but we can't do it without your support. > > Share your skills and ideas in the comments below, and if they align with our community values, we'll invite you to join our collaboration chat to discuss how you can contribute further. You can also help by staying active, spreading the word, and donating to keep our server running smoothly. Together, we can build a space where autistic people feel welcome and valued!

This is a reminder that you must be at least 18 years old to access Lemmy World per their Terms of Service (ToS). Additionally, as moderators of this community, we are obliged to report violations of this rule, so we will have to report it to the admin team if a user in this community explicitly identifies as younger than 18 years old.

We have reached out to the admins requesting for a modification to the rules if !autism@lemmy.world were to adjust its rules to accommodate the needs of 16 and 17 year-olds. While they were understanding, it seems that the necessary changes are not possible at the moment. Therefore, unless the ToS change, if anyone identifies themselves as younger than 18 years old on !autism@lemmy.world, we will have to report your account. We would hate for someone to get invested in this community, develop a bond, and then have it suddenly taken away. At the same time, we don’t want to jeopardize it by helping users violate terms and ultimately the trust we have with the admin team.

We appreciate your understanding and compliance with this matter.

!autism@lemmy.world Mods

Hi, I'm flying home for my birthday (moved out of state for work, then lost my job, and been unemployed for 4 months). My mom asked what I would like her to make me for my birthday dinner, and I have no clue what to ask for. I'm just at a loss because I don't know what I like. I'm not picky, but if left to my own devices would eat mueslix for months at a time. I hate feeling attention, and worst of all pity... But that is the primary feeling when I return to my mothers home. I feel lost and trapped, as more if my life falls through my fingers like a hand desperately grasping into dry sand. Everything feels wrong and I hate that I agreed to come home at all.

Like the title says, recovery from alcoholism has been pretty rough. I fucking love drinking, but the amount of times it's gotten me in bad spot is crazy. I haven't been formally diagnosed, but my last therapist was going to refer me because I have several traits of ASD ("high-functioning").

I just can't stand being around people. Like I just can't think around them because the sounds they make and the things they talk about drive me up the wall. Also the fact that "isolation" is a no no in these places, it's all about "community", so having time to myself to gather my sanity is hard to come by.

Not to mention the anxiety of having to talk about myself.

It's forced me to leave programs time after time and now it's all starting to make sense. I know that I can't blame all my problems on ASD (especially if I haven't even been given the diagnosis by someone qualified, and I'm sorry if this offends anyone) and I know that this 100% is on me and not everyone else.

I'm running out of options and I'm starting to think that just living on the street is my only option.

Edit: Also lately, I've been dabbling with methamphetamine. It's like everything I don't want to do is now possible.

Hi everyone.

I was diagnosed with high-functioning autism at age 3. I am smart, shy, kind, and nice. Many times, people take advantage of me. I think this caused me to be bullied in high school. As the autistic brain is wired differently, it is impossible for me to fit into the mostly neurotypical (NT) world. I cannot make any NT friends as they all think I am 'weird' or 'odd'. All the NT social skills are very hard for me to learn. However, when I come on autism forums such as this one, I feel like I am welcomed, accepted, and understood. I feel that with time, I might make friends on this forum.

I have some special interests such as electricity (plugs, voltages, electrical sockets/outlets), the battery health of electronic devices, and time (clocks, time zones). They are so intense that they are the only thing I think and talk about.

Hopefully I will make some friends on this forum.

Nice to meet you all!

Yours Truly,

SRSAutistic

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.autism.place/post/311746

> Recent in this question is however you define it 🙂

I need headphones that only an audiophile would love. I practically LIVE in my headphones and almost never take em off. I also dont wanna spend heaping tons of money on em tho ;w; maybe a budget of like- 100-200 I guess... I dunno what do yall recommend?

I know I can over share. I know I say things way too "deep" for neutrotypicals. I know how I take small talk into big talk with just one sentence. What are ways that you keep yourself aware in conversation to just be casual. I imagine something small to fidget with that isn't obvious and I can use to keep me centered on being not so outright. Obviously I don't like wearing anything but maybe something like a normal but moving or spinning finger ring would help, I can always take it off.

Is this something you guys experience, maybe recognize now, or have realized this behavior and have some mechanism to stay "normal"?

It makes me want to crawl in a hole and never speak to anyone again.

i genuinely feel like my entire life and mindset have done a... at least a 90 by now, by somehow, somehow getting this hail mary pass off and setting this up. i can't believe this is real life it's very bizarre, i'm just shaking with anxiety and energy

i just feel like she'll hate me upon first sight (this was thru an app) for some reason, she'll sense the autism, she'll know i'm off and the next hour will be awkward and she'll politely say goodbye.

i mean, alternatively, it could go well, she could be cool. she seems cool which i suppose is why i did this. what is happening i cannot believe these are things that are going on in my life i feel like i was just in a major major hitting slump for 10 years, strikeout after strikeout

and then also what if she ghosts me or stands me up like in the films. what then? add it to the list of failures and try to rebuild my self image?

aghufasdf

I just really hate how my friends label me as a child, they are not 100% NT but way less autistic than me, yesterday she admitted they viewed me as a child, at first she stated that she viewed all of her peers as children since she felt she had more lived experience which is fine she can do whatever she wants. but then we met a new friend who she took a liking to and who she views as an adult, and recently on the way home our friend group got to talking about something and I asked something jokingly. She said rather seriously "Sky, there are some things that stay between adults" I reply I am legitimately a year older than you, she then said rather seriously not in any of the ways that matter. In general, there have been plenty of other times I felt like I was treated as a child, and generally, she and others have capped the level of closeness they have with me to protect me, which in practice only creates an environment where I do not have any close friends at all, I legit usually sob to myself in my room when and think about killing myself. I also understand I am a failure by most traditional metrics, no job, no car, no place, I have been trying to get a job for over 8 months, I wrecked my car 6 months ago, but I am not a fucking child.

I regularly feel like people pretend to be interested in what I am saying since I am being viewed a child and most people do not want to be mean to a child, I just feel like such a loser in general and I really hate the fact I am autistic which is 100% why this keeps happening.

I have Special Interests (pixel-perfect UIs, the overall 'feel' of software, old computers, obsolete media like floppies, useless machines, etc.) that my brain finds extremely stimulating and rewarding and I'm able to devote hours to creating things that scratch these itches. Unfortunately neither the job market, nor anyone else actually, sees beauty there where I see it and so they will not value it (that includes financially). Meanwhile, there are other things like machine learning or cell biology that my brain is also very well equipped for but I don't spend time learning them because they don't draw me to them the way my SIs do (I have ADHD so the stimulation level of activities is quite decisive). This is a handicap because it leaves me fixated on several irrelevant things which I did not choose. How do you guys deal with this?

I'm looking for sleeping tricks and thought some other people here might have similar issues or good tricks. Can be anything from getting the motivation to go to sleep to actually tricks to falling asleep.

My current trickbook is basically this:

Podcasts, but it has to be in some goldilocks zone of interesting to enough to keep attention but not too good so it gets exciting.

I've also done meditation in bed when falling asleep that tends to work.

Consistent routine is good. Shower, brush teeth, lights off, episode, sleep.

I'm curious to see what other autistic people are working with here.

Mostly asking for other people on the spectrum, but allistics are free to comment also.

Like - what do I write in the card? What the hell do I get them? They come up so quickly as well.

Mine in meme format

!

!

!

Link to meme creator for convenience.

I don't stutter or fuck up my speech over a text.

cross-posted from: https://lemy.lol/post/30077456

> Stolen from Mastodon.

Brain enlargement may be linked to symptom severity in kids with autism spectrum disorder

Specifically, social and communication symptoms appear to be more severe in children who display brain overgrowth on MRI scans. Experts believe this overgrowth may be associated with alterations in the activity of the Ndel1 enzyme, which is related to embryonic neuron differentiation and migration.

Study: https://molecularautism.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13229-024-00602-8

For some reason I find vests, and specifically down vests very comfortable. I know that some of you have problems with polyester though, so I'd love to hear about your comfy clothes! (I kinda wanna test out some new stuff)

cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/24388390

> Hi everyone, > > I’m reaching out to ask for advice and insights on how you manage emotional dysregulation. Lately, I’ve been finding it challenging to handle intense emotions, especially when they seem to come out of nowhere or are triggered by small things. > > I know this is something that many people in the AuDHD community experience, so I’d love to hear about any strategies, tools, or practices that have worked for you. Whether it’s specific techniques, coping mechanisms, or lifestyle changes, I’m open to anything that might help. > > Thank you in advance for your support and for sharing your experiences. I really appreciate hearing from others who understand what this is like. > > Looking forward to hearing from you!

I'm the father of a 6 year old boy diagnosed with autism when he was 4. He's considered non verbal although he has some stock phrases and sounds he uses daily.

The thing is I'm worried if I've made the right decisions and I'm worried about his future.

Will he ever talk more? Will he do well in mainstream school? Will he be OK?

I'd be interested in hearing your experiences especially if you started as non verbal.

Did it get easier for you? When did you start talking more?

Today I went to buy clothes. And I found one!

I also found a store where they did an effort on the fitting rooms (two mirrors, large enough bench). But more interesting a wheel to dim lights. And I could dim it enough to a comfortable level.

I'm a grown-ass adult, and was diagnosed as being on the spectrum quite late; Aspergers wasn't even a valid diagnosis until after I had graduated from high school.

So, haven't really had a lot of support.

Just wanted to check in with other people - what does a meltdown mean for you, in terms of communicating? When I'm feeling emotionally overwhelmed, I have words in my head, but I can get them out of my mouth. If I try to write things down, I either have the same block, or I'll write, erase, re-write, erase again, and repeat tens of times until I give up.

I recently conmented on a meme with a little personal experience and would like to know what you fine peoples take is?

Thanks!

(Link on top)

Am I crazy to assume that, if I tell one person but don't specify any particular privacy settings, they would leave it to me to decide when I disclose it to others?

I guess I should get specific here. I was officially diagnosed a couple of weeks ago, as having autism spectrum disorder level 1. I have so far only told my mom, who I live with, and my best friend, who I suspect is also autistic. Today, I overheard my mom talking loudly on a video call to my brother and his wife, catching up and sharing their latest news. Apparently her latest news included the fact that I have been diagnosed with ASD. I hadn't yet decided how to go about having that conversation with my brother, and now I'm pretty upset that I don't get to make that decision. While I'm venting, she also mentioned that I've been less conversational lately, which she attributes to my diagnosis and to me no longer wanting to make the effort necessary to talk to neurotypical people (in reality, my chronic fatigue has been playing up lately, which always leaves me with less energy for conversation - she knows my chronic fatigue has been playing up lately, but apparently thinks I'm just choosing not to bother).

Am I crazy to think she was way out of line to share my diagnosis with someone without running it by me?

I'm also not sure how to move forward with this information in any way without it seeming like I was eavesdropping - which I wasn't intentionally doing, she was in the living room / kitchen area, I was heading down there to make myself a cup of tea (which I do every night at that time, in the room that she was talking in) and froze halfway down the hallway when I heard her sharing my confidential information. I didn't know how to deal with the situation so I just stood there for a bit and then returned to my room without making the cup of tea. If she had directly told me that she had told my brother about my diagnosis, or that she was bothered by me being less conversational, it would give me an opportunity to provide input on these matters, but as it is I don't feel comfortable raising the subject, or noticeably increasing my level of masking (to accomodate her apparent discomfort with me not doing so), without the eavesdropping issue potentially becoming part of the conversation and complicating matters.

I'm also bothered because I have a tradition of once a year going to stay with my best friend for a while, and typically stop off with my brother for a few days when I pass through his city. Last year unexpected travel complications left me burnt out, so when I made the bookings a couple of months back for this year's trip, I made it as simple as possible, including skipping the stay with my brother. I haven't yet told him, and now I'm worried that he's going to take it as me no longer socializing with neurotypical family members (even though the arrangement was made before my diagnosis). The whole thing is complicated and no longer under my control because my mother decided to share my diagnosis and her thoughts about my behavior behind my back.

Anyway, I guess I'm venting, and looking for input on whether this is as infuriating as it seems, and maybe advice on how to approach the situation.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.autism.place/post/236635

> I got back into dancing salsa and bachata (colloquially known as Latin dance) a few months ago. Additionally, I've been trying to find other autistic people to socialize with, but as you might hypothesize, there aren't many of us in that community. It's a bit loud, socially complex, and generally overwhelming. Regardless, I ultimately like it so I'm trying to make it work. > > In the past month, I've spotted two other auties. One was a girl I met in class. In case you aren't familiar with salsa/bachata dance classes, they are setup so that we rotate partners frequently...like every few minutes. As a girl I had never met came up to me during one of the rotations, she said, "I like your glasses," while looking at them and tapping on hers. I responded that I liked hers too. They were a bright semi-translucent mid-dark blue (a little 🤏 darker than this) and slightly shaped like that 70s cat eye style. She smile and thanked me in a way that seemed to convey we both understood each other. Then, we practiced the pattern respectfully without that invasive eye contact that most people use. She was generally quiet throughout the rest of the class. I've seen her a few times in other classes since, and everything lines up. Yesterday, I went to a social which is an unstructured dance practice. Basically, it's a event that plays loud music with the understanding that people are there to learn to dance and patrons are expected to dance with strangers non-judgmentally. During one of my noise breaks outside, I saw her in her car by herself. When I left about 30 mins later, I saw her in her car again. I plan on reaching out to her in a friendly way next time I get a chance to help her feel welcomed and relaxed. Probably will say something like, "I saw you in your car at that social. I do that too! I have to take breaks because it's too loud and chaotic for me sometimes," or something to that effect. > > Two days ago, I attended a chacha dance workshop. There was a guy there that was evidently unique. Unique voice. Unique attire. Definitely has his own way of thinking. During class, it's obvious he is studying the dance. What I mean is that it seems to me that most people try to imitate the teacher and through that, they usually learn to repeat the moves. This guy was analyzing to deeply understand it (ohhh! Now I get why people say that about me sometimes!!🤯). He asked several unconventional questions, and in response to one of them, the teacher said, "I like your attention to detail." When I would glance at him as I do everyone, I would notice that he seemed to me that was checked out a few times. Most people seem generally focused on what everyone else is focused on or something else social like another person. This guy looked like he was possibly thinking about Aristotle, differential equations, dinner, or his shopping list. It's as if his eyes were disconnected from his brain. He did not seem present in the moment. After the class, there was a social. During a few of my noise breaks, I saw him outside too. In the first one, he mentioned he had taken a few breaks already because it was too loud. I had recently returned from taking a walk around the shopping center's parking lot. So I told him that I did that and that once I got around a store across the lot, the noise was much more tolerable. He basically said ok, then went inside ~30 secs later. A while after that, I go outside for another break and I catch him returning from the store area I had mentioned. This guy was also at the same social I was at where I saw the other girls in the car. I saw him sitting down by himself with a bottle of water and looking through everyone as if he were completely not present again, taking a personal 5 minute break by checking out. This social was basically the following meme in real life: > > ! > > I have my suspicions of a few other regulars, but they aren't definitive like the two I mentioned above. Also, since I'm ADHD too, it's hard for me to differentiate between the three (autism, ADHD, and AuDHD) sometimes, so I can miscategorize when the presentation is impure. > > Regardless, we're everywhere! It's nice to see us in places representing and taking care of each other in our own way. It's also nice to know I'm not alone there, and feel validated that we can be in dance communities too. And of course, it's helpful to see what we look like from the outside to others because just like the guy was deeply studying the dance pattern, I am deeply studying the entire environment. > > If you're out there putting yourself in environments that are unusual for us, thank you! There might be another one of us there that has caught on to you and appreciates your presence ❤️

Plug for the instance dedicated to autism: !autismplace@lemmy.autism.place. Check out the current communities at https://lemmy.autism.place/communities

Sooooo. I've been circling this for a little. I love a good quadrant of the people I have met on here. You've had such wonderful energy and have just been some real dope ass folks. Some I don't know how to explain it. The meat of the being that I absolutely love about humans. That zhing, the soulful bits you know? But I intentionally took a fat step back from the internet as a whole because I actually dislike the way it's gone. I think we're using it as a dick rag so to speak, and taking all our frustrations and throwing them around like shit. I equally dislike what I considering bullying, which basically means sitting around and laughing at someone. As I know we've all been there, but at the end of the day I don't think promoting it in any form is really doing anything but helping it spread as a form of communication as a whole.

Reason why I am writing this? Made some love art, made some cool convos - and have overall been having a solid time. Personally don't like weed, apparently can't express that online. But that's also part of the issue. See, I get that life can't be one single way. I think all of us know that. Hell there's enough variety between all of us alone to get that. But I also don't think that there really is anywhere online currently that offers people to have multiple opinions (which is what they are) and not be seen as some kind of "flame war" or something. Which has never been my intention. I just want to express myself, because I am a human being and this is a space to do that.

But that's all to say, that when I found this PieFed I really though that I finally found a place which promoted conversation, thought, and gave you the occasional interesting tidbit or cool jam. But it seems that I was wrong, it feels more like I have entered the echo chamber that I have always sort of stood against but equally - have felt absolutely uncomfortable around as a whole. Not to add the hippie-dippie beliefs of people's energy sticking to your being like might or muck. And while I do not prescribe to toxic positivity, I think a little effort is due to one another (as a whole) because we're in dire times and we need to uplift one another or sink as a group.

But eh, this is all to say that I have been rapidly dabbling with the idea of deleting my account. Just sort of leaving the system and going back to my relatively quite life. It makes me sad in a way though, because I have had so much fun talking with you guys. As a whole, I mean I think you guys are just stellar. And it bums me out. But I also think, there's really no point in keeping something that I have seen things I expressly dislike (I suppose habits is how I'll express it). But equally, if I were being honest - and this is going to sound...heterophobic/racist I guess? I don't go out of my way to talk with white people and I don't go out of my way to talk with straight folks and I think the general consensus is that the internet is probably majority white and heterosexual. Which might be why I myself am not totally "feeling it" in the first place. But also just being a weirdo you never really have any place in life - you just don't. No matter how hard you try, you always stick out like a sore thumb. That's the reality of the matter.

And I apologize if I have rubbed some the wrong way in posting this, but could someone ultimately give me some...guidance on the matter? Or just tell my ass to press the delete button. Cause like I said, I've met some fine folk on here, but damned if there aren't some real pecker woods that remind me of why I don't really "do" the internet as a whole.

Eh, end rant. Halp?

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.autism.place/post/222147

> I'm excited to see what everyone else's said, if we have a lot in common, and if some of us have some funny stuff too. > > Also, promoting !autism@lemmy.autism.place

cross-posted from: https://lemmit.online/post/3679280

> ##### This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot. > The original was posted on /r/dataisbeautiful by /u/xtaberry on 2024-08-14 22:27:25+00:00.

I used to be a picky eater, then as an adult i realized its not the ingredients themselves but a mix of all kinds of sensory input.

There are a lot of tastes that are nice in small amounts but i cant have em full on.

Onions went from hated to favorite after i learned this.

If you have foods you never liked, give em a chance in a completely different format and amount

For a period of three hours, it featured no loud noises nor rapid flashing lights so that people living with a variety of mental well-being disabilities, such as anxiety, could also enjoy the event.

I see this as a very welcome thing for this community!

Where do you draw the line on divergence?

Hey there! Tell us what you like! Share your interests, you might find some other buddies who share interests with you. Either way, think of this as sort of a show and tell. Share as much as you'd like. Feel free to show/link some examples if you'd like. Let's have fun with it =)!

Edit: I was as to negotiate with the ones organizing the meeting to schedule for another day. I may have been panicked because I stopped Prozac for a while. I'm really sorry for lashing out like that, and thank you for your understanding.

I'm trying to get my diagnosis. Due to my parents not accepting me receiving mental healthcare, I had to do everything in secret.

It made my life so much easier when I finally got Prozac. I could finally sleep. Little to no obsessions or intrusive thoughts. I also stopped having pica.

But I can't get a diagnosis in most places without involving my parents. Until I found someone who could give me one.

Thing is, if I miss tomorrow's appointment, I can no longer have another chance at it. The health system is clogged and all.

I had everything planned out. Told them I was going out and all. But now, I can't, because our basement got flooded and I have to stay in order to help them.

I know this is what I get for wanting the best of two worlds: my parents' support and getting behind their backs. But I just didn't want to keep suffering anymore. I just want it all to stop.

Just had to out this somewhere and this is probably the most safe space for it.

I am an ultra left anarchist so i support any progress shift in us political polls and i do get it.

I dont and wont ask people to stop using effective political memes. But whenever i see a top comment labeled these bad people as weird, i feel like i too would not be accepted, even if i know thats not what its about.

Sorry.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.autism.place/post/187191

> Best autism experience (what I call reality) video/interactive simulation I've ever seen. Especially ~2:50 with that lady calling you weird and the silverware dropsztztzt🫨😵‍💫😫. I was already giving a fake smile when that happened. Whoever made this knows!

We talked stuff that works you up, how about things that you do to calm down? What techniques, activities, mantras, stims, etc. do you do to keep yourself comfortable and safe? Feel free to share what you'd like - and something kinda cool is that you might end up helping someone else down the line.