Zero judgements from me, but if nobody has ever told you, that's a PTSD symptom (ask me how I know 😩). Just wanted to affirm that it's real and not a personality flaw if nobody has ever told you before. If you have access to therapy it's definitely a topic worth exploring with a good therapist that you trust.
That last part actually sounds kind of sweet. Definitely not the first part. My realization cause a lot of anxiety and still it's difficult to try new things because of it, even though I accept it.
It's all relative. You don't have to compare your issues with anyone else's or else there'd only be one person who had it worst that would be allowed to feel bad. Sometimes it's because of internal struggles that make things difficult and you don't realize til later. I only relatively recent realized I had been depressed a good chunk of my life, and likely due to having undiagnosed adhd literally making everything feel harder for me.