New research reveals that stress promotes cancer metastasis

Well that's stressful.

Didn't know I was doing a cancer speed-run.

Oh good. Something else for me to worry about.

Well that's just fucking great! Of course already having a shitty life means you have to endure more shit. The universe hates us.

Reminds me of this

Oh no--

I thought this was common knowledge. Stress free long life. Accept bad shit happens and do your best to not be a shit cunt. Surround yourself with half decent people and don't waste your time with those that aren't good people