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Hey folks. It's me, VubDapple. I'm a (not so active but still present) mod for this community and also a mental health professional. Recently there was some upset at this young community's rule about posts concerning suicide. I thought I'd offer a few thoughts about suicide and where things seem to stand right now. Sorry for the delay in my response; things have been rather busy in my life.

Suicide is a super frightening topic for many people - with good reason. As such, it is difficult to figure out how to manage discussion of suicide in a public and anonymous volunteer forum so that everyone's needs are best met. A few issues come to mind that have to do with such balancing of needs:

1. How to balance the needs of people who want to discuss their suicidal thoughts against the needs of other people who would be triggered by reading it and would really like to avoid it? Suicidal ideation is really common within groups of people who self-identify as having mental health issues, so on the one hand it is reasonable to discuss it. On the other hand, the very nature of the topic feels dangerous to many, sometimes because it might trigger one's own suicidal thoughts and at other times because there is concern that if not handled properly any discussion could make the issue worse rather than better.

2. How to know what the risk is that someone who is suicidal might actually attempt suicide? Many people who are suicidal are not in imminent danger, but some really are. Because this judgement is difficult to make, and because no one here including moderators is able to take on an actual care-giving clinical role, it is reasonable for us to treat all suicidal discussion as potentially dangerous.

3. How to best care for a suicidal person? This community is simply not able to provide any actual suicide prevention service! There is nothing like /r/suicidewatch here at this time! The community is not staffed to care for an acutely suicidal person.

The recent rule adjustment (Rule #4) has been made to try to strike a balance between the competing needs of community members. Basically, it's okay to acknowledge the existence of suicidal thoughts or thoughts relating to self-harm but we want to discourage extended discussion of such topics, precisely because no one here is able to take on an extended care-giving role in the manner a professional caregiver would and because there is a reasonable chance or at least reasonable concern that extended discussion might make things worse than they already are. The best advice that can be given at this time would be to seek professional mental health care.

I can shed some light on how to know when suicidal thoughts are considered acutely and immediately dangerous and when they are not by providing the following psycho-educational information.

Mental health professionals divided the universe of suicidal thoughts into "active" and "passive" categories. I like to offer the metaphor of a "poison flower" to help people recognize how these categories work.

Suicidal thoughts are a developmental process that starts small and grows to become a threat. Think of a flower seedling - it is very small at first - just a shoot coming out of the soil. As it grows it develops tiny leaves and the stem gets larger, the leaves get larger, etc. in a developmental process. Eventually a bud forms, that bud opens and then we have a flower. The universe of passive suicidal ideation is just like this flower during its developmental phase eg., before the flower blooms. The universe of active suicidal ideation is like the flower after it has bloomed. Active suicidality is much more dangerous than passive suicidal ideation.

Passive ideation usually starts with a feeling of overwhelm; a sense that a person simply does not have what it will take to manage the situation they find themselves in. As it grows, the passively suicidal person becomes aware of the thought that they might be better off dead. Often this thought is frightening at first; the people who experience it do not want it there and see it as a sign that they aren't well. A further development of the suicidal process but still passive suicidality occurs when a person finds themselves fantasizing about how they might end their life. The thoughts may still be unwanted and at this phase of the developmental process there can be a sense of a growing struggle between the thoughts of dying and the desire to push those thoughts away. An even further development might occur when a person starts taking seriously the idea that they might actually kill themselves. At this late stage of passive suicidal ideation there may still not be what we call intent, but nevertheless the suicidal person may start researching how they would end their life.

The turning point between passive and active suicidality comes when three criteria are met: 1) there is intent to harm one's self, 2) there is a plan for how the person will harm themselves, and 3) the person has access to the means to harm themselves. The term intent means that the person has come to regard the idea of suicide as something they will carry out. The term plan means only that the person has picked a method for how they will die. You don't need to have a "good" plan (eg., one likely to be lethal) in order for it to count that you have a plan; any plan will do. Finally having access to the means for committing suicide means having access to the tools and materials that the person would use to end their life. When all three of these criteria are met, we mental health professionals consider the person to be actively suicidal. When the criteria are not all met then we consider people to be more passively suicidal.

Suicidal ideation is not a one-way process. People can move from not-suicidal to passively suicidal and then later to actively suicidal, but it is also true that actively suicidal people can exit their active suicidal status back usually to passively suicidal status, and then even later become not suicidal again. It's important to keep this in mind because of what some call the "suicidal trance" eg., the tendency, as a person becomes more and more actively suicidal, to believe that suicide is the only reasonable response to what appears to that person at the moment to be an endless and entirely hopeless set of life problems from which suicide is the only escape. Most of the time it isn't true that the person's life problems are actually endlessly hopeless, but it does tend to feel that way when you're in it.

There is no hard and fast rule for assessing danger here, but the general idea is that passive suicidality is less acutely dangerous than active suicidality; mostly because with active suicidality by definition there is intent to die and the person's energies are marshaled in the direction of finding a way to make that happen in a manner that is simply not the case when a person is more passively suicidal. Passive suicidality is dangerous in that it may become active later on, but most of the time when someone is passively suicidal they are not going to go home and kill themselves any time soon. Active suicidality is a crisis. The actively suicidal person needs help and they need it as quickly as it can be found. A good way to gain that help if there is no other resource around would be to go to a hospital emergency room and tell the staff there that you are actively suicidal. Such action might help best in the short term because at least in the USA (where I am located) the healthcare system is broken and there easily might not be follow up care provided which would be needed, but it might be better than nothing.

What sort of care does a suicidal person benefit from? If you know of someone who is suicidal and the right solution is not immediate hospitalization to contain a crisis that will unfold very very shortly if urgent measures are not taken, then what is the right solution? It used to be the case that mental health professionals were trained to ask suicidal people to "sign a no-suicide contract" whether actually or metaphorically. It turns out that this doesn't help much. These days, in addition to whatever therapy they may provide mental health professionals are trained to help passively suicidal clients by helping them complete a Suicide Safety Plan.

The Suicide Safety Plan is simply a list of resources that the suicidal person can think about when they are tempted by the possibility of harming themselves. It is designed to help a suicidal person to maintain perspective about their larger situation even as the "suicidal trance" beckons them to die, and to remind the suicidal person of the techniques they can use or the resources they can call upon if they are feeling especially tempted.

Anyone can make a Suicide Safety Plan by answering the following questions:

1. What are the warning signs in your behavior that signal that you are becoming increasingly suicidal?

2. What are the ways you have available to calm or sooth yourself that might lessen your need to suicide?

3. What can you do to make the environment safer for you (like getting rid of the means of harming yourself)?

4. What are reasons for living? Often this one boils down to "Who would be harmed if you were to die?"

5. Who in your personal life can you talk to about how bad things are?

6. Who are the healthcare professionals you can call on if things get really bad?

I know what you might be thinking! A lot of people looking at these questions have told me that they can't see it coming, they don't know how to sooth themselves, there are no valid reasons for living, they have no friends or people who care about them and that they can't access healthcare because it is too expensive (which is often true in the profit-obsessed USA unfortunately). Even so, it is worth trying to engage with these questions so as to write out methods and names and resources as well as you can. Even a little bit of hope and a little bit of planning in advance can become critical in a crisis, making the difference between life and death.

A final word about reasons for living. Many times suicidal people have told me that even though they have children or loved ones, that their children will be better off without them alive. Such is the warping influence of the suicidal trance which commonly argues that the suicidal person is and can only be a burden and that children or loved ones will be better off without them. This simply isn't true. Children get FUCKED UP when their parents commit suicide. Loved ones get FUCKED UP when their loved ones commit suicide. Particularly for children who lose their parents to suicide, the effect is to traumatize them rather permanently for the rest of their lives. I have seen it up close and personal. Nothing I might say can make the influence of the suicidal trance less strong, but at least hear me in that this part of what that trance says is a lie. Nothing good comes of suicide except maybe that your own personal pain is discharged. The others around you will suffer. If you don't want to contribute to the suffering of others, please consider looking for another way. That other way might be very hard to find or very expensive to access, but when it is life or death, it's a good investment to make.

General Suicide Information

https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/index.html

Suicide Helplines In the USA: call or text 988

https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp

https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/

Suicide Safety Planning:

https://www.verywellmind.com/suicide-safety-plan-1067524

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-recovery-coach/202306/how-to-develop-a-safety-plan-to-manage-a-suicidal-crisis

CW Major Trigger

spoiler

recently I feel closer and closer to just ending it, I have essentially became aware that all of my friends put me in the outer circle of our friend group, and actively view me as a child. I am autistic but also I feel like my friends view me as disgusting with no real solution of what to do with me, I live with them and the only option I realistically have other than this is to move in with my mom who tends to emotionally depend on me.

I know that I am always the friend but never the best friend, I have no inner circle where I feel like I can talk about my thoughts and how dark things have gotten recently. I feel like if I told my friends it would likely result in me being hospitalized and than having my stuff moved out and kinda told "no one ever liked you and we have felt that way for a really long time". I don't blame them I know I am annoying and socially awkward, I know my depression has lead me to neglect things in my life. Keep in mind this is not me being autistic, many of our friends are ND as well, this is me specifically. Part of the reason I have not tried yet was that I am afraid it will be viewed as emotionally manipulated, the truth of this world is that no one wants to see the social behind and awkward 23 year transfem blow her brains out, but people can think your weird thats their right.

Me being trans is always a side fact, HRT has not done me good, people tell me I look like a women to be nice but in reality I look disgusting, I look like some cringe fetish account you will find on Reddit that everyone equally agrees is disgusting.

People I do talk to on discord from time to time will say I am just overthinking it, since no one has outright said they hate me, or think that. but the truth is i have heard them say "I don't want her to hear xyz" or say thing about me right outside of ear shot.

What's kept me alive other than worrying it will come off as emotionally manipulative to my "friends" is the fact my mom has repeatedly told me over and over she will off herself if I do, it's like a known thing that i cannot avoid. it's guilt I have to carry, I do hate the fact this is true and i carry a ton of guilt and i usually ball my eyes out when I am confronted with this morality problem, but I remember the first time I attempted I overcame this and just accepted that it is what it is. I also do fear death, i don't know what comes after but in that moment I consider that maybe whatever it is I deserve that. I don't deserve to walk this earth anymore. I sometimes watch the sucide ending to cyberpunk, not cause i actually think anyone would care about me like that but I am reminded that no one really cares about me like that.

There was a time when I had dreams and goals in life, I wanted to work in tech, I wanted to get bachelors degree I wanted to have friends, but the truth is I never realized how gross I was until now, I never realized my transition would be a failure, I never realized just how much i got on peoples nerves

I often want to just run away and restart I try to distract myself from reality imaging maybe an internship or anything else to get my life back on track. than maybe buy a car but I know that not really possible anymore

NOTICE TO LEMMY MODERATORS

Hi, I understand your concerns and want to help out, I know in this rare instance you likely think giving my IP to the pigs is a moral good, and that I will get the help I need, the main mental hospital I would go to is currently facing sexual abuse allegations, my roommates would likely kick me out during my stay at the mental hospital assuming that I am not a danger to myself and that it would be much safer to do it at this time. I am currently 9k in debt if you combine credit card, and existing medical debt, with zero income. you doing this would likely add additional financial strain to my already difficult to justify existence. If you do this I would likely be even closer than I already am. and I would likely not vent online next time.

I wanted to share the story of my life. Mental health and growth. This touches on subjects such as Autism, BPD, Bipolar, DID and Psychopathy.

Todays media is full of beautiful people and great places to visit but no one ever talks about how hard it is to maintain these ideals. Try to get rid of people that judge you cause of your look. If you ever feel like you have nothing important to give for this world, think about it twice cause you might come up with great things after you had some development of your character- which happens automaticly during life. You might not like yourself yet but you shouldnt give up so quick, who you are is only defined by yourself, take a few uncertain steps forward and you will get surprised too.

This is about programming specifically, but I guess you can experience similar things with many other activities as well. So if you can even remotely relate your thoughts are very welcome.

Alright so, every time when I sit down to programme it tends to start out great, I feel relaxed and kind of looking forward to it. However, at some point there is going to be a bug in the code or some library does not work as I expect it to. I then start googling; try something out; doesn't work; google some more; try more stuff; still doesn't work. While this is of course just what coding is like, during these "google, test, repeat" sessions I tend to go faster with every iteration and at some point I am in such a rush that it feels like I hardly remember to breathe. Needless to say that this is freaking exhausting. After an hour of this my brain is just mush.

Of course, the obvious solution to this is to just take a break as soon as I notice me speeding up. I will try to do this more, but sometimes it feels like I can't. This unsolved bug will sit in my mind so that I can't stop thinking about it even if I'm not at the keyboard. "It must be solved. Now". Of course it doesn't, but that's what my mind is telling me.

In a few months I will probably be working as a full time dev again and until then I have to have solved this problem somehow if I want to do this any longer than a couple of years.

Ideally I want programming to be a meditative experience and feel refreshed afterwards instead of completely drained. This might be illusionary, but at least I would want it to be draining more like I've been on a good run, instead of feeling like being hit by a truck.

Anyways I'm wondering if any of you can relate to this and maybe has solved this in some way. Does this ever happen to you? What do you do to prevent this from happening? I appreciate any thoughts you have on this.

>Researchers at Harvard’s Nurses’ Health Study exploring conflicting findings on whether pet ownership is good for our mental health have found that having — and loving — a dog (sorry, cat people) is associated with lower symptoms of depression and anxiety. > >... > >We used several different measures for depression and for anxiety and found overall that there is an inverse association between pet attachment and negative mental health outcomes. That means the more attached you are to your pet, the lower your risk of depression and anxiety. > >The effect was particularly strong among women who had a history of sexual or physical abuse in childhood, who made up the majority of our study population. > >I think those findings were mostly driven by dogs, because the majority of the pets owned in the study were dogs — it was about two-thirds dogs and one-third cats. The association was similar to what we found when restricting the analysis just to dogs, but not as strong. > >With cats, there doesn’t seem to be an association between pet attachment and mental health outcomes. There was a smaller number of respondents though, so we cannot rule out that we don’t see anything because there were too few cats in the survey. > >... > >Many studies have been done on the effects of pet ownership, but the premise of this study is that it may matter more how much you are attached to the pet than if you simply own a pet. Many people have pets, but not every owner is attached to their pet. > >Plenty of people don’t enjoy having to walk their dogs in the morning because the dog is the beloved pet of their child, for example. So the goal was to sort out whether attachment is the more important variable that links pets to health outcomes in humans, and then to study mechanisms.

I'm 40 years old, in a crappy job without prospects despite degrees, and I have 0 friends.

I used to have a grand total of 2 friends before Covid, but then we lost contact. I've tried to rekindle, but all effort was onesided so I stopped.

I'm a lifelong spineless people pleaser despite lots of therapy, and the ironic thing is that this turns people off of you instead of having them like you.

At this point I don't see any reasons to continue trying.

If I had one wish in life, it would be to be a stereotypical asshole with actual self esteem - those are the kinds of people who seem to be anle to reach all of their goals and have others worship the ground they walk on.

But as for me, I'm so turned off by other people in general that I would probably be morbidly amused to read, oh I dunno, that Moscow nuked Kiev (or vive versa), that Jerusalem is burning, or that my hometown was wiped away by a hurricane.

Not to be "edgy". It's emotionally debilitating, and to be clear I don't enjoy/wish for human suffering.

I've just become as indifferent to it as the world seems to be to me. Simple tit for tat.

I'm tired. Kinda hoped I wouldn't wake up from my anaesthesia today. Ah well.

cross-posted from: https://midwest.social/post/15700734

> The mental health of adolescents and young adults has been on the decline and it’s partly because of “harmful megatrends” like financial inequality, according to a new report published on Tuesday in the scientific journal The Lancet Psychiatry. The global trends affecting younger generations also include wage theft, unregulated social media, job insecurity and climate change, all of which are creating “a bleak present and future for young people in many countries,” according to the authors. > > Full text link: https://dnyuz.com/2024/08/13/are-we-thinking-about-the-youth-mental-health-crisis-all-wrong/

As Texas adults struggle to access mental health care, people in San Antonio are turning to faith leaders, new data shows.

Calls to Oklahoma's 988 Mental Health Lifeline increased by 44% in its second full year, with 36,493 calls received. Officials attribute the rise to growing awareness, ongoing mental health challenges, and reduced stigma. Calls are typically answered within 12 to 14.5 seconds, with 72% resolved over the phone. Mobile crisis teams are dispatched for 12% of calls, with 20% of those requiring further mental healthcare.

As if people with anxiety don’t have enough to worry about, a new study is adding to that list — suggesting the disorder may nearly triple the risk of developing dementia years later.

“We have known for a long time that stress increases risk for Alzheimer’s disease,” said Dr. Rudolph Tanzi, director of the McCance Center for Brain Health at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, who wasn’t involved in the study, via email. “This study agrees with earlier studies that therapy aimed at alleviating anxiety can help reduce risk for (Alzheimer’s disease). But, it’s the size of this study that is particularly compelling.”

Mental health inequities are projected to cost the U.S. $14 trillion between now and 2040, according to a new study from the School of Global Health at Meharry Medical College and the Deloitte Health Equity Institute.

The analysis concluded that unaddressed mental health conditions create a significant economic burden for the country and that eliminating inequities in treatment could lead to significant savings on health care.

cross-posted from: https://midwest.social/post/14951340

> Dementia patients at Kaiser Permanente and UCSF Health have increasingly utilized telehealth services. A study in the Journal of General Internal Medicine revealed a significant rise in telehealth usage among these patients, who often face travel difficulties due to complex medical issues. The study compared data from 2019-2020 to 2021-2022, showing a drop in in-person visits and an increase in hybrid and telehealth-only care. Kaiser Permanente primarily used phone visits and offered "virtual rooming," while UCSF favored video visits and provided tech support in patients' preferred languages. > > >

Folks with depression who got therapy via text or voice messages fared just as well as those who got weekly video-based telemedicine sessions with a therapist, a new trial has found.

The findings "suggest that psychotherapy delivered via text messages may be a viable alternative to face-to-face or videoconferencing delivery and may allow for more immediate on-demand care," in a time when it's often tough for people to access mental health care, the study authors wrote.

spoiler

I think I hit the last straw today, I have been really trying to get a job, hunderds of attempts and nothing, I finallly get an interview and I thought I did well, I did'nt turns out, I have nothing. On top of that my friends are now asking for rent, this was the one city I finally had some form of a support system now I have to move back home and leave it behind and return to a place I did not have any support system once so ever. I will likely need to quit hrt due to lack of funds. I am now thinking instead of suffering like I did alone for years, why not just commit. My plan is to create a massive scene to make everyone hate me, I will than disappear and commit in a random town far away from here cause I don't fucking care anymore. I am 2.5k in debt, nothing fucking matters. I have been holding out my entire life and shit never seems to get better. People just tell me well theres gotta be something postive in your home town :), but that comes across as a massive fuck you from someone who just was alone and cried in her bed constantly for years. and legit had nothing better to do than doom scroll twitter. I am humbling convienced that's as good as I am allowed to have based on karma from actions I did when I was 12-14. I know I am gonna get banned for this post but everything feels so loud. I chugged a monster and I started to have chest pain I legit didnt care anymore I just needed to feel something other than the numbness. I legit don't even know if I am real anymore and i LEGIT have no options anymore. I really doubt my friends would support me if I told them hey I'm sucidal they would likely just say we don;t know you like that and talk about how inappropriate it was to just drop that on them like that. I suck as a person I humbly believe that I deserve to be an unidentified jane doe somewhere. I also know I am very likely to be banned for this post but I really don't care nothing fuccking matters anymore I cwed this post as best I can I just can't fucking take it everything feels so loud ever since I read that fucking email, this is the millionth email I gotten like that

Everyone struggles to manage their emotions at times. It’s normal to have negative feelings and we can’t expect ourselves – or others – to leave those behind just because we’re at work. But those negative emotions can be detrimental to our relationships, performance, focus, and overall well-being. So it’s worthwhile to hone our emotional intelligence skills that help us handle negative feelings. The author shares three simple approaches to enhance three specific aspects of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, and positive connections. These exercises include: assessment of bodily sensations, cognitive load, and emotional states; strategic breathing exercises; and authentic, intentional acts of kindness and understanding.

A study published in JAMA Network Open by Included Health and Harvard Medical School found that patients in high deductible health plans are less likely to seek virtual behavioral healthcare when costs are reintroduced. The study analyzed 15,000 patients and revealed that those required to pay out-of-pocket attended 1.5 fewer telemental health visits per month, with 11.7% stopping visits altogether.

A number of large employers across the United States, including Microsoft, Dell and Ford, are taking steps to make workplaces more accessible and welcoming for neurodivergent employees as the number of autism diagnoses rises. The shift comes as an increasing number of autistic people are also identifying themselves publicly.

Large nonprofit health systems like Geisinger, Ascension, and Henry Ford are forming joint ventures with investor-owned psychiatric hospital operators such as Acadia and Universal Health Services. While these hospitals often carry the names of the nonprofits, for-profit companies with questionable track records manage day-to-day operations.

cross-posted from: https://midwest.social/post/14297883

> Between the ages of 8 and 12, MRI scans of children with ADHD show significantly lower cerebral blood flow in regions of the brain known to be related to attention, motor skills, executive function and impulsivity. > > (Conclusively demonstrating that it's not just "in someone's head")

I'm not sure if I'm using the right terminology, but how can I detach without losing any love? I find myself needing people so much that it deeply affects my mental state, which is closer to BPD.

I've made significant progress since last year. I'm pleased to say that I've learned to control my thoughts and actions. I'm still working on it, but I'm getting there. For instance, I have experienced instances where I have felt a rage episode or lost in a trance-like state. I have experienced some intense self-destructive thoughts and behaviors in the past, but I have always been able to recognize them as such and choose not to act on them.

I would like to learn how to be less dependent on others, or at least to be less affected by it, so that it doesn't have a negative impact on my mental health or those close to me.

Medicare is initiating an eight-year pilot project, GUIDE, to provide direct support to caregivers of dementia patients, aiming to alleviate the emotional and financial burdens they face. The program will provide care coordinators to assist families with managing symptoms, coordinating medical visits, and arranging short-term care, with the goal of keeping patients healthier and at home longer. This initiative is expected to reduce hospitalization rates and save Medicare money, although its long-term cost-effectiveness remains uncertain.

I've posted previously and appreciate everyone and all the advice. As an update, I'm still without a job. IT in the Midwest area seems to be horrendously bad. I have friends out of work too, its not just me, but I'm over a year at this point.

Changed my resume more times than I can count, using advice from here, friends, ChatGPT, etc. No difference really.

My car was always first on the list to be replaced. Well, a few fays ago I hit/ran over an animal that ran out and it destroyed my radiator and who knows what else. This is a big problem, I live 30-35 minutes from any sort of city with jobs.

All I can do when I try to sleep is lay in bed and go over it all, how bad it is, what did I do wrong, why do things just keep getting worse and worse, etc. I'm hoping someone has a technique that works for them to get those thoughts out. So I can sleep well, and have the energy to keep on

Of course I'll accept advice about anything, and appreciate the time and everyone reading!

Thank you

I've been having quite a stressful period of exams recently and at one point I started feeling a mixture of burnt out and depressed. I immediately stopped preparing for the exams, and to ease the thought that I would need to manage 2 more years of this (this is what triggered the depression), I started making plans to switch to an easier degree.

Usually when I feel depressed I know exactly why (my mind tunnel visions on the big picture problem and blocks out the present), and once I address the cause I begin to feel hopeful again. But this time, although doing these things eased the immediate feeling of burnout, I have carried on feeling depressed. I am usually a humorous person so I tried to watch my favourite comedy to rekindle my playfulness but I felt completely numb to the jokes and nuance in it that I usually appreciate. Same when I tried to socialize.

I've removed the cause so I don't understand why I'm still depressed and what else I need to do to make my mind operate normally again. Could it be from other unadressed things in my life that have been in the background? Does anyone have any ideas?