How much of a deal breaker would be a high body count for you?

Not a factor at all, but using the term "body count" is enough on its own to lose interest.

Very mature of you to have an appropriate age bracket of 40+ only
- Oh, everyone under 40 is sexually hung up? I got to tell you, things are not much better on this side of 40.

I know for a fact my wife has a higher count than I do, how much more? No clue, because I never asked and it doesn't matter.

Everything she's done up until I met her, made her the woman I love today.

Body count is stupid.

As long as someone is honest with you, cares about you, and gotten tested so they aren't spreading anything... who honestly gives a shit?

One homicide might be an accident, once someone's over a dozen I wouldn't want them in my house.

I suppose it depends if it's a hobby or a professional gig.

If you have a problem with the number of people your partner slept with prior to meeting you, you really shouldn't be dating, as you need therapy to work through your issues before you start mucking about with other people.

Wow.

don't care. I've never even asked a woman how many people she's been with. It's none of my business.

More XP. Higher level. Better rewards.

I'm 45. I haven't kept a count of 'conquests' since my early 20s. If a woman knows her number without thinking about it, that tells me a lot about her maturity level and matters way more than the actual number.

Not a deal breaker at all :3

Honestly makes it more fun uwu

Context not included, the number itself doesn't matter, but the context with the number can potentially matter. For example if they had sex with 50 people and thought they were in love with most of them, then how can i feel like their love for me is real and going to last? But if they had sex with 1000 people when they were being sex trafficked against their will, then (aside from concerns about possible related trauma) the number wouldn't matter at all.

What if they had sex with 1000 people willingly and enjoyed it, but weren't in love with all of those people?
- Again, I'd need to know the context. Was the person a sex addict? Were they in a contest with their friend to see who could have sex with the most people? Etc etc etc? 99.99% of people don't get anywhere near 1000 sex partners, so for me I'd need to know the context that led up to that result

It smells like reheated puritanism in here... Glad to know the more things change, the more they stay the same.

No, it would not matter to me. I wouldn't ask, either. People deserve their privacy. But I'm aware of how outdated that concept may sound or be, nowadays. If I got to know, I'd like to know from the start. Because... yes.

The least I'd expect would be for the person to respect me and make sure everything was well and safe, before condoms could be considered to be overlooked. I always made sure to watch my health in regards to others.

I'm aware that for this hypothetical STDs are to be diaregarded but still...

But "body count"? What happened to "sex partners" or "lovers"? Got too clinical or too intimate? I'd like to understand the almost pathological need of lingo nowadays to create distance or sound military. In this case, both at the same time. Let's dehumanize ourselves a bit more.

Going back to the original question again:

No, it does not matter how many people warmed their sheets or enjoyed their bits. Good for them, got lucky, but I get to keep the prize. Maybe share a bit, if we get a bit more on the wild side.

Let's raise the stakes. What if the person is/was a sex worker? A prostitute or maybe a porn actor or actress? Does their line of work makes them less worthy of having emotional needs? Less human? Less of a person? Not really. In my understanding they are as deserving, if not even more, of having someone love, respect and support them.

I remember watching this documentary on sex workers years back and how this actress described her need, after a long day of work of being fucked, to go home, have a shower, have a nice meal with her partner and afterwards go to bed and make love in the missionary position. Telling, isn't it?

And in the extreme scenario of that long line of people stemming from some trauma or perhaps a mental health condition, again, it should not matter at all.

I'm now available for your downvotes and vitriole.

Dated a sex worker - more a 'call girl' than a street contractor - after she was out. She got into it like the stereotype: sperm donor split when she got knocked up, and then she was a single mother outta high school with limited skills and massive bills.
Hey, one of us knew what we were doing back then. Yay!
She was absolutely stunning, too.

So someone likes sex. So do I. We have that in common. Your body count is of no concern of mine. Honestly none of my business who or how many as long as we are together we stay faithful unless previously agreed upon.

As long as the body count is not murders or abducted people in a basement its fine

I’m married so it’s moot, but I’m gonna go against the grain a little bit here. I don’t know that it would ever be a dealbreaker but it might signal a fundamental incompatibility because of me. I recently discovered the term “demisexual” and that describes me pretty well. I’d say I’m somewhere between demi and flat out asexual. So yeah, I wouldn’t judge a high number from a partner but I would worry that we wouldn’t work out, if that makes sense.

I have had zero partners, and I think I'd feel really insecure with someone more experienced. Depending on the person it might not be a dealbreaker, as long as it's not more than maybe 2 or 3. Although I know that is a very small percentage of people my age :(

Thanks for the honesty. I have a hard time figuring out why anyone would care. Insecurity. That's the answer. If you care you're insecure.
Sorry you're struggling with that.

Assuming no STIs, I honestly don't care.

Considering that I’m approaching triple digits, it’d be pretty hypocritical for me to not be comfortable with my partners also having a high count.

Edit to add: Honestly, I prefer that my partners have a decently high count. It means that they know what they’re doing, know what they want, and know how to ask for it. The only downside is that we never have a good answer to the stock question of, “What wild fantasy do you have that you’ve never done?” We’ve all probably done anything that we’ve fantasized about.

It isn’t all. It means she knows what she is doing!

Not something I care about. I was my partner's 100th. The quantity was much less significant than the meticulous data collection (there was a spreadsheet) but that was an overall plus.

So "body count" in American English means murders in most contexts. Making this question rather confusing at first.

I can't answer the first question because my wife and I both have counts of 1: each other. The second question...if I had an issue I would make that clear before a first date of it was indeed a deal breaker.

Kids these days are also using it to mean number of sexual partners, which I think is kinda cute.
- Because a linguistic association between sex and murder is so adorable, especially when it comes from kids!

None. No number. Why does it matter? Like, at all?

Depends on the other person's body count, attitude towards sex, and maturity.

When I was a virgin, the idea of being with someone who wasn't a virgin made me feel incredibly insecure.

Once I had had one partner, the idea of being with someone who had had more than one partner made me very insecure.

Now that I've had a handful of partners, I've realized it doesn't matter to me anymore.

A better question would be what age did you grow up and stop caring. I was probably around 18

For me, I don’t care to know the details of their past relationships. It’s none of my business. If anything, sharing body counts is just another way to shame a partner for something that should not be held against anyone. So what if she sucked 37 dicks? Doesn’t matter if it was in a row or not.

I'm not sure I understand the question. What is STI and in what context should I understand 'body count'?

Is it sexual partners? If that is so, I don't give a f... I mean, I don't care. It's not some hunting competition, at least not for me or for my spouse.

The only thing I would care is us, my partner and I, being honest about anything happening that could jeopardize our relationship. Including any past or present adventures.

Sexually Transmitted Illness I believe.
If this is in any other context than sex, I'm concerned
- Infection, actually.
  https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9138-sexually-transmitted-diseases--infections-stds--stis
- Is driving a fast Subaru a dealbreaker?

I don’t ask for that information. As long as he has shown himself to be a good, loyal partner, his sexual past wouldn’t matter to me unless he did something unethical to achieve it.

It's situational, but a very high number of past partners could correlate with unethical behavior in the past and/or some issues making healthy connections with others. It would be worthy of a discussion, but probably more broadly about past experiences and relationships rather than "body count."
You could also say you don't care how much money your partner has, but if they're a billionaire you might want to know more about how they got there.

Personally I'd start to have an issue if they've been with over double my count as I think its indicative of a mismatched libido that could lead to problems.

If there are no STI's involved, I fail to see how it's anyone else's business. Unless your partner decides to willingly divulge this info, of course.

I don’t really care. If anything more experience doing something tends to make one better at it

Triple digits?! Yare-yare... I guess the main deciding factor would be: are you still a competitive hedonist or have you finally understood the almost sacred and unbreakable relationship between love and sex?

I don't think it would matter, but I've never faced that reality so I don't know for sure.

I know for a fact that I am completely comfortable with low double digits and the numbers really aren't that important. I'm not a high scorer by any means, but never really thought about the numbers. Can't remember ever asking for a count.

Anything above 5 makes me cautious. Anything above 10 is a hard no.

And no, this is not a double standard, I am below 5 myself

Weak.

If they are good at things and make me feel like I’m good at stuff then why bother counting. A high body count could mean they cheat or move on easily. … or not… so I really don’t put any weight behind it.

I get why it can be intimidating or insecurity provoking to be with an experienced partner but all that really matters is how you connect with them. If they don’t give you a reason to make their body count matter, then I wouldn’t call it a red flag.

I have no qualms about the past of people I am sexually active with as long as they are clean and safe. Considering how many people I have been with, I would be a hypocrite if it mattered to me.

As far as when it is appropriate to share, I would say as soon as one is comfortable if at all. At the end of the day even a romantic partner does not have a right to every piece of information on you, and if a lot of sexual partners is a deal breaker to anyone involved the relationship shouldn't continue in the first place. Incompatible values tend to ruin relationships.

Not only do I not mind, I would hope that my perspective partner would have enough sexual experience so that we would both enjoy ourselves.

I have low numbers and it is a non-issue for me... NO STI!

Wait ... Is it that common for people to have single digit bodycounts? I had the impression it was just antisocial solitary weirdos like me who remained comfortably under ten

Ten? My guy, I'm not even at one.
Don't get your hopes up, those are just the other solitary weirdos chiming in.

Opposite. I would strongly prefer an experienced partner. So I guess I'd have a minimum, and not sure if I'd have a max. Though I also haven't ever "counted" so I would find it odd if someone with a lot of partners had kept count.

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