2mo ago

Putin facing new 'invasion' as 1m-strong antelope swarm destroys Russia's crops

www.dailystar.co.uk

47 comments

Are you sure this is not The Onion?
- David Attenborough: here we see the majestic Long Horned Steppe Gonzo placidly grazing.
  
  Step gonzo, what are you doooooiiiiiiing?
I think invasion is too strong a term. Maybe, a special operation of antelopes?
Sounds like they are about to join Australia in loosing a war to animals.
- Yeah too loose and they'll slip right in
  
  So you best lube up and brace yourself.
Australia lost to the emus Now russia is facing the antelopes.
- In a two front war. Rest in piss.
1 meter strong 💪📏
Remind me. Antelopes: Delicious or nah?
- Pretty much all meat is delicious cooked right.
  
  Yes officer, this person right here
  
  Except moles. Apparently they taste like shit however you cook em.
  
  EXCUSE-ME?!?!!
- Probably delicious when cooked right. Never had antelope, but reindeer and moose are probably in the same pallpark and those are both good.
One day Oversimplified will cover this on youtube. Just like the pig war and the emu war.
And he'll release it right after he covers vietnam. Which will be in approximately 90 years.
He should consider himself lucky. Next time, it’s the rabbits. Ask Napoleon.
- https://www.historyanswers.co.uk/people-politics/napoleons-battle-against-rabbits/
  hahahhahahahahaha
  
  Adding this to the time travel list.
  
  Why did he run? That's like the epitome of fluffy awwww
Everything is going according to plan!
- Year 3 of the 3 day special military operation.
My contributions to saiga conservation years ago have paid off.
The Daily Star is really more entertaining semi-fiction than news, but this is still Onion-worthy.
- Somewhat less tabloid-y https://www.reuters.com/business/environment/russian-farmers-appeal-putin-help-against-antelope-invasion-2025-06-03/
A lot of antelopes about to be mysteriously pushed out windows.
Guy can’t handle a dozen people handy with steak knives.
This is needed here:
https://youtu.be/zQUw9kDXB3k
Also, discouraging words are seldom heard there, and in the daytime the skies are cloudless.
Nature bats last.
The previous one he felt, but took for a turd

47 comments