2y ago

Report: You Could Quit Job Right Now And Just Play PS5 Until You Run Out Of Money

www.theonion.com Report: You Could Quit Job Right Now And Just Play PS5 Until You Run Out Of Money

NEW YORK—Saying the choice was entirely in your hands, a report released Monday found that you could quit your job right now and just play PlayStation 5 until you run out of money. “At this very moment, you could walk out the front door of your office and go home to spend month after month playing G...

120 comments

Don’t you fucking tempt me
- To quote the article,
  just do it—do it right now.
  
  Ok fine. Wait I don't have a PS5 and now I don't have a job. Dang it.

Please don't tempt me, I am barely holding on.

I've made it 9 months since I quit.
Lotta chicken and rice but I thought I'd take my retirement before I die in the food wars
- Bruh, I aim to the water wars. That's starting next year, I believe.
- Hmm that's an interesting chicken or egg problem. Which will come first, the food wars or the water wars?
  
  There are ways to purify your own water, as long as the contaminants aren't from something like nuclear, biological or chemical warfare. Subsistence farming is a LOT harder.
- Are you my roomate?

I've been jobless for around 2 years now because of depression and shit, finally got back into working and I hate myself for not starting up my world of warcraft career back up. I could be a wow king by now 🙃😂
- As someone who is currently neglecting their offline life again becausenof that game (Classic Hardcore goes brrr) - be glad that you didn't :D
- I've done that before. When I quit I stood in Orgrimar and gave out 10,000 gold to everyone who asked. That was a shit load of gold back then, although it might not be now. But I completely changed the Azeroth life of a dozen or so people.

If that doesn't work there's always plan b: drinking yourself to death
- Following in smashmouth guy's footsteps, brave
  
  Hey now

Definitely do this, except replace playstation with heroin.
- For real. Who has money for a PS5?
  
  I've seen for my PlayStation 1 backlog to get through
- Por que no los dos?
  
  Because depressants will make you suck at video games. You gotta get into stimulants to combo with gaming. On the plus side, if you get into meth or crack, you'll have the energy to hold down a part time job and full time gaming addiction for a few months before you start to come apart! Then you'll have a few more months of just cracked out gaming after you get fired before you're evicted. If you're lucky and steal some wifi, you could eek out a whole year of 40+ hour gaming weeks of erratic, aggressive high level play. You'll set random records. You'll birth new slurs to yell at children. You're not gonna accomplish any of that on heroin. You're really gonna let people down on heroin.
- This comment was wayyyyy too palatial.
  
  The comment resembles a palace?

i did this last winter; i firmly believe everyone has and needs slovenly unemployment periods to remind you of the perils of not working [but in equal measure, the bliss of not working and the amount of luxury you can just coast on]
- I'm doing this right now. It's the first time in 10 years I haven't had someplace I needed to be 5 days a week. It's really changing my perspective on what I need out of a job and what I could be improving in my life if I weren't spending that time working.
- Ugh I wish... been working since I was 15 and I guess had the luxury of never not having a job? 25 years now and the longest break I have ever seen was 3 weeks for the birth of 1 of my children. The other was only 2 weeks. I can also count the amount of times I had 2 weeks off which was 3 times. The rest has been the normal 1 week off twice a year with a few other days here and there.... I'm so tired.
  
  This is horrific. I complain at my 5 week a year allowance sometimes because I feel It's not enough to avoid burnout at some points in the year... My productivity drops substantially after around 2 months with no break. I still output of course but if I take a two-three week summer break I come back dealing with issues that almost destroyed me before the break within hours or minutes and I can manage my team far more naturally. I think 8 weeks per year of holiday would genuinely boost my output overall.
  
  Like damn I'm in the exact same boat. Same number of years on the job and everything.
  I always considered myself lucky to not be unemployed, while all my friends got laid off over the years due to the .com crash, housing crash, and COVID.
  But maybe they were the lucky ones?

If only I had a PS5...

So I can quit my job and play PS5 for 15 minutes?
- I could go back in time???

Literally what I have been doing since last month. I made it a bit more challenging by going on a vacation for a week too.

The guy in the picture is not playing FIFA. If he was he'd be frowning and smashing his controller
- I don't think anyone playing any game has that expression on their face while playing.
  
  Nintendo Australia has captured the face when playing perfectly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIJODMsYbkc
  The silent pain of existence.
  
  You have never seen someone play Animal Crossing or Stardew Valley have you?

Look at mr moneybags over here who can afford a ps5 and a 4k tv
- Hey man, respect the speedrun strats
  His RTA poverty game is as close as it can get without TAS

Tempting.

I could take more than a year off before I run out of money. But finding rentals without a job is impossible regardless of how much savings you have. Atleast in Australia where you get evicted atleast once a year because the owner wants to move in

Amateurs.... I have been doing this for more than a decade. Thank you Satoshi

they should have called me for research, i actually tested this one when the technology was PlayStation(TM)

In this economy that's 3 weeks. I'd rather call in sick.

Me wishing I can play with roadswitchers until I run out of money

Super tramp manual lvl 1

Cross post this to one of the anti-work/pro-communist communities here. This would be their dream life.
- "Communism is when no work haha"
  Hot take there bud 🤡
- If it isn't yours, or substitute whatever hobby you find fulfilling, you're an idiot.

the xinjiang stuff is actually way more insidious than cultural genocide and organ farming that msm tells you about
what they actually do is brainwash you into getting a job, during which they implant you with subliminal commands to get a mortgage and a family, programmed to activate after you complete the 'employment training'. after you fulfill these subliminal directives (with the help of targeted down payment discounts and government assigned gfs) the brainwashing wears off and suddenly all those rounded up prospective freedom fighters wake up, stuck on the hamster wheel for life
aint no one ever fed their kids on a freedom fighter's salary, lemme tell ya. these guys are just stuck being desk jockeys for the rest of their lives. fates worse than death
- Fuck off hexbear

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