Shitty Million Dollar Ideas

Self explanatory.

The slogan "Meat meets meat"

Probably one of the grossest thoughts I've had this week. It makes me thing about Smosh's Beef 'n Go video from 16 years ago.

Idea: Comedy subscription were you get the setup for free but have to pay for the punch line

\#shittymilliondollaridea #comedy @shitty\_million\_dollar\_ideas

Going on a vacation but still need to annoy the people downstairs? Attach a thumper to the floor and know your responsibilities are taken care of

An empty nuclear flask. (Used for transporting nuclear waste) cross-posted from: https://lemmit.online/post/3918471

> ##### This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot. > The original was posted on /r/mildlyinteresting by /u/vcjester on 2024-09-14 00:32:51+00:00. >

From the makers of demand-priced car rides, concert tickets, and rents comes VariPay, a new Demand Based Salary calculator.

Instead of a fixed salary, employee income will be based on how much work there is to do, and when there is enough work, how efficient they were and how much effort they put into it.

The system is purely driven by AI, so nobody can accuse the vendor of favoritism. It runs continuously 24x7, making instant salary calculation updates no matter where in the world you live.

The service can automatically integrate with the previously announced AutoHR system, so firing and re-hiring replacement workers are handled with minimum friction. Efficiency levels can be charted in units of currency, aggregated worker heart-rate levels, or kilo-teardrops.

It comes with a management dashboard showing the amount of salary saved vs a traditional 'time-based' pay system. It also allows alarms to be set and parameters adjusted to accelerate cost-saving measures. Optional modules dynamically calculate management bonuses and maximize shareholder buybacks.

Optional VR headset so you can get POV handjibbers from your favorite waifu.

FTC: Over $110 million lost to Bitcoin ATM scams in 2023

cross-posted from: https://infosec.pub/post/17077253

> ​The U.S. Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has reported a massive increase in losses to Bitcoin ATM scams, nearly ten times the amount from 2020 and reaching over $110 million in 2023. [...]

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/41186922

> Only with a certified Crumbgrabber^tm skull can you be 100 percent satisfied with your purchase! All our skulls are vegan, macrobiotic and chock full of vitamins and minerals! > > Build your downline with confidence we will be around for decades to come!

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/39821737

> With over 2,648,948 urinals around the world the time is ripe for a new transformative business model using blockchain and realtime scores automatically posted on social media. We hope to go full on Idiocracy and get Youtube and Reddit to partner on realtime posting of all videos. Can't miss. Get in on the first initial capital raise of 300 billion, which will allow you to access the NFT's and URUCOIN(tm) We promise no rug pulls this time. Act NOW! > > > > cross-posted from: https://lemmit.online/post/3694441 > > > ##### This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot. > > The original was posted on /r/mildlyinteresting by /u/cndvsn on 2024-08-16 13:31:24+00:00. > >

Create a backwards Lemmy that only has below 0 rated posts, and companies pay to be excluded from the site.

Bonus: use mark to market accounting like the great Enron.

I feel like this works on multiple fronts.

1. It gives off big tough guy targeted shirt energy that's bound to give them a rush beyond what a white Monster can offer and will surely impress the waitress at Chili's.

Example of the targeted shirts I'm talking about:

!

2. It hits people with the anger than immediately follows up with the confusion. "Shouldn't the mom be riding them?" "Is this implying my mom is into pegging?"
3. Harley Davidson is the Supreme of middle aged dads and they'll buy whatever has their logo.

Maybe there could be a whole line of bee theft protection gear. Imagine a subwoofer that plays a low buzzing sound or fake hives for the passenger seat.

An AI-powered wearable system tracks the 3D movement of smart pills in the gut

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/33835948

> New business plan-break into the museum, steal the T-rex, add colored lights and Trumps voice using AI, and make doom predictions with it until the ransom is paid. > cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/16184904 > > > Based on the size of the tibia, experts estimate the dino was 13 to 15 years old when it died and likely weighed around 3,500 pounds (1,587.57 kilograms)—about two-thirds of the size of a full-grown adult. > > > > Ultimately, a Black Hawk helicopter airlifted the plaster-clad mass to a waiting truck to drive it to the Denver museum. > > > > Lyson said more than 100 individual T. rex fossils have been unearthed, but many are fragmentary. It is unclear yet how complete this fossil is. So far, they know they have found a leg, hip, pelvis, a couple of tailbones and a good chunk of the skull. > > > > The public will get to watch crews chip away the rock, which the museum estimates will take about a year.

I believe this is our best option.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ca/post/22546942

> A juror was dismissed Monday after reporting that a woman dropped a bag of $120,000 in cash at her home and offered her more money if she would vote to acquit seven people charged with stealing more than $40 million from a program meant to feed children during the pandemic. > > “This is completely beyond the pale,” Assistant U.S. Attorney Joseph Thompson said in court on Monday. “This is outrageous behavior. This is stuff that happens in mob movies.” > > These seven are the first of 70 defendants expected to go to trial in a conspiracy that cost taxpayers $250 million. Eighteen others have pleaded guilty, and authorities said they recovered about $50 million in one of the nation’s largest pandemic-related fraud cases. Prosecutors say just a fraction of the money went to feed low-income kids, while the rest was spent on luxury cars, jewelry, travel and property. > > During the trial that began in April, defense attorneys questioned the quality of the FBI’s investigation and suggested that this might be more of a case of record-keeping problems than fraud as these defendants sought to keep up with rapidly changing rules for the food aid program.

cross-posted from: https://feddit.uk/post/12444579

> > BrainBridge, a neuroscience and biomedical engineering startup from the US, has claimed that they are developing the world's first head transplant system. According to their website, it is "a groundbreaking device that will represent a landmark achievement in the fields of neuroscience, human engineering, and artificial intelligence." > > > > A video showing how BrainBridge will be doing the head transplant with the help of robots was shared on social media, and it has gone viral. The animated video shows two surgical robots operating on two bodies at the same time. From one body, they remove the head and places it on the other body. The animation further shows how the robots would work on the body if this technology becomes a reality. > > > > As per BrainBridge, this system is a "revolutionary concept for head transplant system, employing cutting-edge robotics and artificial intelligence to ensure successful head and face transplantation procedures with improved outcomes and faster recoveries."

cross-posted from: https://lemmit.online/post/3010934

> ##### This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot. > The original was posted on /r/funny by /u/theunfortunatename on 2024-05-25 23:35:12+00:00. >

Make and AI for tech bros that automatically replaces crypto with AI in all their their powerpoints. Use the AI in your own powerpoint to blitzcale and take over the market. Then make the AI powerpoint itself to raise money, thus outsmarting the competition.

Bog Scissors: Long handled scissors to be kept in the bog to be used for cutting extra long poops so they'll actually flush.

Crypto bro AI advisors for AI service but its paywalled.

1mil annual fee Exclusive access website but theres only one password

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ca/post/20106491

> Someone should make a variant of Khan Academy with the same content (which is under Creative Commons) but no non-libre software, call it 4khan, and list the "4 essential khans" (you khan run the program as you wish for any purpose, etc.) on the homepage

Literally a shitty million dollar idea.

Edit: Cue the bidet users storm.

Need something uncomfortably sticky in a hurry? Try the stickinator.

The plan is to replace the disinfectant with Kool Aid and the UV light with an Easy Bake Oven bulb. With people being less cautious of COVID 19 these devices are probably getting cheaper and what modern consumer doesn't love brand crossovers?

This is a shitty idea because anyone driving under the influence deserves to be tried and punished for their actions. But if this could be done, you'd have no trouble selling each pill for $1000.

Or, sell the pills for way less to those that want to get drunk off bread or pasta. Either way it's a totally plausible, feasible, potentially lucrative shitty idea.