9/10 times I am dreaming about either:
- Childhood and teenage loves (wishful thinking, made up scenarios).
- Arguing with my abusive parents.
- Fighting for myself with classmates or just school people/trying to protect myself.
- Lecturing people or speaking up for myself.
- Being humiliated in some way.
- Trying to figure out ways and using dreams to solve my IRL problems.
- Being assaulted by my old teachers.
- Living through my fears in terms of for example failing maths in highschool, while I finished with a grade 3 (out of 5).
- Different types of heroic (ik it sounds lame) ways of dying, implying that I am now gone in a worthy way.
Or a combination of some of these.
I had several nightmare periods (which seems to be gone by now apparently, with the "healing" of time) years back, they were horrible, you can imagine it in a similar fashion to what you may see in the O.A. series, if any of you are familiar with that. My phycologist couldn't do shit about my case back then.
I also have a physical sensation, which is rarer by now and it's not necessarily tied to an equivalent visual in the dreams. It's that I'm falling. Like when we still had snow and climate change wasn't making winter the way they are currently, we were sledging down big hills and there was a bump in the way, which we purposefully used to jump over with the sledge thanks to the high speed we were reaching. And that short flying feeling, that time in the air, the falling, I relieve that so many times, however in the dreams instead of quickly landing, I always see a big dip in the hill, like the RedBull ski event type bs and I just fall into a idek 40-50 meter flight. Whatever, this always ends up in me getting up in the bed, sweaty, gasping for air, feeling like something heave came off of my chest. This happens in other scenarios too, like jumping off of a bridge, being pushed over windows, etc. FYI I love heights IRL, so this is about some trauma, or medical condition, fuck knows.