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I don't think it counts as a fetish if it's a common thing to be attracted to
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What is a discreet way of waking myself?
I had a smartwatch that had a very annoyingly buzzy vibration, so I empathize with this problem. If nothing else works I do believe that some expensive smartwatches (like apple watch) have a more quiet "tappy" vibration. You could test in store to see how loud the sound is before buying it
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I use a to-do list to remember important tasks. But if I am anxious about a task, just looking at the list triggers my anxiety.
love your enthusiasm for your wife ☺️ but they probably meant pathological demand avoidance (PDA)
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