The Onion takes the shot and hits hard.

All he needs to do is retire, kick back in a recliner, and shut the fuck up. As long as he stays in politics, though, he’s fair game. His hatred has been eating away at him for too long. He should cut his losses.

I'm honestly a little torn on this because I generally love The Onion and hate Mitch McConnell, but poking fun at what very likely could be a medical issue seems kind of low.