4 mo. ago • 91%

Is there any better example of a food that doesn't deserve to exist?

There are lots of things that can be put down to personal taste, however I can't let this abomination go.

I am referring to Branston Smooth.

Branston Smooth image

I love Branston Pickle, but I can't get on board with Branston paste. Is there a better example where a manufacturer made an updated version of a food that was objectively worse?

44 comments

This undrinkable piece of shite.

Guinness Cold Brew Coffee flavour.

19
- Someone at the Guinness Storehouse needs to get sacked and exiled from the island.
  
  8
  
  ... For not doing this earlier right? These are amazing
  
  1
- Ah, that reminded me of another bizarre Guinness product I saw when I was travelling to the States.
  
  Why would you have Guinness American Lager?
  
  8
  
  They did do a really nice lager some years ago. It was a limited edition but rather good. Wish they'd bring that back instead of this crap.
  
  4
- American here, if y’all need help bringing those responsible for that abomination to justice just holler, shit is fucked up
  
  6
  
  Sort your own shit out first mate, fucksake lol
  
  8
- Loved this, but unfortunately Guinness have discontinued it 😔
  
  4
- I have a fourpack in my fridge. These are so god damned good, they dont have any right to be but are absolutely amazing how good this is
  
  3
  
  We talking about the same thing? Thin, watery, an insult to Guinness, an insult to coffee.
  
  This is like when Kraft bought Cadbury's and started to do mash ups nobody wanted.
  
  3
- How is that different from a coffee stout?
  
  3
  
  It's Guinness branded.
  
  Maybe they thought that was enough. It's proper disgusting though. Not sure what they were on when they dreamt that up 😂.
  
  2
Oreos. Bourbons are superior in every way.

18
- I really don't get Oreos. The biscuit doesn't taste of chocolate, and the paste just tastes of paste, making it worse than custard creams.
  
  It just tastes "budget".
  
  13
  
  Thing is, Oreos were the better copy of the cookies that preceded them, Hydrox. And I love Oreos.
  
  So now I just have to try some bourbons. What brands would you recommend?
  
  I've been watching a lot of British comedy shows lately. I want to try a sausage roll too.
  
  But not 'absolute casserole'. That sounds a bit disgusting and messy.
  
  6
I'm in the US. On my last trip to the grocery store I saw that the Mt Olive brand is now selling pickle juice as its own separate product. They had little shot sized bottles and big liter jugs of it. Someone had the actual nerve to market this as a "sports drink".

It's literally on the same shelf right next to the pickles, and cost nearly twice as much.

15
- Okay, fuck that, but hear me out: it’s a good sports drink. Drinking a shot of pickle juice for every couple of water bottles on a day where you’re pouring sweat keeps you hydrated better than Gatorade (also good while drinking, and the sour and saltiness mixes well with tequila). There’s no reason to pay a premium for it instead of just skimming some from pickles you already have though.
  
  21
- That sounds grim.
  
  6
I didn't know that was a thing, and now I want to unknow it

10
- I want to buy forget.
  
  1
Faggots, they're just a poor man's version of Haggis. (Grew up poor eating faggots)

5
- I want to know what this is, but I'm not sure how to Google it. Can you give me a couple keywords to include with the name?
  
  1
  
  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faggot_(food)
  
  They are pork meat balls, made with pork belly, bacon, if you get traditional faggots then they will also contain a bit of liver and kidney too.
  
  2
Princes tinned chilli.

I get Sunday evenings to myself at the moment, so I've been doing the whole sitting in front of the telly eating some shit that the wife doesn't like. I tried chilli with cheese, sour cream, and Doritos, but didn't want to cook just for myself.

I tried a tin of Princes chilli, and while it was nice enough, it's pretty much pureed.

I'd tried another brand the week before, and it was lovely, but this felt like eating baby food.

4
This shit.

2
Marmite. I had the displeasure as a child to mistake this for jelly when visiting relatives. It was a nasty surprise.

2
- I'm hoping this is an American. I can't even imagine taking a huge spoonful thinking it's blackcurrant jelly.
  
  6
  
  It looks like "stoop" and I'm Dutch. So I expected high octane sugar... It was not. To this day I'm convinced it it made from the gunk thats left after refining oil.
  
  5
- How do you mistake Marmite for jelly?
  
  1
  
  In the Netherlands we have something called stroop and this looks similar. I was very young 85 to 8 maybe) and did not know any better.
  
  1
I once tried Red Bull Cola.

I am very flexible when it comes to Cola. I have my strong preference, but I'll drink other brands to when offered, with one notable exception: You'd have to pay me to drink Red Bull Cola again. They should've stuck to Energy Drinks. All their pretty flavours are nice, but that one product is an crime against my tastebuds.

2
- I miss Virgin Cola, I remember that being one of the better colas.
  
  1
Smooth refers to how it goes down when you smoke one.

1
Mushrooms. They look vile, they smell vile, they taste vile, the texture is vile.

Mushrooms. Vile.

-2
- Sorry, I love them. Fried as part of breakfast, cooked with cream on fresh sour dough toast.
  
  Beef and mushroom pie. So good.
  
  3
- I'm with you on the taste and smell. To me they smell like dirty old socks
  
  1

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