I definitely showed more traits when I was young. I hated bright lights and loud noises, I carried specific items with me everywhere I went, I often missed social cues amongst my peers at that age, and I visibly and noticeably stimmed (rocked back and forth, squinted, rubbed my face). I still stim sometimes, but I think the fact that I feel leagues more comfortable in social situations these days is what mainly makes me feel like I'm "faking it". I do miss some social stuff sometimes. But I've also done a lot of things I never thought I'd be able to do when I was a kid - I can drive, I have a career, I have close friends, lots of things that I was certain were unattainable (mostly bc I was riddled with depression and anxiety). I think my biggest fear is that I've been considering myself on the spectrum and then finding out that I never was. Like I was taking advantage of a group that I don't belong to
I definitely showed more traits when I was young. I hated bright lights and loud noises, I carried specific items with me everywhere I went, I often missed social cues amongst my peers at that age, and I visibly and noticeably stimmed (rocked back and forth, squinted, rubbed my face). I still stim sometimes, but I think the fact that I feel leagues more comfortable in social situations these days is what mainly makes me feel like I'm "faking it". I do miss some social stuff sometimes. But I've also done a lot of things I never thought I'd be able to do when I was a kid - I can drive, I have a career, I have close friends, lots of things that I was certain were unattainable (mostly bc I was riddled with depression and anxiety). I think my biggest fear is that I've been considering myself on the spectrum and then finding out that I never was. Like I was taking advantage of a group that I don't belong to