Yep. You're just not quite sure what actually happened, or will happen, and which vision is true.
Like, a simple example, I washed my hands (something many of us OCD folks do a lot) and closed the tap. I remember doing it, but then a vision appears of me not doing it, which leads to flooding my neighbors, starting fires because electricity, and flooding and burning an entire house at the same time.
And since this moment, I don't know which vision is true. I don't know if I closed the tap and will be safe, or didn't and will destroy the Universe. Both possibilities feel equally real, even if one is more likely than the other.
When I feel safe and know someone trustworthy has checked, I settle and remember the correct chain of events. But if anxiety kicks in, reality shatters into many versions, all of which are troubling me.
I feel like calling it visions is dramatic, at least from my perspective, but to all their own. For me I'd describe it more like I can picture both instances when remembering if I locked the door or not, like I forgot the true memory and I can see both things as having happened equally as likely, so I need to go back and check. Even after checking multiple times sometimes when it's bad it can still be hard to reconcile with reality knowing this is the 5th time you've turned around to check, but just one more time I'll check again.
Yeah that is even more accurate, I just clang to the wording of the original post.
And yes, checking multiple times often only exacerbates it, like, what if I actually looked wrong all these times, or maybe when checking I broke something and it was alright but now it's bad or whatever.
The reason you develop these compulsions is not because you want to do those things. Rather, it is because of fear about what will happen if you don’t do them.
Like with ADHD, the symptoms of the disorder is present in most people, but not strong enough to be a problem all the time. I get this feeling when I leave the house, but I can either usually dismiss it or remember that I did in fact turn off the bathroom fan and it won't burst into flames and burn down the neighborhood.
Yep. You're just not quite sure what actually happened, or will happen, and which vision is true.
Like, a simple example, I washed my hands (something many of us OCD folks do a lot) and closed the tap. I remember doing it, but then a vision appears of me not doing it, which leads to flooding my neighbors, starting fires because electricity, and flooding and burning an entire house at the same time.
And since this moment, I don't know which vision is true. I don't know if I closed the tap and will be safe, or didn't and will destroy the Universe. Both possibilities feel equally real, even if one is more likely than the other.
When I feel safe and know someone trustworthy has checked, I settle and remember the correct chain of events. But if anxiety kicks in, reality shatters into many versions, all of which are troubling me.
I feel like calling it visions is dramatic, at least from my perspective, but to all their own. For me I'd describe it more like I can picture both instances when remembering if I locked the door or not, like I forgot the true memory and I can see both things as having happened equally as likely, so I need to go back and check. Even after checking multiple times sometimes when it's bad it can still be hard to reconcile with reality knowing this is the 5th time you've turned around to check, but just one more time I'll check again.
Yeah that is even more accurate, I just clang to the wording of the original post.
And yes, checking multiple times often only exacerbates it, like, what if I actually looked wrong all these times, or maybe when checking I broke something and it was alright but now it's bad or whatever.
hum yeah your brain goes 100kmh lol interesting
That's true for all anxiety disorders lol
Uh.. Shit. I might have a new one to add to my collection. Or mayhap the thought process is just uncomfortably similar.
Bruh "my collection" collection of self diagnosed issues you pick, or a an actually qualified person said you had certain issues
Always good to check by your local psychotherapist!
Also, some level of it is normal; it is when it introduces significant obstacles in life that you should be worried about.