Only way that you're happy here...
Only way that you're happy here...
An image of the pointy-haired boss from Dilbert. The text reads, "You seem genuinely happy at this job. I've scheduled you for a drug test."
14 comments
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If only the creator hasn't turned out to be completely insane.
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Yeah, and his former fanbase was exactly the sort of educated professional that isn't likely to tolerate his White Nationalist conspiracy theory bullshit. It's remarkable how suddenly Dilbert went from being pinned onto the cubicle walls of every office in the Western world, to this meme right here being the first time this year I've seen a Dilbert character anywhere.
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Well, he has terminal cancer, so his spewing of hatred will soon come to a permanent end
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oh no! where are they building the public restroom?
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I threw out all the books of his that I had rather than recycle them. I was afraid someone might see them and save them from recycling.
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Mother fucker, the only reason I can walk in this building is because I'm high as fuck.
14 comments
Drug tests in American workplaces genuinely baffle me. If you're not operating heavy machinery and can do your job while high, who gives a fuck?
From what I've heard, it's less that the actual employer cares and more the the employer gets a discount on their insurance rates if they drug test employees.
A ton of employers also have a tree branch up their ass about drug testing. Even for legal drugs and for positions that it doesn't matter.
My last job was mostly staffed by middle class suburban women, and down here every other one of them is on something illegal, from weed to their child's Ativan to heroin. Well, they randomly drug tested our office one day, saying anyone who was positive was fired. Out of the 8 people in my office, 6 of us were positive for something, including me, and I know one of them was a false negative considering that I'd recently purchased a brownie from them.
Anyways, they just conveniently forgot about their new drug policy after that. No one got fired for it. From the rumors I heard, the district manager was going to go through with firing everyone, but someone from corporate reminded him that we were already understaffed by 5 people, and that firing 6 out of 8 people would mean closing the office entirely.
Drug tests have been a regular thing over there for at least 20 year. But its only recently they started talking about societal collapse.
I literally haven't been drug tested at any job where I wasn't operating heavy machinery except when I got a job on that cruiseship. But I mean... I would count it under the machinery thing anyway, because as a crewman I am still responsible for the safety of passengers in an emergency (and would also rotate on active fire duty). It's also not like I could get weed on the ship anyway 🤷♂️
Hell, I'd straight up smoke with my boss at lunch while working at Walmart. 🤣