9 mo. ago • 97%

No wonder he compares himself to Elvis.

(From Colbert last night.)

25 comments

Elvis had four-month-old compacted feces upon his death. I wonder how old the stool inside the oompa loompa king is right now. He could be carrying nuggets from the filming of Home Alone 2.

34
- How.. how do they know.
  Did they open him up, saw those very-old-looking stools and said "we have to radio carbon that shit!"?
  
  14
  
  Just cut it up and count the rings
  
  10
  
  "Look, corn! Last time I saw him eat corn was four months ago!"
  
  "Just write it down, Brian. I want to sew this motherfucker shut."
  
  8
- Eat more fiber people.
  
  9
  
  Also don't do opioids, they can stop the movement of anything in the intestines. No amount of fibre would help Elvis.
  
  11
  
  There are fibre people!? 😱
  
  6
  
  And drink water. Fiber alone and you'll get a blockage
  
  4
- He's allegedly incontinent and stuffed to the gills with stimulants so he's probably emptying his bowels as soon as something hits his stomach
  
  8
- New favorite way for this man to go out.
  
  6
- Wow, I had no idea. The drugs he was taking were really messing him up for sure, this sort of thing can happen to those who take pills for recreational uses. I thought it was smoked heroin honestly.
  
  4
  
  Yeah, being serious, I've actually known people who were addicted to heroin who were always constipated. It would be super hard for them to have a BM, and when they did manage to pass stool, it would plug up the toilet beyond belief. It can be a real serious issue.
  
  3
- He's got Buzz's girlfriend in there. Woof!
  
  1
So erm. What’s that uniform he’s wearing?

23
- https://www.nydailynews.com/2020/08/14/the-year-trump-went-astray-a-former-new-york-military-academy-classmate-on-the-emergence-of-a-self-promoter/
  
  18
  
  Paywalled?
  
  2

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