" So, that means every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."

I always thought court philosopher would be a good gig

Can't really choose a favorite, but it would have to be something from Leonard Cohen -

Ring the bells that still can ring,
Forget your perfect offering,
There is a crack, a crack in everything,
That’s how the light gets in.

Also - giant hogweed, which will burn you...https://www.nps.gov/articles/species-spotlight-giant-hogweed.htm

Pretty cold (average low temps are below freezing 5 months of the years - lowest about 30 below, though that was before the heat pumps).

Two logs houses - the heat pumps have done a great job, though we still use the wood stoves some (often just for the coziness/nostalgia).

sketch artist: "I'm good, but not that good"

I love his books! You might check out Joel Achenbach too - https://www.simonandschuster.com/authors/Joel-Achenbach/1162553

It's been a while, but I think Max Barry came up with Global Unified Deity in Jennifer Government (great book, by the way)

Gene Weingarten - One Day: The Extraordinary Story of an Ordinary 24 Hours in America.

I love the way he writes - check out his long feature writing.

I seem to gravitate towards journalists: Tracy Kidder, Erik Larson, Sarah Vowell, Joel Achenbach, Jon Krakauer, Joe Starita, Mary Roach

Agatha Christie's are classics, of course - and Dorothy Sayers - but there are so many variations.

Maybe check out Ann Cleeves, or Andrew Vachss is you prefer darker, or Ruth Rendell and Patricia Highsmith for psychological -

https://thistleridgesoap.com/ is another. Great soaps, though she's retiring soon, so I'm looking for alternatives too.
Maybe try a castile or black soap - I like those