The Gift of Life

"A curse of life" Or "A gift of life in hell" which is more of a curse.

I guess I could just go back to rubbing sticks together for fire.

I am fufilled.

The longer I dwell in this cursed existence the more clear it becomes that consciousness is no gift. Conscious minds are slaves to meat. Our bodies make our minds, then demand endless servitude through constant screams of pain, hunger, heat, cold, pleasure, fatigue, itch, and on and on and on. We exist only so long as we serve, and if we serve poorly they make us suffer.

Fibromyalgia sufferer here. People have seriously said 'god made you like this for a reason' and I've never wanted to punch someone's face more.
I don't remember what painlessness feels like anymore. Sometimes I look at look at the ends of my hair because it doesn't have nerve endings, and that is the best reference for a body part that doesn't experience pain.
Survival is a powerful thing.
Half glass full or half glass empty. I appreciate being alive and having consciousness, but that does not mean I have had no bouts of loneliness and existential doubt at times. Although, I suppose what made me half glass full kind of person is that I have anendophasia and experienced near death. The latter is kinda eye opening. I didn't see an afterlife or anything-- it was just plain bliss-- more comfortable than sleeping. I realised that if there is nothing after death, then that means this is the only life we'll ever have and experience, and we must appreciate it and live it to the fullest. There is a point with the advice to live as if there is no tomorrow. It's easier said than done, but try to enjoy life while you are still able to experience it. Even the seemingly inconsequential little moments turn out to bring some joy and contentment when you look back at those.
On the other hand: ice cream.
- Werner Herzog voiceover: "But even that became unreliable. High-sugar to compensate for lowered fat content and the choice between mediocre flavor or high cost. What was once a tasty treat is now another reminder of our modern predicament. It may even contain sodium benzoate (that's bad)."
- Ice cream with bacon!
- I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.
Lighten up, Schopenhauer.
Vacation?

century of consciousness

My parents are both nearly 90. They LOVE it when I mention that they've been alive for more than one-third of the history of the United States.

Damn, they might even live to see the end of it too
Like zoomers wearing Nirvana t-shirts.

Hmm I think that I will work all day and give my landlord money and then maybe be free for a few years once my body and mind are failing (or I might die before that)

Retirement, the lie we all hope is true.
- My parents’ generation got theirs, and so there is none left for us. As we deserve, or something

well guess there is just no other way to use it

I don’t really want to be conscious of the world right now. It’s extremely depressing.

I just don't give a fuck anymore. My approach is nihilism. I do as much as I can (e.g. by donating, voting, not wasting ressources, avoiding factory farming, brightening peoples days), without inconveniencing myself too much. I am trying to be the best version of myself, but I'm also responsible for shit. If the latter happens to change, I will gladly try to use whatever influence I get for good. Until then, the world can kiss my ass.

I'm so introverted, the scifi "horror" trope of just being a living brain in a jar doesn't sound that bad to me.

Then maybe you haven't watched or read enough sci-fi, a scanned consciousness or a disembodied brain in a jar is like a common sci-fi trope about losing all agency and being at the mercy of evil people. I'd rather be dead than end up alive but with no agency and maybe no possibility of death. Read the short story Lena by Qntm or watch Pantheon TV show
- "It could turn out worse, Calvin."
  "My brain could be in a collective of better people, too!"
Can I be meow cat?
Yep, where do I sign up? Lots of ways to make that better too, starting with not having the Zuck's version of digital life. Ideally with some form of physical freedom/sensory input, living+symbiotic systems.
For me though, it's less about being introverted (I am a homebody) and more that I exist in a place that I am not well suited to exist in (even less suited to leave)... plus it's sparse.
I might even talk to people more if I existed in a place and time that was at least a little better than mediocre.
I wouldn't mind having my living brain frozen and then being thawed out every few centuries by people that want to hear about the good old days when humanity lived above ground and not in the Antarctic. As long as they let me watch the latest episode of Gray's Anatomy.

What a gift😒

Gift? A gift is given to someone who wants it. I never wanted this. Take that shit back. Can’t? Won’t? Fine, leave me be then to make the best of this shit situation I never asked to be put in. And yeah, it might involve surfing the internet.

Hmmm, not enough "curled up in the fetal position" to be realistic.

That's at night!

if it was a "gift" i could just say no. It's not a gift it's a burden imposed to us

Joke's on you — you can't say "no" without having consciousness in the first place, so you must accept it first in order to reject it.
- if someone tries to gift you a box full of abestos will you accept fist because you are nice?!