Amid all these detailed subdivisions, what defines me or what role do I play in the bigger picture?

How am I perceived? I am confused. What am I allowed to be? What do I want to be. How to I want to be. Am I the cool guy if i feel relaxed and act upon it or am i the weirdo in this moment getting the giggles. I wanna feel free in my actions and spontanious empathic and emotional responses. Or is this just my mask craving for work? How to get the freedom to be one of our roles? Aaah brain makes too much brrrr