The Jesus Christ of the New Testament was a dark skinned communist who belabored loving and helping immigrants to his followers, whipped the greedy, and informed them they would go to hell if they didn't stop being selfish fucks.
If the Jesus of the new Testament both existed and returned, the "Christian" right would be first in line to kill him again so they could get back to worshipping this guy:
66Its not that they don't read it. They only read the self serving parts of it. They ignore the parts that they don't agree with. This of course makes them false christians. They focus on the ten commandants but ignore the slavery and outright barbarism in the rest of the old testament. For the majority of false american christians its the pick and choose part of the bible. They also ignore the teaching of Jesus in the new testament. The parts that tell them to be tolerant, to not cast the first stone are reinterpreted to to take offense at anything that someone else does that they do not like. All their hate and all their hang ups are their own but they use their version of the bible to support their hate and intolerance. None of them ever question how god seems to always want what they want. Destruction.
29Those kids would be very upset if they could read
22And Thank you for using this version of the meme template.
22As someone who unfortunately has had contact with such people, I can assure you that the most extreme of them read their Bibles (KJV ONLY!) every day. For these fundamentalists the Bible is literally their laws, and so extensive knowledge of scriptures becomes a core part of how they exert power over each other and maintain their social hierarchies.
18Most haven't. Many have. Most of those that have just cherry pick the parts they care about.
The remainder that have read and understood it just compartmentalize the cognitive dissonance. They ignore that the being they profess their undying love for was an unemployed, unmarried vagrant that wandered around with his buddies, that spread philosophy and free food and medical care to strangers, that spoke out many times against the rich, the performatively religious, bigots, opportunists, violence, and retribution, that encouraged one to live a minimalist life, to humble yourself before your sick, poor, and foreign brother, to wash the feet of sinners, and that was an activist whose chosen forms of protest included flipping tables and chasing money changers from a temple with a whip. But no, I'm sure he wanted you to make sure gay people don't get married, or whatever.
17I mean duh, they're descended from the intellectual reflex that believed translating the book and receiving mass in your own language were sins.
Of course they don't read the book, they believe only their priest can read it "right", and they probably look at accusations they don't read the book with confusion over "Well of course not! Don't tell me you anarchist lunatics are reading it yourselves!"
17I love how the good liars would tell christian right wing book banners about a book that contains a story about 3 daughters who got their father drunk and had sex with him and they'd ask them if the book should be banned.
14Some of them read the Bible, never read the news. They just listen to what they community says. If everyone you know and trust says president Jimmy bean is the most fantastic Christian devout president ever why would you question it?
I mean they already don't possess much critical thinking skills at that point, at least in this kind of context.
10M&D made me go to Baptist summer camp. gave me a haircut before leaving and again once trapped there. turned me into the atheist I became. now basically an informed agnostic. too many religions to hate will make you just a hater. see them coming a mile away.
8Lies.
They only read the parts they agree with from the Bible.
8I disagree with the implication that the Bible or even Jesus' teachings as told by the New Testament, are left wing or right wing. It doesn't map to modern politics at all because it's ancient, their politics were just different, and also it's not univocal, it's hundreds of authors who all had different politics and different willingness to import their politics into their religious text.
Because of that, you can easily read it to confirm your biases, no matter what they are. Apostles went out as married pairs to spread the Gospel in early Christianity, that's in the Bible, so women are equals and should be allowed to be priests? But also women should cover their heads and be silent in church, that's in the Bible too. So who should we listen to? There's no "right" answer except whichever confirms your biases.
Even if you are trying to read it historically, I'd argue the historical Jesus (from the Q source sayings and implications from what different authors added or subtracted from Mark) was remarkably egalitarian for the time but he was doing it from the perspective of an apocalyptic preacher, eg he said his followers should give up all their money to the poor, but it was because the world was going to end during the current generation... which was 2000 years ago. So does that even apply as a life lesson in the modern day if the world isn't ending?
So the religious right may well have read the Bible, and come to a different conclusion than you, and they're not necessarily wrong, and neither are you.
7None of them have. Like the Trinity was invented at the first ecumenical council of Nicaea over 300 years after the stories of the gospels. The word and concept have no biblical basis whatsoever. So even back before the biblical canon was finalized they weren't reading it and made it up as they went.
7Yep.they get their info from "preachers" who themselves cherrypick the parts that align with their messages
6Because US Christians are a bastardized offshoot
5At the very least they haven't read past the Old Testament.
5Going to be honest: They read the Bible or at least parts of it. But most do not truly process what they read. Not to mention that pretty much all of them are reading biased translations of translations of translations where a lot of nuance and caveats and original meanings are lost, if not completely mutated into something that's antithetical to the original meaning.
But anyway, gays are bad but shrimp is okay as are my tattoos and the 70% cotton, 20% rayon, 10% polyester socks I'm wearing. Time to stone a whore.
4The creator of this meme never read Calvin and Hobbes. Stop desecrating Watterson's work.
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