6 mo. ago • 83%

I absolutely love milkshakes. I just wish they loved me more.

Is this what god feels like?

#lactoseintolerant #funny #joke #showerthought @showerthoughts

25 comments

I'm so glad that the only thing my body is intolerant of is intolerance. I can have all the milkshakes and cheese I want, as long as they're not fascist. 🤤

23
- So now Jewish bagels for you? 😕
  
  -2
  
  Everything bagels contain everything. Including fascism.
  
  8
  
  That's antisemitic
  
  3
Chug some lactaid before and after ftw

17
- Unless they have other forms, isn't Lactaid a pill? I have some in my cabinet...
  
  4
Lactase enzyme tablets are relatively cheap and easy to carry at least a few around at all times

14
- @jqubed
  
  for some items they work well with, but liquid milk is a roll of the die for me...
  
  7
  
  Check the pack it should give you a recommended tablet limit. The ones I get are 1 glass of milk wich makes it fine for 99% of things.
  
  It might be milkshakes bring all the boys to your yard and you need an additional tablet.
  
  7
  
  I remember seeing this back on Reddit a while ago, but you may be Casein intolerant rather than Lactose intolerant, it's less common but the same effects. Some dairy products have more Casein than Lactose.
  
  4
- These just seem to delay the inevitable for me, with wicked cramping in the meantime.
  
  5
Just use literally any other kind of milk other than cow milk? 🤔

14
- Sure, but if someone really loves milkshakes and they find a specialty ice cream place that doesn't do non-dairy, they'll just have to walk away either disappointed or filled with toots
  
  2
We are all malted milkballs in god's regretful milkshake

9
- Thanks, Ken
  
  3
I make homemade ice cream. I have made lacrosse free ice cream for people several times. You need to find lactose free whipping cream and lactose free table cream but once you do you're golden.

500 ml 35% whipping cream

1 L 10% table cream

1 1/2 c granulated sugar

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

(Sorry I'm Canadian, that's how we measure things.)

Dissolve the sugar in the table cream. (It's hard to dissolve that much sugar in whipping cream.) Once the sugar is dissolved add the whipping cream and vanilla and stir to mix.

That's your base.

Put it in your ice cream machine and make it into ice cream. Put it in a container and freeze it hard.

If you like milkshakes throw a bunch of the ice cream you made into a blender, add lactose free milk until it mixes nicely, then add an once of your favourite bourbon. (Or don't. I fucking love bourbon milkshakes)

Enjoy.

6
- Man, I remember back in my day these came with a whole life long journey leading to acquiring the recipe. Now they just give them away!
  
  /s
  
  1
  
  Sorry. I could write a novella of you like.
  
  1
Ohh, haven't touched one in years. Of all the dances I am willing to dance with dairy, this one is sadly verboten.

5
It's a cleanse

4
They bring all the boys to the yard

3
I have to say that I have mixed feelings about the Ninja Creami blender-style ice cream maker compared to a churner. But holy shit it makes perfect milkshakes with near zero effort. Makes it completely worth it.

1

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