Older people always remind me to change my clocks for Daylight Saving Time.
I haven't used a clock in years that I need to manually reset. Older people don't seem to realize clocks on phones and other devices reset automatically.
I've never liked eggs. Never bought an egg in my life. Though I admit I do eat things with eggs in them. If they disappeared completely, I'd miss cake, cookies, ranch dressing, and breaded chicken. Still, I'd rather do without those things than vote for Donald Trump. Having never used eggs for cooking and eaten many delicious meals without them, I'm baffled that so many people find it so hard to just do without them.
No pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again
You need eggs to make cake
I think Americans should stop buying eggs
Where do we store all the daylight saved during daylight saving time?
It doesn't double your dating pool, I'm sick of people saying that. It only slightly increases your dating pool from that of a straight person. You can only have CONSENSUAL relationships with straight people of the opposite sex and gay people of the same sex. Unless there are roughly the same amount of gay people as straight people, bisexual people don't have DOUBLE the potential dating partners
If I come out as bisexual, what do I get? Do I get a free pride flag and a copy of the gay agenda?
It would be hilarious if someone talked him into it
Yeah but I'm talking about one playing on the big screen
I'm holding him for ransom. I demand Trump step down as president
Yes. Any movie or series with a minority member as the protagonist is attacked for being "woke" even if their minority status isn't a plot point. There is no winning, if their minority status is the focus of the movie, people complain that there isn't anything else to the character, if their minority status isn't the focus, people ask why they have to be a minority if it adds nothing to the story.
People complain about remakes changing a character's race and say they should make new and original characters for that race, but when they are featured in new and original stories, people still complain.
What is the president of the Untied States going to do about the mice in my apartment?
SLPT: leave extra food out for mice so they don't take your food
Combination movie theatre and gym
Where you can walk on a treadmill while watching a movie
The phrase "mild-mannered" is meant to convey that nobody would suspect they are a superhero, but nowadays it is exclusively associated with secret superheroes
Do any superheroes have an ill-tempered alter ego instead of a mild-mannered one?
Well, what does Trump have to say for himself? Why is this somehow not his fault but would be any other leader's fault?
I've been at the movies the last few hours, what's left of America?
Eternals should have been an 8-10 episode series which each episode focusing on one or two characters
Onion headline: Trump declares tariffs will be in effect every second Tuesday and Thursday, the first Monday of every month, and some Wednesdays
The Untied States of America
And trans-fats
"I love the poorly educated"- Trump, 2016