DrCatface @ DrCatface @lemmy.world

alcoholic idiot nightmare gamer winemaker

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427

Joined

2 yr. ago

thankyou for sharing. this is so helpful to all of us, a harsh reminder of the reality of this illness. there by the grace of god go I, who I was, who I am and who I could be again. my condolences I'm going to call my dad. all the best my friend, msg if you need to talk I can give you my whatsapp.

cold and rainy down here, been sleeping in a cuddle puddle with border collie and dalmation, 93

low 90s hyped for triple digits. one day at a time. can't do 3 days at a time.

saw a glass of wine and stared at it for a bit, quite literally thought nothing of it. completely vacant. I understand it's deadly to me and most of my friends, not to others. one drink is enough to ruin my life. again. never again.

walked past the same glass again and thought, don't think anything don't think any... dammit. 91.

🫡

YOOOOOOOOOO haha congrats !!! 3 months here, 3 years there. wonder how long we've got collectively. apes together strong

level 90. resentment gone. deadly stuff, it's dangerous in my brain I can't go alone I need a flashlight. I didn't want to take my meds this morning, didn't want the clarity I just wanted to be numb and run from my problems. it's like I've done 30 years worth of processing in 2 days. life's getting lifey. the novelty has worn off and it feels like normal. into action.

🪵

rough day all round. tomorrow's almost always better.

thanks v much, turns out the resentment wasn't justified. I mistook ignorance for malice.

🐢

resentment is the number one killer of alcoholics. we cannot afford the luxury of anger, no matter how justified. just replaying what happened in slow motion over and over in my head, getting angrier and unable to switch gears so I threw up a quick prayer, grant me the serenity etc, and it's mostly been removed I've calmed down a lot. dabbling with the adhd medication, dexedrine, has been extremely eye opening. I'm capable, functional, not wrapped in agony, anguish and turmoil. im still not prescribed but it's like everything is much clearer. I can sit down and read for an hour. I'm 31, the psychiatrist says, I think you may be adhd. mum says, oh I could've told you that. I glare and her mentally screaming, why didn't you. I just fucked up everything I went near for 30 years having no clue why I need to self medicate into blackouts every night and start every morning. I thought it was strictly ptsd and depression issues.

I'm diagnosed just not prescribed until I pee clean, it's hard to explain but 10mg makes me feel so normal, I can just blend in, talk to people, it's cut my cigarettes coffee and weed consumption in half, if I was already prescribed I would have no issue dropping weed forever. I have to stop self medicating for 6 weeks to get medicated. any way that's me I got a meeting tonight it's newcomers at the hospy so I'd rather get this out here. 3 months today woot love yas

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOtomorrow but I'm a lil excited inhaleOOOOOÕOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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this is great to hear, thanks for sharing your good news. what was the exam on and what's the new gig?

🦷

hey howd it go? no turbulence haha

YOOOO CONGRATS hats off to you my friend cannot wait to join you in the lap around the sun club

I don't know but I been told drcatface is mighty cold it's winter down in sydney too may as well be in a fkn igloo

thankyou for your service o7 good morning wish I could stay in bed til 3pm