Should you apologize to someone you ghosted before if there is a chance you might run into them?
Should you apologize to someone you ghosted before if there is a chance you might run into them?
Say you went out on like 2 dates and said person was too clingy and you ghost em, now you might have to face them due to work. Apologize or not? And if apologize, do it preemptively or upon meeting?
Also generally as a moral stance should you??
Honestly, no one deserves to be ghosted. You should apologize and explain that you weren't ready for that sort of relationship. Maybe they will understand, maybe won't. At the end of the day, you gave them closure though.
93This is correct. I’m sure the woman has moved on at this point but she definitely remembers. A simple “sorry, ghosting you wasn’t right” will go a long way.
9Not trying to start anything, but I find it interesting that you've made an assumption OP's talking about a woman. Reason it stood out to me out is that we're currently doing a lot of training at work about removing our unconscious biases.
Like I said, not trying to start something - just find it interesting.
7
Tell that to every woman I've ever dated/matched with. I am autistic so social norms confound me and I really have no idea what I did to piss them off.
4Yeah, I think you have to acknowledge it or they'll feel (at best) incredibly awkward the whole time. Don't make a big deal of it though - say you're "sorry you ghosted her and no-one deserves that. If she wants to talk about it then you're willing, but otherwise won't mention it again".
3Honestly, no one deserves to be ghosted
Really? Because I've had to do it for my own safety.
2If you have a legitimate safety concern then I can't see ghosting stopping them. Telling them it's over and you've involved the local law enforcement might be better to force them to understand it's over.
Look at it this way, do you feel like someone is likely to keep bothering you if they think you are dating or if they've gotten closure?
Also remember you don't have to tell them in person. A text or such is not a great way to break it off but explain you are concerned for your safety.
That said I see it as an option depending on the history and past history. Not for people who you went on 2 dates with and was like eh, no, kind of creepy. Instead people who have proven they are a safety issue. People who have hit you before.
That said people asking if it's okay to ghost people aren't in safety situations. Those people aren't thinking of how awkward it will be at work.
-4
What’s dumb question. Yes! You should apologize. And then grow up and stop ghosting people.
56I've only ever had one date in my life that went bad. I had a feeling I was about to get ghosted so I asked her to like. Lemme know why it went so bad from her pov. It was an interesting conversation.
If they bring it up just be honest with them.
45Sooooo ... why'd it go so bad.
10This was forever ago. But basically we both drove to a mall for I think sushi and a movie ?
The conversation during sushi went swell but during the movies I could tell she was sitting farther away from me than she had to.
On the way out I asked her if she wanted me to walk her out and she said nah. I was taken aback it was late at night. And was like. Are you sure ? She said yes so we parted ways.
I remember thinking man I'm not sure what I did wrong. That whole thing usually works. Lol.
Once I got home I messaged that I apologized if I made her feel uncomfortable in anyway and asked her on her end what went so wrong.
She told me during the movie / on the way out she thought I might attempt to kiss her. And she wasn't feeling that way. I thanked her for being honest and that was that.
I wouldn't have tried tho. I was fully aware that things weren't going ideal. But yeah. Thats the story.
40
Gaslight them and act like they ghosted you instead. Really flip the script until they're in a mental hospital.
22I approve
11Of course you would
2
"Feel like a bad person? In for a penny, in for a pound."
5You’re a bad bad person. But this might work.
5This is the only mature approach.
4
There's no point in apologizing. They won't gain anything by being reminded that you rejected them and they likely wouldn't feel better knowing why. If they say something, then apologize vaguely. If they press provide details. Otherwise ignore.
21I agree with this, OP. After some time has passed, it's also pretty likely that the other person has just moved on anyway and that they also would want to avoid the awkwardness of that diacussion
4
Chicken shit moves always deserve an apology.
14First of all, this is why you don’t date people at work lol
But yeah, I’d apologize and make up some excuse for not replying. I’d also be clear that you aren’t interested. In the future, just make it clear you aren’t interested instead of ghosting, so you can skip all those in between steps
13Ok I was 18 and we were at uni and in a different country lmao. No way was this situation predictable. But yeah no more ghosting.
23Sounds like the work situation is new, like they dated someone who they will now be working with
11Not even working together, I'm on a project for the company she works at for a few months and don't wanna bump into her.
7Small world 😄
2Maybe. I thought of it more like a return to office or promotion/transfer situation
2
I'd act like it never happened. If they recognize that they got weird, then they deserve some dignity. If they don't, then I don't want to get into that hot mess.
13This is excellent advice
2Yeah thats what I thought too. Thanks
2
As long as you demonstrated value, engaged physically, nurtured dependence, neglected emotionally, inspired hope, then separated entirely, you should be all good to go
11
9
Morally, don't ghost in the first place and apologise if you have regardless of if you're going to run into them, that's the mature thing to do
9I did this with my old best friend. I eventually apologised because the guilt was invading my dreams. It let me at least explain to him why I had to cut off all ties. We met one out two times since then but sadly the reasons that made me cut off contact have not been resolved.
But yeah, if it will make you feel better, I suggest doing it
3Probably would help with my guilt but that sounds like a selfish reason to do it. (No offence intended to you, your friendship was clearly more serious and it sounds like a reasonable decision there).
3Well it does have the double benefit of hopefully making them feel better. Either way it's worth a shot.
0
Just pretend nothing happened. If they bring it up say it was someone else. If they insist say that you dont remember. It's the easiest way.
-5It is the easiest way. It's also the coward's way.
3So?
-1