Look away, Samwise

A loincloth does typically go between the legs, kind of like a traditional diaper. It's not just two flaps.

Inspect for yourself.

It's an untested theory, but I'm willing to bet that it just falls off when you hit 500 years old or so.

What was the damage?? Other than the psychic damage from reading it

IIRC in the Finnish tv movie we get to see Gollum's starfish