BalanceInAllThings @ InEnduringGrowStrong @ttrpg.network

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2 yr. ago

Your party just met up for the first time at this retro restaurant and the robowaitress asks what you want to order.
You don't have much in the way of company credits, so it's a bit awkward as you barely have enough for anything on the holomenu.
[...] Luckily, your new patron to be notices and says they'll take care of it.
"5 breakfast lab-bacon sandwiches" and waives his credstick.
You don't know much about the guy, but even if this job of his doesn't pan out, a meal's a meal.

The corpo ad plays loudly on the holo:
Lab grown bacon is the closest thing to the real thing, 100% guaranteed
A small disclaimer, barely big enough to be legible scrolls in and out too quick, you make out the words "purge", "reconstructed", "flavor", "simulation", befit the thing pops out of existence the robowaitress heads off on skates.
It's common historical knowledge, so you all know that actual pigs were all purged in huge mobile incinerators more than a decade ago after a bad wave of swine flu, so who's to say what bacon was really like...
Rumour has it that the "lab" in labbacon is actually for labrador meat, which... you're pretty sure is just an urban legend to scare kids into eating their synth-celery.
As you wait, your new patron cuts to the chase "So, before I spill the details on this job, tell me about yourselves? I like to know new contractors"
[...] /awkward roleplay [...]

He eyes you suspiciously, like he's not quite sure what to make of y'all.
"Alright, that's for us, I'm starving", he says with a big smile as the robowaitress zooms across the busy room with a big platter, expertly and effortlessly zigzagging between customers, bums and other hazards.
Then there's a loud crash and a bunch of weirdly dressed, blindfolded weirdos appear out of thin air, flailing, swinging, dancing?
They're chanting something you can't make out and they're dressed even more ridiculously than in these old holomovies you've seen (describe your old party, focusing on how out of place they are).

The platter goes flying and crashing as they start stomping around, seemingly intent on fighting your meal for some reason.

"Fucking Glitter addicts" Fixer McFixer Face mutters, standing up.

Roll initiative

On her turn, the robowaitress shouts a much louder, recorded message: "SIRS, THIS IS A WENDYS ™, DISPERSE IMMEDIATELY"

(After a few rounds of chaotic fighting or fruitless attempts at getting the intruders' attention... they zap out of existence like they were never there, except for the mess.)

The robowaitress resumes her programming, bringing you a mostly empty platter with sad, smashed bits of food scattered here and there.
"Enjoy your meal, satisfaction guaranteed"
As she says the word guaranteed, there's about 3 pages of legalese verbiage that scrolls in and out of existence faster than any human can probably ever read, classic. She storms off as soon as this blinks out.

He picks at bits of thin leathery brown-greenish strips of pressed labbacon pulp, and whatever destroyed remains and sighs with a resigned look.
"Well, I don't know what the fuck this was about, but it seems you can handle yourself, you're in."
Getting his credstick out, he reserves the table for another half hour and orders a new platter.

(Start explaining their first job/adventure)

It’s like when you go to an office social event and realize you only ever talk to these guys about work stuff.

It's funny because I just got back from the office social thing and yea whenever we drift to something else than work... yikes.

I have no suggestion but that sounds like a great idea so I'll be checking back here in a while.

Back in my day, we'd go several sessions without a rest which really did wonders to tone down spellcasting nova.

updates once a week on Monday

Which is easily the best part about most Mondays.

Also, even a fighter who dumped charisma can be intimating.

I feel like alternate abilities skill check should have a bit more spotlight.
The human 20 STR fighter PC wants to intimidate this guy by snapping this fence post in half like a toothpick?
Sure buddy, give me a Strength Intimidation check.
Other people might intimidate through words and sheer personality, but this guy's as strong as a Glabrezu, yet half the size, and can just bend a sword with his hands. (Oh shit, that's where all these bent swords are coming from)

While STR Intimidation is specifically mentioned in the rules, there's a lot more combinations that could make sense depending on the situation.
The problem is it relies mostly on DM fiat instead of neatly and explicitly described spells, so it's less obvious, less reliable and less used.

Next up: players currently search the town looking for the Phandalin printing press, harassing every NPC they find.

My guess would be a bug in connect for users coming from different instances.
Most likely, @Metriximor@lemmy.world was taken to https://lemmy.world/post/837105 instead of https://ttrpg.network/post/837105 ...
If that's the case then that would a bug in how the Connect app deals with absolute vs relative URLs and not something you can fix on your end.

For linking to communities, we can use this format which should work fine regardless of which instance you're coming from !rpgmemes@ttrpg.network

I do not know of a similar way for linking to posts.

"We Are Pleased That You Made It Through The Final Challenge, Where We Pretended We Were Going To Murder You."

Moonbeam to turn back non magic shape shifters?

Take a few mindflayers, including arcanists.
Sure, the party could wreck them in close combat, they know that.
Levitating to be our of melee, splitting/cornering the party with a wall of force in a nice ambush spot with difficult terrain, and just mind blasting them.
If they ever lose the upper hand, they can just plane shift and come back later, better prepared.
Maybe their minion fodder are hobgoblin warlords.

I feel like most enemies encountering this party would avoid the melee meat grinder if at all possible.
The party can probably wreck an aboleth too if they face off head-on, not that the aboleth would give them such an opportunity.

I'd recommend TheMonstersKnow.com [... what they're doing].
It's a blog which is also available in book form with tactics for monsters.

Mike is the main reason I'm even considering running a game at all.
He's turned my whole perspective around.
I thought I had to be some sort of omniscient writer/entertainer, whereas I can probably get away with it by just making shit up as we go, rather than trying to herd cats into a book I shouldn't be writing.

3 paladins, 6 players, what's the other 3?
Any fireballs?
A mob of smaller enemies could give a bit of work to paladins, between raw numbers and pack tactics or stuff like that.
Running hordes by Sly Flourish might help keep it reasonably flowing: https://slyflourish.com/running_hordes.html
Even if they get fireballed, at least those characters get to shine for once.

Keep in mind that you, as a DM, "win" whenever everyone's having fun, not when you beat them.
That said, it sure is fun for everyone when you give them a challenge.

You can also put pressure on them indirectly.
If they're so fearful, maybe the monsters just avoid them so they can focus on easier pickings.
Their martial prowess is unmatched, sure, but how do the bad guys deal with it?
Maybe the bbeg sacrifices fodder to occupy the party to buy themselves time to focus on whatever ritual or macguffin.
Even goblins could overwhelm them eventually, given the numbers. A hundred? A thousand?

Also, the party can't be everywhere at once.
The ones occupying the PCs die just fine, but the other hundred still ransacked the town.
Whether the PCs crush the monsters might not matter to your bbeg if they can just delay them long enough to accomplish their goals.
Maybe the bbeg has a doppelganger win their trust or manipulates them somehow.

Mechanically, your paladins probably dumped dex or int. Feeblemind, Enemies Abound, Mebtal Prison, Synaptic Static or even Mind Sliver could be annoying.
But then, is it fun? Idk.
A few mindflayers ambushing them, or maybe a vampire turning a beloved NPC.
If you can't challenge their martial prowess, challenge their morals.
Will the party keep messing with the bbeg plans, or will they focus their efforts on saving that npc, buying the bbeg time.

Maybe a one way portal can spice things up more than a bag of hp or a save-or-suck effect.
Idk

In no particular order...

Maleficient, Cersei Lannister, Hela, Bellatrix Lestrange, Cruella, Ursula, Queen of Heart, Poison Ivy, Wicked Witch, Mom from Futurama, not sure of the xenomorph queen from Aliens counts?, GLaDOS, Number Six, Stargate had a few over the years, Starcraft's Kerrigan/Queen of blades, Resident Evil's Lady Dimetrescu, Carmen Sandiego, Doom's Olivia Pierce, Airbender's Azula, Carrie, Annie Wilkes from Misery, Claire from House of Cards, the Aunt in Handmaiden, Harley Quinn, Lady Macbeth...

That's all I have for now

You apologize about as much as Konsi.
It's fine, we love you.

I clean the scanner regularly, it’s just surprisingly hard to clean it 100%

The trick I think is finding a good solvent for your media.
Coloured pencil would be mostly waxes and oils.
My go-to is usually a high % isopropyl alcohol, it cleans up pretty well, dries fast (you don't want leftover solvent touching your next scan). Next up, if it's really persistent would be odorless mineral spirits. (Odorful?) mineral spirits work too I guess, but given the choice I much pretty prefer the odorless stuff.

I very much prefer kimwipes over paper towels which usually are a bit too scratchy and can leave some fluff behind. Microfiber cloths are reusable, but once you load the fibers with waxes, it doesn't really work as well.

Do check that your scanner top is glass and not cheap plastic before using mineral spirits.
As with anything, try it out in an inconspicuous spot first to be sure.

Otherwise, isn't Scan without trace is a third level spell available to trickery domain clerics?

For Karl! Rock. and. STONE

Whoops, wrong place, carry on.

For a tenth of the price too

And now I wonder what bedtime stories were like when Gary Gygax is your dad.

"Time for bed son, get your dice, we're going back to the tomb of horrors."

"But dad, I'm scared, I just wanna go to sleep..."

"Fine, but I'm still rolling on the encounter table"

FWIW, I really like these as they are.
I've binged through them a while ago and they feel like a wink to an actual campaign, genuine.
Little windows offering glimpses of things that could have happened during actual play.
Like.. this doesn't need to have happened as is during a session, but it feels true enough for the characters that it could have happened during or inbetween your actual D&D sessions.

Countless forgettable series on streaming sites have writers, didn't do them any good.
Even if you did hire a writer, it would just lose focus.
Do they even know the campaign? Probably not. Even if they somehow did, they're notorious for not sticking to source material because they too wanna get creative. I don't have anything against writers, but you're doing a fine job yourself and I don’t really see how someone else could write these without losing touch.

I'd rather hear it from the goblin's mouth, so to speak.
I love Konsi and the work you're doing.