Why are they coming for you?

They've mistaken me for you.

My default response to answers I don't know or don't want others to know.

"I'm legally unable to answer that question"

They can have it... already switched to Firefox when Google killed ad blocking.

My FB account, for the last year or two, is nothing but hundreds of memes and comments yelling at conservatives for being hypocrites and fascists.

I stole some gummy worms from the supermarket candy bin in 1985.

Because I fucked ur mum in the bum

Because I nearly won a National Merit Scholarship while already being an avowed communist and refusing to say the Pledge of Allegiance in class.

...Okay, maybe that answer was too realistic.