Your username has suddenly become your only means of staying alive. How bad is it?

No shit, Sherlock

75

I'm good until I run out, I guess.

47

Oh dear.

33

I dont like this game

28

Finally, my time to shine.

24

A little slimy and unconventional but I’m up for the challenge

24

I’m just confused

23

I have no idea why situation would cause smoking weed and having sex with sharks to be a matter of life and death but I'm incredibly curious to find out

20

I'd say pretty fucked, one way or another.

20

Pretty sure my time would be up.

19

I like my odds

18

I planned for this exact scenario

18

I'm more worried about innocent bystanders tbh...

16

Either I'm a lawyer for warlocks making sure they don't enter tricky contracts with devils, which I assume pays well, or I'm a lawyer and a warlock so will soon have my own TV show.

16

I guess eternal life through some profane kind of undead cyborg magic... Bad maybe?

15

Let loose the flaming giant elephants of war

15

I don't know what's in it, but its keeping me alive.

15

It’s great.

It’s the choice of a new generation.

15

I have food and transport, I think I'll be ok.

15

The cure is worse than the disease.

15

Well considering I only learnt to drive automatic, it’s not looking good.

14

Guess Im poopin.

13

Vanth is from Etruscan mythology, a female demon that escorts the dead through the underworld. Generally seen as a helpful guide rather than mean or frightening. So if I can mix mythologies for the sake of a colorful mental image, Hell-Uber across the river Styx, please tip your driver.

On the plus side, I probably don't need much income as a demon.

13

Pretty good I think!

13

If knowledge is real and can be applied to anything, I guess I'll be alright

12

I would survive just fine as long as you follow my instructions. I can live on a diet of 90% hay with a small amount of species appropriate pellets and a salad every day. I am going to need a lot of room to play and shouldn't be confined to a small cage. At minimum I need an exercise pen as my home base with at least 6 hours so I can run around the house and binky. I should have a box to hide in because I'm easily frightened and I would live underground in the wild. I will do better if you keep my water in a bowl but by all means put it in a bottle if i prefer that. It's better for me to stay hydrated than to try to exist within some ideal that doesn't work for me.

And for the love of God it's a myth that I don't need medical care! I have a very sensitive digestive system and it's a critical emergency if I don't eat for more than a few hours or if my eating slows and my poops get small. So many people say their lagomorphlecture just died with no warning but if they knew what the warnings were and took them to get treatment they would be ok.

I should definitely be soayed or neutered regardless of your society's beliefs about that. Uterine and testicular cancer are very common and I'm unlikely to live past 6bor 7 years old if you don't get me fixed.

I am a very social creature and I should be kept with a bonded mate. If I lose my mate I will become depressed and need either a new lagomorphlecture to keep me company or a lot of your time to help me get through it. It can help me accept the loss if you show me the body of my mate so I can understand and accept that they are gone.

I will provide you with further instructions for my care later on.

12

I have meat at least

11

I guess something is better than nothing.

11

My mighty herd will protect me! 🐐

11

I guess I'll just jump into the nearest body of water, even better if it's at night.

11

Well, I guess I will be up all day and night.

11

I'm used to it.

10

Staying "alive" shouldn't be a problem.

10

Can i manifest it as a super power?

10

Well I won't have any problems with doctors I suppose

10

I'm in GREAT shape. :D

10

I guess I’m in my twenties forever now‽

9

Not happy about this, but present

9

I cast spells

9

I'm set for as long as breakfast is overburdened

9

I'm pretty happy.

9

Depends on where I live. I'm dead in the coming summer.

9

Roll around in some kelp and then float away

9

I'll be fine with the powers of the wizard king of Israel, weed and dinner for two...

9

I'm really impressed at how well I'm staying alive...wow!

9

I mean... I'm a pope and a king. I think I'll be alright.

8

Looks like I'm drinking my way out of this. Who wants a brewski?

8

I'll survive for a little bit but I will almost certainly be the cause of my own death.

8

I feel pretty safe

8

Not too bad,

I didn't choose the chug life, the chug life choo-choo chose me!

(And it's got a picture of a train!)

8

I am the person who should have died at every turn, but somehow being the only one that lives to the end, I imagine.

or I die by licking a diseased corpse.

So, hard to tell if its good or bad.

8

Uhhhh...

8

At least I’ll be fed

8

It's me or the other guy

8

Well, coffee is essential. It's just more on the nose now.

8

Maybe I can try to convince people to put me in charge

8

I'll be OK.

8

Depends on which one it is, one of them is significantly more helpful than the other.

8

Not nice

8

I can't think of anything more metal than subsisting on arsenic, lead, and belladonna mixtures.

8

May very well go up in flames, is how bad.

8

I'm in command but my crew had BETTER stay on my good side.

8

....... Ohhh.......

...... Ohhhh nooooo........

(unless it doesn't have to be literal if I can get a job voicing Facebones let's fuckin gooooo)

8

I'm... uhh. I think I'm screwed here.

8

Oh fuck.

8

I think I'll be ok.

7

For fuck sakes, can we not do this on Lemmy

7

I'm gonna have what plants crave.

7

Will you have a cup of tea? Ah go on, there’s plenty in the pot. Go on, have a cup of tea, so. Go on! Go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on ….

7

I have to either rob or digitally pleasure someone named Cooper

7

Oh I'll be "Stayin' alive," alright.

7

I guess I'm a black rabbit now. Could be worse.

7

I gotta eat pineapples

7

Welp, time to change my diet, as if they didn't have it rough already by being lonely. Sorry little dudes

7

Very bad. I'll I've got is a really gross bagel

7

This is not how I expected to get a degree in arachnology

7

Not so bad

7

Time to stab Polyphemus in the eye and get outta this cave, I reckon.

7

Not bad at all.

7

Another day on the job, comrades

7

Si vous dites mon nom, vous comprendrez.

7

I think it'll be okay come night time.

7

Guess I'm setting fire to a lot of robots ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

7

I spelt mine wrong.

7

I'm a lazy boy there's no doubt about it Might take a miracle to get me started

7

I sell tea, as 418 is a teapot, so I'd say not so bad

7

It's bad.

7

Sounds like I'll be doing psychedelics or phenethylamines possibly. Not a bad way to live.

6

Well, fuck

6

I'll be just fine.

6

Oh well, I'll die happy

6

You got a quarter?

6

Suing beverage companies for having severed toes inside

6

I certainly wont be starving to death!

6

I guess I'm a rightwing pod caster now.

6

I'll be fine

6

Has a slightly toxic, mysandristic taste to it, but overall the stew is much more palatable than anything else that came from this awkward creature.

6

As long as I don't run out of fuel and crash...

6

could be worse

6

It's bad for you. I'm a steal yo girl, and if you come near my taniwha hideout, I'm going to eat you.

... I'm so high right now. That's probably how this ends for me: humans bringing me some cannabis, getting me too high, and leading me somewhere out of the way.

6

It's my name, so I guess I'll do ok?

6

Every 3 letter agency would be after me shortly

6

My username is a bird that steals fish. I'm not sure how I'm going to get on the good side of one, but I guess I'd better get used to either seafood or hunger

6

I'm not sure about nutritional value, but it could be worse

6

Sorry guys, the end times are on us, but at least they're cute and fluffy.

6

I mean there are a lot of doors that are our only means of staying alive in some way. Doors are very important.

6

I'm in luck! 😁

6

I’ll figure something out

6

I uh ... might be okay once I figure out what's going on

6

Uhhhh I suppose I like cereal

6

Brb, loading up on carbs.

6

Everyone will let the Wookie win?

6

Oranges and collared greens, I suppose. Could be worse.

6

Not a lot changes

5

With the US healthcare system? Expensive.

5

I'm going to pick my nose!

5

I will foolishly ride my dolly to safety like a wobbly skateboard. See you later losers!

5

I'm a very old Musketeer.

5

I'm just some random Lord now, which theoretically will come with resources so I should be okay

5

It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us. I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel over and die - Michael, we don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.

5

I'm aceing at it, sadly.

5

Well, I can hunt, I guess.

5

Seeing as you can't eat rocks I'd practically be dead.

5

I guess that I'm now praying to a really shitty version of Satan, uh. Or perhaps selling really cheap lamps?

("Lvxferre" is just broken Latin for "Lucifer", or "light-bringer")

5

Link and Shulk, doing it 69 style, would have to be involved.

5

McDonald's stocks go up 200%

5

Pretty good but I have the feeling Quantum Computing will kill me if Im not careful.

5

People think I'm bullshitting all the time.

5

Ganon with the Morph Ball upgrade would be U N S T O P P A B L E

5

I can live off soiled bread I suppose

5

If you have one of those halo things your already kind of dead right?

5

I stare at the wall reciting pi over and over, while my body withers, mind untethered, consumed by a mathematical void.

5

We musn't speak of him. He is legend.

5

Maybe dying isn't so bad after all...

5

I came up with the spelling based on the word "pattern", and this was just a screwy way of spelling it ~30 some years ago and it's just what I've always used. I'd probably be screwed if I had to rely on it, other than finding patterns in nature can help animals stay alive, I guess? That's all I got.

5

I'd be just fine.

5

Basically no change.

5

:,(

5

Pretty good actually.

5

The best I can make sense of it is that I make my money as some sort of emo catboy vtuber. Assuming I'm not already reasonably popular, that boils down to how good a streamer I can be and the economic factors of going into the EN vtubing industry after the initial boom. And I'm already at a disadvantage because "emo catboy" is a weak concept that lacks originality.

5

Im okay with this, whole movies exist with this outcome, good times ahead

5

Guess I'd better whip out the scarves and space berets. I'll be just fiiine.

5

Ooo fishies

5

Haha, I’ll still be around in millions of years.

5

I'm fucked.

5

The Grasshopper Mouse kills scorpions and then screams about it afterwards, so I think I'll do alright.

4

Most of them are dead, but Mr Burns has enough money to keep me going a while.

4

My name is genuinely not actually Steve so I'm good

4

I would have to go back to reddit to get an "open in new tab" function. This username is actually because I created an account once (years ago) after nuking my first one just so I could have the "open in new tab" functionality back.

4

im now a vampire with a slutty thrall?

i guess theres worse ways to live

4

But what if it didn't happen in my timeline?

4

I hope for your sake that your name isn't Jack.

4

I'm already dead

4

I'm fire proof, and a shit speller.

4

I try to save money anyway, so I guess it’ll be ok. At least as long as nobody needs avenged.

4

I should be fine, just gotta change my name

spoiler

I may also need to get smarter

4

Porn i guess

4

Curse this mortality, amiright fellow human?

4

I think I'd be alright.

4

Bollocks.

4

I'm not gonna worry about it

4

The walls are closing in...

4

Mecha + Magic = Mechagic Im in a magic mecha, i think im doing well

4

Not bad, especially if she comes with her ship.

4

Being a 'jockbox genius' means I'd be living on 'spam street', good buddy!

4

Yeah I’m pretty fucked if my ability to stay alive is predicated upon my assembly programming abilities. Don’t ask me to multiply.

4

Monté Christo was quite skillful.

4

I need to work on my temper

4

I now rule a highly advanced, militaristic, and xenophobic alternate reality and have psionic abilities. It's not as great as is sounds, my future wife is going to psionically teleport a gray-goo bomb into my chest at the end of the big climactic boss fight.

4

Uh oh...but if taken literally like the idea my best friend had when we were on acid and whip its, could be delectable. I'm willing to take the risk.

4

I got an RC car... At least I'll die having fun.

4

Seems like a fun spell

4

I guess this one is a bit of a freebie for me.

4

I'm mostly fine, I hope

It doesn't have to be good, right?

4

your cash and your jewelry is what i expect

4

Would be nice to be buzzed all the time

4

Silver Wings of Morning is a Shatterling ship of Gentian Line. Shatterlings exist six million years in the future. The ship is so large that it contains other ships in its hanger.

I will have no trouble surviving in this futuristic ship.

3

No one knows.

3

I’m a tree.

3

I... I don't know. I legitimately do not know.

3

I guess it's kill or be killed...

3

Omnipotence helps.

3

Oh my, this is not gonna go well.

3

Pretty appropriate considering it means "The fuck is that?" where I'm from (not written the real way mind you, it would be "Quessé ça?" and that would still be "slang")

3

Welp, im a vampire now

(Universal Infinite Shadow of earth is what my username means soo...)

3

Guess I'm a melee mercenary in a ranged weapons world now. Sucks, but at least I get self healing? Also an immunity, come to think of it.

3

If the environment is game rich, I could do ok. But if we’re talking animals that are skittish and I can’t get close to, I’d starve. Could probably use the shaft as part of a bow drill to start a fire, so I’d have that going for me.

3

I was once told "meco" is Spanish for semen (likely not the formal word but slang or something with a dialect). So... 50/50?

3

Nothing changes for me.

3

She has a shotgun. I should be okay.

3

I feel like I'm not the one it's bad for.

3

Make of me what you will…

3

Well, I was almost a music major.

3

I guess my fate is in the hands of the RNG gods.

3

Do you guys think Elon would let me take his SpaceX Starship in a time machine back to 2021 so I could fly to Mars and survive?

No, I do not have $4 billion to pay for this endeavor, I'll just take out a loan and tell the bank its for a scientific breakthrough.

3

Mine is the name of a character I used to play tabletop.

He was a Chaos Space Marine.

I think I'll be okay.

3

I'm just glad it's not rouge because then I'd likely be a prostitute.

3

I’m good.

3

Whatever it is, it’ll be tremendously important, but I won’t be able to convince anyone.

3

I gotta get to Greece!

3

Idk.

3

I’m still here.

3

Bout the same, but my life expectancy just got extended by around a factor of 2

3

I mean, you tell me.

3

I mean, probably wouldn't be bad initially. It would just get worse as time goes on.

3

I guess I need to find a Gleemonex dealer.

3

I'm not allowed to drink anything I guess

3

I'm a fake Belgian/Dutchie.

3

If everyone dressed like me the world would be a much less violent place

3

Hmm

3

shrugs I just do.

3

Pretty good I think.

3

Mine is a jolly good lot of fun as I fend off attacks with well-coined analogies.

3

At least I'll never go hungry, but eventually I'll get sick of myself.

3

I'm good. Nom nom nom

3

Suddenly I need to order a lot of explosives...

3

I’m pretty sure I’d be ok in multiple realities

3

I'm already gone.

3

Bamboo-fed, succulent and juicy steaks

3

I'll be fiiiiiine

3

Noisy.

3

Stressful mostly

3

I hope I don’t need a boat. I’m fine if I need a lesbian.

2

Better than the next guy's.

2

I am in the Matrix where no one can find me.

2

My screen name goes back to the 90s when I played Starcraft Original and stands for eXtreme Killer Force. I'll be fine.

2

My fitness is questionable, but my knowledge is vast. I'll team up and be ok.

2

Sweet, I'm a wizard.

2

I guess I am drilling wells? Maybe manageable.

2

Please, ya gotta help me Tony! I don't know what else to do!

2

So it's now a life and death situation for me to ensure cheetahs don't go extinct?

2

I'm gonna need a bigger van.

2

At least I'll have food.

2

Donate today, and this is not a request.

2

... I think it'd be something you'd call an oxymoron.

2

I wish I chose MeeKrob now.

2

I think for me, there'd be some sort of lord involved. Couldn't tell you what would happen, though.

2

"CanopyFlyer" is a reference to my skydiving days.

I have a tad over 4500 skydives.

Even though my last jump was 18 years ago, I think I'd be pretty safe if someone threw me out a plane with a rig on.

2

I'm gonna be A-ok

2

I'm seriously.

2

things just work out, it seems

2

I mean, it’s pretty good name for a streamer I think, so I could probably do something there

2

Itll either kill me in a burst of inspiration to the dome or be a very colorful and interesting way to kill people.

2

I would get paid to help people be assholes.

1

I’m already dead

1

I guess this tree has leaves on it I can eat?

1

Tons of way to make a living, but the living is on the edge. Plus problems with the law.

1

I mean, as a software developer I kinda already have the means to stay alive. I’m an underpaid one, but I’m alive non the less.

1

I don't know how this is going to go down, but I believe this strange new world is full of regret for me and those around me.

1

Uhhhh, depends on if I'm jiggling the sackles or having the sackles jiggled?

1

Sniff it first...

1

I am me. Nothing changes, all is well.

1

I guess something involving swimming?

1

Need to find a way to become a lovecraftian horror stat

1

Bizzle is my legal name so I guess I'm chillin

1

I go to your wedding

1

Renere

1

Russian fucking roulette

1

About the same.

1

Guess I'm eating a lot of waffles from now on

1

Either really good, or really bad

1

If I die, you die. If I eat, you eat. If I drink, you drink. ...

1

Oh shit, I'm gonna have to remember how my past me did this the last time around.

1

Well considering Huntress from dead by daylight is my namesake depends what she is supposed to keep me alive from. Starving in the post Apocalypse she has me covered, but if she's not bound there's a good chance I end up as dinner instead

1

Welp. I'm just dead. I can make it to level 6 or 7, but this game is the original souls-like.

1

I need uranium, fast!

1

Well at least my shoes will stay tied

1

Pumpkin seed oil every day 😋

1

Well, I'll probably stay alive for a day longer

1

Sigh... unzips

1

I'm just a civilian here.

1

Long as I can evade the authorities I should make bank

1

My opacity causes screen burn ins.

1

That's a good question.

Most of my jumps were with a competitive 4 way and 8 way teams. We had sponsorship the last couple of years, so we did a ton of training jumps. Which included going to Florida and Arizona multiple weeks over the winter.

Why did I quit? After years of jumping together my team broke apart due to long running personality conflicts. I jumped another couple of years, but just didn't get the rush from it. One time I landed and started gathering up my main and realized I just didn't feel anything any longer.

It just made sense to stop. Also, I met the future Mrs Canopyflyer and she is not a jumper. She supported my jumping and actually tried to talk me out of quitting. It was just time to move on. A lot of people like to say she was the reason I quit, but she was the reason I stuck with it after the team dissolved. The team break up was pretty nasty and it affected me in ways I didn't realize till years later.

1

Well..., by being charming?

1

Name’s Donebrach. It ain’t foreign.

1

I think I have to steal things from glowing bugs.

1

Guess I can't talk to people anymore without throwing salt in their eyes, or I'll die.

0

Oh shit...

0

I can handle it..

-1