Anyone who thinks it's helpful to say to someone with depression "don't be sad" is an idiot. You have to say "don't be depressed"
14Have you tried NOT being depressed?
10Depends on who you ask.
Me? Yes, I've tried many times. It doesn't matter, nothing will change.
My few friends? He tries but focuses on the wrong things.
My family? He doesn't try.
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For anyone who is interested in how it actually feels. Or at least felt for me. One day I noticed I haven't had a really bad day in a while. It kind of crept up on me as slow and gradual change. That's it.
Also fuck depression.
10We made it, depression is no more
6We did it, Lemmy!!
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Why so glum, sugar plum?
6Permanently Deleted
14You sound more Indigenous than Buffy St Marie
As an Indigenous person who grew up in northern Ontario ... this was basically my life and often it still feels like this. But like you say, you keep soldiering on.
Keep working, keep doing things, keep being nice, keep being kind, keep staying busy - ignore the world, ignore what they say, ignore what they do - stay away from negativity, stay away from dark people - move towards light, move towards happiness, move towards being good - laugh at the world, laugh at your enemies, laugh at yourself, laugh with your friends.
And when you're out in the wilderness, near a park or just outside your home ... look for the biggest tree you can find and wrap your arms around it, hold on it and hang on and let it's energy mesh with yours. The grandfather tree has seen more life than you and I ever will and will most likely live longer than us. It's a lesson I was taught by my elders long ago. When you are lost, sad, unhappy and can't find your way home ... hold onto a grandfather tree, a being rooted to the ground, that touches the sky, lives without malice, gives shelter to others and watches the world with quiet empathy. He will give you some of its life and a moment to find your way back to something good.
6I've had different traumas (career and relationship related), I don't think they're as bad as yours but I completely understand what you're going through. I've been on a few medications and therapies but the emptiness and lack of motivation is always there. After a certain amount of trauma I just don't see how you move forward without the universe making serious amends, like maybe a streak of really good luck. I actually just sit around waiting for a UBI program to exist and jumpstart my life, because my brain doesn't work well enough to go back to my old routine dealing with the same terrible people.
4The most unhelpful thing I've heard someone say was "life isn't fair to anyone, so just own it". Yeah, thanks champ and fuck off.
3That's just horrible. And you're right, most people today have little empathy for anyone else. But it's terrible when you're own family is among those without the intelligence and innate goodness to care about you as a human being. Your sexuality is just a preference, not a definition of everything you are. I'm gay myself and was always bullied in school (long before I was gay or anything else) and have suffered my fair share of slings and arrows.
But I never ever felt bad about being gay - it's a gift and a blessing, and my family at least were supportive - or maybe just well-educated enough to know that someone's sexuality is not anyone else's business to worry over.
If you're tired all the time, that's one of the big red flags for major depression. And it sounds like you're doing everything to make it worse. Why seek out people who hate you - they're gonna be around no matter what. What you really need is to seek out people like you who are encouraging and supportive. And you need to god-damn well wake and stop being a jerk to yourself.
Sorry but it has to be said. You have to let yourself learn how to be happy. Being gay is not only NOT some kind of punishment, it is most definitely NOT anything to feel guilty about. In fact, I think of it as a superpower, and it is one reason I wake up smiling every day.
I haven't had the same setbacks you've had, but I've been through major bipolar episodes, (unrelated to sexuality), and I know how tough it can be to let those inner judges go, but you have to do it to improve your life. You have to fire those assholes and kick them out to the curb.
2Buy weed
Trust me bro
2Hay, could you take a look through my comment history and see if I’m someone you’d want to talk to? I apologize for the snarky bits and the one liners.
You mentioned doing a discord to watch on that Bjork mushroom movie, which unfortunately is only in theaters right now.
Anyway, take a look at the kinds of things I write and hit me up if you want to talk.
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I never got as bad as wanting to not be alive but a couple panic attacks made me suck it up and get the wheels rolling on seeing a Psych and getting meds. ADHD since childhood didn't help but the meds sure as fuck do. It sucks that you see what you're supposed to be doing but our social safety nets sucks so much, especially as adults, that you can't use them.
Finding insurance and a stable job can go a long way. Without them, it can be tough out of pocket. Finding the right combo of meds was what I knew I needed and ended up doing exactly what I needed them to. God damn they're expensive though. Mostly the stimulants and anti-drinking pills (Naltrexone FTW!) though.
Edit: Honestly just being tired all the time, especially in the mornings, was one of the worst parts. My depression showing up as numbness was handy as a Stoic, but life is better when you feel shit appropriately.
Kinda rambling, but keep on keeping on.
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Great, with even depression gone I'm now truly all alone.
2There, there little bear
2I only see people with depression complain about what other people say. But what are they supposed to say? If you want someone to say something that is helpful talk to a professional and dont complain when other people dont magically cure your depression with a few words
-5There's plenty to say if you are actually interested and read up on it.
The point isn't always to say "helpful" things like you think of them. They are more likely to be harmful. Depression can't be solved by a sentence. Neither can it be solved by "talking to a professional". It's a long and arduous process. Also depression isn't about being "sad" even. It's a very misunderstood disorder.
5Except for when douchebags tell us to just feel better. It's not your place to say anything unless you are a medical professional.
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