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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

funny @lemmus.org

2y ago

Squidward

60 comments

Not all metal, but there is a type of metal that increases a person's probability to become a violent criminal. It's called "lead".
- Dad?
- Wait until they tell you that mercury is in Gatorade

idunno, some kind of metal has been involved in overwhelming majority of violent deaths since copper tools were invented.
- Make music (with metal), not war!
  
  i dunno, those brass tubes seem kinda sus

Lead singer of Cannibal Corpse loves claw machines and plays them on tour. He collects up all his winnings and donated them at a local orphanage at Christmas.
He also sings I Cum Blood
- This must be one disturbed individual. What makes someone go down this route? I don't understand how anyone can enjoy claw machines.
  
  Especially once you find out it's not actually a game of skill, it's just rigged. Operators can change, among other things, the percentage of times the claw will grip strong enough to actually get a prize and how often the claw deliberately drops a prize you did manage to snag.
- Don't forget frantic disenbowelment
- Well does he?

Speak for yourself. I regularly go out to help old folks buy groceries, volunteer at soup kitchens, and get shitface drunk. Not necessarily in that order.
- “Hey fuckin…old lady, wan summ help with HIC Crozeries? Im SO FUCKIN STRONG” vomit
- Shit face kitchen and soup drunk
  
  That’s a bad restaurant name followed by a great one
- Meanwhile here's a picture of one of metal's brutalist lead vocalists
  
  The picture doesn't load for me but I just know it's George Fischer

I used to drive a shit commute. I'd put on metal to vent my frustration and suddenly have a huge smile. I'd imagine people in the pit picking up people who fell and think how my parents would never understand.

Finland is the happiest country in the world.
They also have the highest number of metal bands, including one specifically targeting children (it's called Hevisaurus btw).
These two facts about Finland feel like they shouldn't line up but they do.
- Obligatory Party Cannon.
  
  You mean Payaty Cannon (the reversed R is pronounced "ya" in languages that use the Cyrillic script, so what I saw was Faux Cyrillic)?
  I can already hear the booing.

I find Beethoven makes me crazy if I listen to him to often. I can feel the madness seeping off the notes.
- Mercury poisoning transmitted through air vibrations.
  
  Unrelated, is your profile pic the stronghold advisor?
  
  Environmental contamination transcends space and time.

I have the vinyl for dopesmoker and evey time I put it on my roomate would always fucking zonk out on the couch. That was before he started the marijuanas.
- Next try Cannabis Corpse
  
  Its on the list!
- Proceeds the Weedian!

It's true, I listen to unwind. If I had to listen to Celine Dion or something I'd just get more stressed.

Literally me for the last few days: listening to dsbm and staring at build errors 🤣

Obviously a bit daft to generalise about any musical genre but if I were to pick one with a higher number of capably violent people I'd say Streetpunk (also known as oi) and if I had to pick a second it would be hardcore punk.
- Gangsta rap beats all genres mentioned here in terms of associated violence and death.
  
  You've obviously never lived somewhere rural where country is king. Hicks are violant as hell, there's no comparison.
  You just don't hear about I because we fuck around in the woods and down backroads.
  
  Not if you take the crimes per capita of that genre's fans. Something like Norweigan Black Metal would win then, or some tiny Nazi punk scene.
- Country music.

I'm not super into metal, but I like going to metal festivals because the people there are always chill. Just stay clear of the mosh pit and you are going to be fine and even if you are unknowingly entering it, they will find out pretty quickly that it was a mistake on your part and escort you out.

It's true, sometimes I need the soothing sounds of Individual Thought Patterns to help me fall asleep

picks up a screw I will harness this things power to take over the world.

You should post this on c/metalmemes@lemmyworld

Me napping to Archspire

Civ players: 🤔

Most metal heads in my experience spend their time styling their hair, blowing each other, and listening to music made 40 years ago because their genre hasn't made good music since the late 80s
- That's a weird way to say you don't know anyone.
  
  A metalhead got the girl he fancied but never spoke to
- Have you talked to one since the 80's?
- I mean, who doesn't like a good bj?
- Hah! You attempted a troll.
- me listening to metal while playing minecraft:
- Nice bait. 5/10
- Jokes on you, I blow dudes while listening to trance, not metal.
- by far the most biased experience ever
- 😆 Good joke

60 comments