Not The Onion
We've been getting some weird posts lately that... Well, they're not making me think it's gotta be an Onion headline, that's for sure.
So just a little refresher. Posts should be:
- Links to news stories from…
- …credible sources, with…
- …their original headlines, that…
- …would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
If it's not Onion-y, it doesn't belong here. Bizarre, horrific, and violent news can be here if the headline reads like something out of The Onion, but if it doesn't, it's going away. And if there's too much non-Onion-like content from an account, that account is going away, too.
If you're not sure whether the real news headline you've found is like The Onion, here's a few sample Onion headlines from today:
- "Visiting Friend Pleasantly Surprised By City’s Open Hostility Toward Homeless People"
- "Increasingly Powerful Trans Person Capable Of Using Every Single Bathroom At Once"
- "Man Feels Like Bystanders Are Arguing For Him To Put Gun Down In Bad Faith"
- "Wally The Emotional Support Alligator Went To See The Phillies"
- ‘New York Times’ Issues Apology For Reporting Palestinian Deaths
See? Find headlines from real news outlets that remind you of headlines like those. And just to prove my point: One of them is real.
- thedefensepost.com Putin Says Taliban ‘Our Allies’ in Fighting Terrorism
Putin said the Taliban, a banned group in Russia, are Moscow's "allies" in fighting terrorism because they are in control of Afghanistan.
- • 93%futurism.com Startup Says It'll Use Huge Space Mirror to Sell Sunlight During Nighttime
A unique startup claims it will soon let people buy spots of sunlight reflected with a giant satellite mirror.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/19446697
- www.theguardian.com Cat makes surprise return home four days after being ‘cremated’
Beloved pet Ted reunited with grieving North Yorkshire family after drowning mixup
- abcnews.go.com Former Republican Vice President Dick Cheney to vote for Harris, Liz Cheney says
Former Vice President Dick Cheney will be crossing party lines for this election and voting for Vice President Kamala Harris, according to his daughter.
- • 98%finance.yahoo.com Chain once known as Lumber Liquidators is going out of business, will be liquidated
It’s known as LL Flooring these days.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/19460188
- • 87%finance.yahoo.com Elon Musk Says He Survived On $1 Per Day Before Becoming The Richest Man In the World – 'In America It's Pretty Easy To Keep Yourself Alive'
When you think of Elon Musk, the image of a tech titan, the world's richest man, likely comes to mind. But here's a little-known fact: Elon Musk wasn't always living in the lap of luxury. Before the SpaceX rockets, Tesla cars, and solar panels, a young man was scraping by on just $1 a day. Yes, you ...
- • 97%www.nbcnews.com Christmas in October? Venezuela's leader moves holiday to boost support after disputed election
“It’s September, and it already smells like Christmas,” Nicolás Maduro said Monday night during his weekly television show.
“It’s September, and it already smells like Christmas,” Nicolás Maduro said Monday night during his weekly television show.
- abc7news.com Bay Area teen wins USA Mullet Championship with his 'West Coast wave' hairdo
The Fremont teen plans to donate his mullet to Wigs for Kids at some point in the future. Way to go, Mason!
- • 95%www.theguardian.com US conservative influencers say they are ‘victims’ of Russian disinformation campaign
Tim Pool, Dave Rubin and Benny Johnson addressed allegations that a company they were associated with had been paid to publish videos with messages in favour of Russia
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/19430855
> Tim Pool, Dave Rubin and Benny Johnson addressed allegations that a company they were associated with had been paid to publish videos with messages in favour of Russia > > A number of high-profile, conservative influencers in the US have said they are “victims” of an alleged Russian disinformation campaign, after the Biden administration accused Moscow of carrying out a sustained campaign to influence the outcome of November’s presidential elections. > > Tim Pool, Dave Rubin and Benny Johnson published statements on Wednesday evening addressing allegations that a US content creation company they were associated with had been provided with nearly $10m from Russian state media employees to publish videos with messages in favour of Moscow’s interests and agenda, including over the war in Ukraine.
- ground.news Maduro Moves Christmas To October Amid Post-election Turmoil
Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro has declared that Christmas will come early this year, on October 1, as he seeks to impart some holiday cheer after a disput
Maduro declared, “This year and to honor you all... I am going to decree the beginning of Christmas on October 1.”
- www.nytimes.com Climate Change Is Making ‘Last Chance Tourism’ More Popular, and Riskier
More tourists are eager to visit vanishing glaciers and ice caves, but warming is also making the sites unstable.
cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/13044872
- northpennnow.com Police: Man stole new car from Lansdale Library, drives to police station to ask for drugs back
The defendant then allegedly used the stolen car to attempt a retail theft at Target in Montgomeryville.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/19397187
- www.theverge.com Boeing’s Starliner started making a repeating ‘pulsing’ sound yesterday
It’s probably nothing.
- • 98%www.telegraph.co.uk Son put mother’s body in freezer to keep collecting pension
Sandro Mallus admitted hiding his mother’s body in her own home in Italy – but insisted she died of natural causes
An Italian man has said he kept his dead mother’s remains in a freezer to cover up her death and continue to collect her pension.
Sandro Mallus told police he put the body of Rosanna Pilloni, 78, in the family’s chest freezer after she passed away at home in the small town of Sarroch, near Cagliari in Sardinia, in January last year.
He made the admission after police began investigating concerns from neighbours that the woman hadn’t been seen for months.
According to local media, Mr Mallus continued shopping as if he was buying for two people, maintaining the pretence that his mother was alive.
Police are due to carry out a post mortem examination on Monday and have not ruled out the possibility Pilloni was killed, something Mr Mallus denies.
“My mother died of natural causes,’’ Mr Mallus told the newspaper, L’Unione Sarda. “I would never have harmed her.
“When I discovered her body I was desperate. I had no money for the funeral, so I locked her in there.”
- www.theverge.com Microsoft says its Recall uninstall option in Windows 11 is just a bug
Recall won’t be available until October for Windows testers.
archive link: http://archive.today/dtL2C
- • 87%www.businessinsider.com I thought I was giving my kids the best childhood ever until my 4-year-old asked why we didn't own a 'bigger golf cart'
My family lives in an affluent area, but I don't want my kids to take money for granted. I'm taking four steps to teach them good financial habits.
- • 56%www.bostonherald.com Prince Harry denies he has no friends or purpose and seeks a return to royal life
Sources close to the estranged, California-based son of King Charles III deny that he’s dealing with a mid-life crisis over his loss of royal status.
- archive.ph Hvaldimir: Russian 'spy' whale found dead in Norway
Hvaldimir was first spotted near the Norwegian island of Ingoya in April 2019. He was wearing a harness and what appeared to be a mount for a small camera which read "equipment St Petersburg".
- electrek.co Tesla Cybertruck caught fire after hitting a fire hydrant in bizarre crash
A Tesla Cybertruck caught on fire after hitting a fire hydrant in a bizarre crash and one of two known...
- www.cbsnews.com French fries spill across 5 Freeway in Los Angeles after semi crash
All southbound lanes on the 5 Freeway are back open after being shutdown for hours when a semi-truck crash caused boxes of French fries to spill across the highway in Los Angeles.
- https:// www.asahi.com /sp/ajw/articles/15406313
Yoshinoya Holdings Co. is hoping that its customers don't bury their heads in the sand but give a new exotic meat offering on the menu a try.
The operator of the popular “gyudon” beef bowl chain announced on Aug. 28 that it has begun offering an ostrich rice bowl.
Ostrich is known for its high-protein, low-fat and low-calorie meat.
Yoshinoya is positioning ostrich as its fourth meat offering, following beef, pork and chicken.
The company said this is also part of its effort to diversify ingredients and continue offering healthy and satisfying meals.
As a first step, the bowl with thigh and fillet ostrich meat prepared in a roast beef style on rice is being sold at around 400 of Yoshinoya’s cafe-style stores, called “Cooking and Comfort,” across the country.
The dish is priced at 1,683 yen ($11.60) including tax.
- • 85%www.nbcnews.com Harris pledges to appoint a Republican to her Cabinet if elected
In a clip of a CNN interview scheduled to air in full Thursday night, Harris said she was committed to welcoming diverse points of view.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/19720479
> >“I have spent my career inviting diversity of opinion. I think it’s important to have people at the table when some of the most important decisions are being made that have different views, different experiences,” Harris said. “And I think it would be to the benefit of the American public to have a member of my Cabinet who was a Republican.”
- • 98%news.sky.com Austrian surgeon 'let teenage daughter drill hole in patient's skull'
The alleged victim is said to have first read about the case in the media - only to be told a few months later by police that it was him the teenage girl was said to have helped operate on.
An Austrian surgeon allegedly let his teenage daughter drill a hole in a patient's skull.
Following a forestry accident in January, a 33-year-old man was flown by air ambulance to Graz University Hospital, Styria, southeastern Austria, with serious head injuries, according to Kronen Zeitung, an Austrian newspaper.
He needed emergency surgery, but the doctor allegedly let his 13-year-old daughter take part in operating on him.
The newspaper reported that she even drilled a hole in the patient's skull.
While the operation was said to have gone off without issue, the patient is still unable to work and investigations by the Graz public prosecutor's officer against the entire surgical team are continuing.
It wasn't until April that an anonymous complaint was logged to the public prosecutor's office about the allegations, the newspaper reported.
The alleged victim initially learned about the case in the media before later being told by authorities he was a witness in an investigation.
- • 96%finance.yahoo.com Peloton’s former billionaire CEO says he’s lost all his money and had to sell his possessions
“At one point I had a lot of money on paper,” says Peloton’s ex-CEO John Foley.
- theconversation.com Drinking alcohol before conceiving a child could accelerate their aging – new research in mice
Researchers are uncovering the ways by which dad, mom or both parents drinking can result in fetal alcohol syndrome and other lifelong effects on children.
TL;DR do not give alcohol to pregnant mice
- • 94%mashable.com Reflect Orbital sells sunlight at night, but don't trust that fancy video
It's... intriguing.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/19090299
- • 98%www.nytimes.com Fighting Sexual Temptation? Play Badminton, Hong Kong Tells Teenagers.
Top officials in the Chinese territory have defended new sex education guidance that critics call regressive. Young people are amused.
- https:// meidasnews.com /news/trump-selling-pieces-of-his-debate-suit
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/19116917
> Trump just dropped a new video for his digital trading cards. > If you can forgive yourself, spend a few seconds on the card site. > You've been warned
- • 98%www.telegraph.co.uk Grandmother survives in wilderness by drinking rainwater and ‘talking to a fox’
Survival instinct kicks in for 88-year-old who went missing for four days in woods near her home
An 88-year-old Italian woman who got lost in a forest while looking for mushrooms survived for four days by drinking rainwater from puddles, reciting the rosary and talking to a fox.
Giuseppina Bardelli ventured into the mountains near her home in the village of Maccagno con Pino e Veddasca, on the border with Switzerland, taking a path that she had walked many times before. She was with her 57-year-old son, Sergio, but they became separated once they got to the woods.
“She lost her orientation, and she wandered off the path that she has known for more than 40 years,” Roberto, her other son, said.
She went missing last Wednesday, August 21, and it was not until four days later that she was found by rescuers.
“She drank rainwater that she found in puddles,” Roberto told Corriere della Sera newspaper. “At night she slept under trees, using vegetation to cover herself.”
She also befriended a wild fox that came sniffing around her out of curiosity.
“The fox approached her several times. They sort of became friends. And every evening she recited the rosary. She knew that every day could be her last,” her son said.
- • 98%www.komu.com Bald eagle thought to be injured later deemed "too fat to fly"
Dickerson Park Zoo x-rays show evidence of raccoon roadkill inside the bird's stomach.
- • 38%www.nytimes.com Opinion | Trump Can Win on Character
Presidential races are won and lost on character as much as the issues, and often the issues are proxies for character.
- www.wantedinrome.com Rome burglar caught after stopping to read book
A burglar who broke into a Rome apartment on Tuesday night was arrested after stopping in the middle of the robbery to read a book about Greek mythology.
- • 96%www.ndtv.com UP Man Fined For Driving Car Without Helmet By Noida Police
A man who claims that he has never been to Uttar Pradesh's Gautam Buddh Nagar district in his car, has been slapped with a fine of Rs 1,000 by Noida police for driving the vehicle without a helmet.
- www.thedailybeast.com Joyless Lindsey Graham: Democrats’ Joy ‘Doesn’t Exist in Real World’
The Republican senator made the comments in response to the DNC “love fest” during an appearance on CNN's “State of the Union.”
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/19046110
> >Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) said he isn’t buying all that Democratic “joy” on display at this past week’s Democratic National Convention in Chicago during a Sunday appearance with Jake Tapper on CNN’s State of the Union. > > >During their conversation, Tapper brought up the “disciplined” and “well-produced” DNC this week that, as the journalist put it, “conveyed patriotism and unity.” Graham didn’t see it that way. > > >“Well, I didn’t see what you saw,” Graham told Tapper with a laugh. “If you’re a Republican, you saw a hate fest. You saw a hate fest full of insults.” > > >“Americans are not joyful when they go to the gas station and fill up their car,” he continued. “They’re not joyful when they make their mortgage payment. They’re not joyful when they go to the grocery store. People are hurting, and this whole joy love fest doesn’t exist in the real world.” > > > >To bolster his claim, Graham pointed to the gas prices, the state of the border, and inflation during Donald Trump’s presidency when “the world was not on fire.” > > He's either lying or what he said gives us a look into his shitty perspective of the world. Either way such a miserable and pathetic existence.
- www.nbcbayarea.com San Francisco residents speculate a utility box collapsed due to dog urine
People are theorizing why a utility box in San Francisco fell over. Some said it was due in part to dog urine.
- https:// www.reuters.com /world/europe/hungarys-foreign-minister-accuses-eu-disrupting-oil-supplies-russia-2024-08-24
Hungary's foreign minister said on Saturday the European Commission's decision not to mediate in a dispute over a blockage of oil supplies from Russia via Ukraine into his country suggested that Brussels was behind the stoppage.
Hungary and its neighbour Slovakia have been protesting since Ukraine put Russian oil producer Lukoil on a sanctions list in June, stopping that company's oil from passing through Ukrainian territory to Slovak and Hungarian refineries.
The assertion from Hungary's Peter Szijjarto, which he made without providing evidence, came a day after the European Commission declined a request from Hungary and Slovakia for it to mediate between them and Ukraine over the sanctions.
[Edit: I deleted a 'Opens New Tab' link]
- www.ign.com A Prominent Accessibility Advocate Worked With Studios and Inspired Change. But She Never Actually Existed. - IGN
In the years since the alleged death of beloved accessibility advocate Susan Banks, mounting evidence and accounts from those close to her work suggest that she was not the person she claimed to be. In fact, some are convinced that Banks may never have existed at all.
cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/40412767
> Weirdest gaming story I've heard this year
